Why Do I feel so bad?

[Start1ngOv3r]

I will apologize in advance for the long post....

 

My girlfriend (now ex) of 2 years made one of those threats of breaking up like she have done a ton of throughout our relationship a few days ago. I was at the point in the relationship where I was ready to go. So she picked a bad time to make the threat. I packed all my things and walked out the door the next morning. She is in her early mid 40's and I'm in my mid 20's..Yes quite the age difference.

 

I helped her take care of her and her children for the past 2 years. I should've saw the warning signs but I truly cared and loved her and her children. I'm not here to bash her but rather here to see how I saw things and some feedback. She has a good heart some is bad at making decisions.

 

The ending point for me wasn't just one thing but rather accumulative of things such as:

 

-I should have took the very first warning sign when we moved in together. She wanted to leave some of her things at her ex when there was clearly enough space at the new place for them. And if she didn't think there was our area have storage units as low as $15 bucks a month so there was no excuse.

 

-As things got further she would bad mouth me to her family and friends. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect but I wouldn't bad mouth her to anyone because she is a reflection of me; so I would look like a dumb ass as well as talking to other about your problems doesn't help.

 

-She stayed out and never came home one night and never came back home until late afternoon the next day. Her excuse was that her "friend" stated that black men cheats so she got upset and stayed with at that friend's house. Two reasons why this got me upset at the time- 1. The "friend" only met me once for a few minutes and know nothing about me and 2. she was generalizing a particular race. The fact that she is suppose to be my girlfriend and have my back when I'm not around listen to a friend that knew nothing about. She later on told me that this same friend cheated on her husband when he was away.

 

-She wanted to keep having dealing with her ex boyfriend when he clearly didn't want us to be together and was trying to screw things up. I have no issues with an ex but when you become a problem and it cross a certain bar I'm not going to put up with it. The fact that she couldn't see this was a problem for me.

 

-She wasn't expecting me a to come home early one night and I caught the ex boyfriend truck in the drive way with her sitting inside of it talking to him. So I asked her about it and her answer didn't make it any better. She said that he just "showed up" and she went outside to talk to him about some issues that she was having with one of her children father. << I found it bad that he felt comfortable to just "show up", I found it bad that instead of telling him to leave you went out and sat in his truck with him and I found it bad that you have me as a boyfriend but felt the need to talk to your ex about a situation that didn't concern him.

 

-She kept a teddy bear from her ex in front of the TV in the bedroom but the one I got her for V-Day was stuffed in the corner. I eventually tossed it out and she didn't even noticed it was gone.

 

-I'm all for co-parenting and have no problems with any of the children fathers. She is close to one of them and that is all good but I wouldn't tolerate him coming in the house unannounced like her lived there. She didn't like me putting my foot down on that issue. which leads me to my next one. Kind of evil but sometimes people have to learn.

 

 

-We agreed to go half and half on the household expenses. It was suppose to be our home but she felt the need to take control of the whole house. She would pack my things up when she was mad, kick me out, change the locks and etc. Eventually when she couldn't pay her half of the household expenses, I didn't pay her half. I had enough money to pay for things when she couldn't but didn't felt that if you wanted to run the roost and act in charge you handle the chips when they're down. I wouldn't help her; eventually got evicted which I wanted --because it made things a lot easier when I wanted to leave. In fact deep down inside I wanted it because it made my departure just that much easier because there was nothing tied to us anymore. She disregard my feelings about the home, made me feel like guest, having her ex over there..I felt no need to pay for something that I wasn't benefiting from. Now she doesn't have a steady home (staying a a rental of a friend) and currently looking for place. She made her bed..... Those same friends and ex and people she tossed me aside for should be able to help her.

 

She had someone who loved and cared for her, had a roof over her head and etc but was too busy to see what she had and took it for granted. She was too busy about chasing other who really don't care for her and lost someone who did. Maybe I was wrong for showering her with too much love and support and it back fired....

 

 

All of this and some how I feel bad because she is in a dilemma such as no vehicle, no place to go and etc. I don't want her back because those feelings are gone.

 

Questions: I feel like she deserved it but why do I feel so bad? Am I wrong for waiting the eviction and not doing anything to stop it? --It seems evil but I wanted it for me and to show her what she had lost.

[preraph]

I'm sorry. This sounds to me like she kind of just took advantage of your good nature. But the whole time, she's trying to get her ex back and he's probably not down for anything long-term with her except sex or he wouldn't be her ex right now. She doesn't sound like she's got her head on straight.

 

I just think maybe you can do better, honestly. I'm sorry you're hurting. Don't let her just use you.