RecentChange Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 (edited) I have a back ground in sociology and understand statistically significant studies. There have been peer reviewed, published studies showing that childless couples report higher levels of "happiness" in their lives / relationships. I am on a phone right now, but will see if I have time to dig up links for you later. This is not a particularly new or controversial notion. Edited to add... Here are some basic news media links (I no longer have subscriptions to published journals... And again, do not have time to dig). http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complete-without-kids/201103/fact-or-fiction-childfree-couples-are-happier-couples-kids?amp= This one references an American Sociological Society study. Childless couples are 'happier,' study suggests - BBC News This one references a university study. https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2016/12/06/health/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/index.html This one references two studies, from Princeton University and Stony Brook University Evaluative and hedonic wellbeing among those with and without children at home | Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Study claiming neither are happier when variables are controlled. https://www.today.com/amp/parents/does-having-children-destroy-happy-marriage-t113028 Reference to a Journal of Marriage and Family survey. You are welcome to research the cited studies. Edited March 21, 2018 by RecentChange 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I have a back ground in sociology and understand statistically significant studies. There have been peer reviewed, published studies showing that childless couples report higher levels of "happiness" in their lives / relationships. I am on a phone right now, but will see if I have time to dig up links for you later. This is not a particularly new or controversial notion. But you will die before we do....statistically speaking... I think there may be something to it(bolded)... Being child free does give one more freedom and flexibility to indulge in things like spontaneous vacations, and people without kids will likely have more disposable income to buy stuff and pay bills.... But then again, I don't know how a study like that could ever really be truly valid....People with children have had both ways of life, while child free only had one...There is a strong possibility that their(childless) lives would have been more enjoyable with kid(s), but they don't really know that....I have known even the most hard core "no kids" type of people do a complete 180 when they finally have them...You just don't know... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 For the most part these studies do not ask, would you be happier with our with out kids... They ask questions about stress, happiness, daily life etc and parents tend to report lower satisfaction levels over all. Their joys are probably more joyful, but their stresses and pressures more significant. Children also affect the amount of time a couple has for each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I'm using a Chrome browser to follow the links. Bolding of the quoted conclusions is mine. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complete-without-kids/201103/fact-or-fiction-childfree-couples-are-happier-couples-kids?amp= Is an opinion piece, not a study report. Childless couples are 'happier,' study suggests - BBC News Summary conclusion only with no link to the actual study. https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2016/12/06/health/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/index.html Again, conclusions only. But includes the summary conclusion 'New study finds no difference in life satisfaction between parents and non-parents ' Evaluative and hedonic wellbeing among those with and without children at home | Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Again, conclusions only. Includes the statement 'For a sample of 1.8 million Americans of all ages, and without controls for other circumstances, we find little difference in subjective wellbeing between people with and without children.' Study claiming neither are happier when variables are controlled. https://www.today.com/amp/parents/does-having-children-destroy-happy-marriage-t113028 So 'no sale' on the previous post asserting that studies show couples without children are happier. Pending someone posting a link to an actual study report AND a review of that report, I rest MY case that there is no study supporting the assertion. Link to post Share on other sites
Keats Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Having kids makes you miserable for sure. Having no kids means there is no misery that is child related. Still that really isn't an assessment of if someone is haply or not. I for one am much more tortured yet much more happy with children. Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Not everyone is cut out to have children or even to be in a relationship! You're certainly not alone and there is no reason to feel there's something wrong with you. BUT... society will make you feel like a second class citizen for not following this path, and it does mess with your head after awhile. This is one of those things society has yet to get comfortable with... especially if you're a woman who won't be traditional. It's more acceptable for men. I've heard people say they got married, not because they were in love but because they wanted to feel 'normal'. Check out some of Whoopi Goldberg's interviews on youtube. She's done this. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Here are some basic news media links (I no longer have subscriptions to published journals... Sorry, RC. In my first response to your post, I focused on following the links. I 'should' have paid enough attention to notice that you said the links were from news media (Trump may be an ass, but I agree with him that lots if not most news is 'fake') and that you had specifically said that you didn't provide links to the professional journals. Nevertheless, I'm sensitive to people, here on LS and elsewhere, repeating conclusions that they have heard in the media, media that more often than not has an ideological ax to grind. My favorite example was years ago when a televised BBC report characterized my community with the statement 'everywhere you look is poverty'. They had 'conveniently overlooked' the wealthy neighborhoods, thriving businesses, modern hospitals, and three colleges, two of them private. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Kids were never for me. They're not for everyone. Some people just know they must have them, and they're the ones who should, but instead a big percentage just have them by accident. They completely derail your life . Now some people welcome that. But if you already have a goal or direction, plus you feel no big push to have kids, then don't. I am 65 and never had them. I'm super glad. I can't even imagine what things I'd have had to do to keep a roof over all our heads and afford them. Just taking care of me has been a big enough challenge. Plus I like "me" time. Kiss that goodbye if you have kids. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 So 'no sale' on the previous post asserting that studies show couples without children are happier. Pending someone posting a link to an actual study report AND a review of that report, I rest MY case that there is no study supporting the assertion. You do realize that most published studies are not free to the public right? You need to subscribe (pay fees) to the research publications. You are welcome to subscribe to the American Sociological Review, or maybe the Social Psychology Quarterly... or any of the other scholarly journals and read the actual studies, including their sampling methodology, statistical significance etc. and come to your own conclusions. Secondary analysis (comparing multiple published studies) has a lot of merit - but takes time and understanding of social research. You are welcome to look into it yourself. You may rest your case... but it doesn't mean your conclusion is correct. If you are curious, pay the fees, and read the studies, which are numerous in nature. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 BUT... society will make you feel like a second class citizen for not following this path, and it does mess with your head after awhile. This is one of those things society has yet to get comfortable with... especially if you're a woman who won't be traditional. It's more acceptable for men. It really depends on where you live as well. San Francisco? Less kids here than any other city in the nation. I really do not feel like an outcast in any way for not having kids. Around here, it is very normal and an accepted path to take in life. I am so glad I do not live in a place where I am pressured to conform to societal ideals that have nothing to do with what *I* want for my life. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Studies have show that couples that don’t have children are happier. So if you don’t want children then don’t have them. Don’t have them just to have them. Not having children doesn’t make you a failure. My 2nd wife never wanted children. Children are a huge responsibility and are expensive. Yes and not to mention the number of parents who now have their grown children living back home rent free, helping them with their bills as well as other expenses. It's ridiculous. I'm glad my husband and I are child free. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 From an evolutionary point of view, the desire to have children on a personal level and the pressure on a societal level makes sense (excuse the impersonality for a moment) - it's required to further the species. But I feel that we as a species have done a bit too good of a job of furthering ourselves. From an environmental and social perspective (consider resource use, crowding of cities, etc), I don't see it as my duty or feel any pressure to have children, and I completely side with anyone else who feels the same way. So to answer the question partly, I certainly don't think it's that bad at all. Although OP I'm curious about the relationship side of things - are you fully content with being alone? I'm not asking out of judgement, it's just quite rare to see as humans are social creatures and usually need connection. But in the case of strong introverts, I can see how solitude can be highly fulfilling. On a personal note though, there is a part of me that would be happy to have a family, maybe that's just biology kicking in though. And from a practical perspective combined with my own goals in life, the odds are stacked against providing a stable and high quality of life for said children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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