Dutchman1 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Why don't you ask advise from your husband? After all he loves you and made a vow to always have your back. He trusts you, so take a chance and trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoftHeart13 Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 I do plan to tell my husband. He knows I have been upset lately. I just want this all to end. I can’t take the pain and I cannot explain why I have such strong feelings about this man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adotta Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I do plan to tell my husband. He knows I have been upset lately. I just want this all to end. I can’t take the pain and I cannot explain why I have such strong feelings about this man. Telling him will hurt him. BUT it will also show him he can trust you. Emotions are not something we can really control. I would never hate my woman for feeling emotions. I could totally hate her for lying and hiding things from me. It's all about respect and trust. He will be upset that his wife has feelings for another man but your honesty will give him hope to work on it. it should at least. Not every man responds the same but if you believe your husband is a kind and understanding man there is no reason not to tell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchman1 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Dear SoftHeart13, Nobody here thinks about you as a bad woman, or having a character flaw. But it was not a mistake, you crossed a line knowing what you were doing. You made a bad choice. Own it. Feel lucky this has ended. In the end it will make you stronger, certainly when it will give you a handle to look into the dynamics of your marriage. Perhaps you and your husband can become each others Angels again? Perhaps you and your husband need to reevaluate the state of your marriage. All is not lost yet, but to sink into a A, usualy meens that you and your husband don't have the same value or morals in your marriage. Please keep posting, nobody will judge, and maybe you can get help with issues that have been a part of the couse. Just do not give up. be honnest with your self and yor husband. You can do this!! Dutchman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopefulandinlove Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 I do plan to tell my husband. He knows I have been upset lately. I just want this all to end. I can’t take the pain and I cannot explain why I have such strong feelings about this man. Did you tell your husband? Hope it's ok. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Unfortunately, we lost many members, especially new ones, when the site went down. Likely this is one of them. Perhaps only a small sample, less than a dozen, but my good news is every MW I've been involved with or shared intimate knowledge of their actions where they had EA's and not PA's, their marriages survived. The ones which failed have always been PA's. Some did last through a couple PA's, or for years after, but eventually failed. What usually happens is the PA and EA end up running concurrent and apparently husbands can't abide that if known. Fair enough. What has happened in a number of cases I've been personally in is the wives never disclose so any intimacy, no matter how long it went on, years in some cases, didn't really exist. They deny it. The only one who couldn't was the one I sent her love letters to her husband. Still, they were married nearly another decade after that and a couple PA's (not with me). Guys, some anyway, will take a lot of abuse before hitting the eject button. Hopefully things will go well for this M. Link to post Share on other sites
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