My mom wants my sister to visit, but has nothing to say to her!

[Mapper71]

I can’t understand my Mom’s mindset. She has seen my sister twice about 25 years. My sister came up to visit shortly after I graduated college back in 1995 and then again came up for my wedding in 2010. My mom was always upset that she quit college after a year and moved away with a guy she was dating when she was 19 and he was 28. My mom and her used to be pretty close until then. She has never tried to like the guy. They have been married for 35 years now and my mom still doesn’t like to talk about him and avoids saying his name. My sister calls her on Mother’s Day and Christmas and that’s it because she doesn’t like talking to her because it’s hard to have a real conversation with her. All they end up talking about is the weather and what they are watching on tv or something like that. Only talk twice a year and my mom can’t really “talk” to her. Well my mom doesn’t talk about the guy I’m married to either. It’s like she has something against the guys we married but thinks every other guy is great.

 

Well she keeps complaining that my sister will go everywhere but come up and visit her. Well, it’s extremely boring at her house. I visit once a year and just about lose my mind with boredom. My sister doesn’t want to spend her vacation to go up and visit someone who barely speaks to her or gets upset when she and I spend too much time together. My mom complains about my sister never coming up to visit, yet my mom has never been down to visit her.

 

My sister came to visit me for the first time last weekend to go see “Hamilton” with me. I called my mom on Saturday and let her talk to my sister, who didn’t want to talk to her in the first place. Then my mom told me to call back on Sunday to tell her how the show was and didn’t talk to my sister at that time. Then she told me to call her on Monday before I take my sister to the airport so she can talk to her again. My sister can’t understand why our mom makes it seem like this is the ONLY time she can talk to her. My mom never calls her. My sister said the only times she’s called her are on two separate occasions. Once to tell her that someone died and another time to tell her that she was in an accident. Well, my mom won’t call me either as I’m the one who has to call her. She will occasionally call me if she has something to tell me but I immediately call her back so she doesn’t have to spend money on a long distance call since she doesn’t have a cell phone. But it’s almost like she’s afraid to call her because her husband might pick up or something.

 

It’s just so weird. She gets offended that my sister won’t come visit, yet she doesn’t know what to say to her on the phone when they talk twice a year. And she wants her to come visit for a week so they can not talk and my sister can offend her by not eating a banana when she has a banana or by not going to church with her? It was ridiculous when she came up for my wedding. There was the chance to talk to her and she barely spoke to her. She just kept getting offended by anything she would say and then would clam up and act all upset with her.