she left - but will it last?

[lostgirl87]

Well it's a step! Fingers crossed for you and whatever the best outcome is for you!

[pheonixrisen]

Tried to find my old thread but it wasn't turning up in a search.

 

I haven't been updating much because nothing much has been happening, same old stalemate where he's been trying to get her to agree to settle the finances and so on so they can split up amicably and she won't have any of it. This week, suddenly something happened. He came home to find her having a freakout, throwing plates out the front door towards the sidewalk. She screamed at him about how everything was his fault, he was making her crazy, he was a horrible person, he should be in jail. Then she said she never wanted to see him again, grabbed a bag, and stormed out.

 

For the past few days she hasn't come home and she's been refusing to speak to him at all. He checked with her work to be sure she was still coming in and hadn't done anything crazy to herself, but they say she's there, so that's a relief.

 

Considering how volatile she's been I don't trust yet that it's really over. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes home another day to find her sitting at home surrounded by cakes and flowers.

 

But if she stays gone, then it will count as an official separation and he can push forward with the divorce even without her consent.

 

Nothing is changing for our situation, because we have no intention of doing anything until at least the paperwork is in progress. Nobody is celebrating here, not even me. I'm certainly not going to rush over to their house while everyone is so upset. I don't intend to do anything at all, so I'm not really looking for advice. I'm just chronicling this whole crazy journey for posterity and a reminder of the cost of making stupid decisions about your love life.

 

I do remember your story .You had a deadline for Christmas or new year when if he did not leave you were going to walk.

 

She does not sound crazy to me

She is at work

She left .and refuses to talk to him

 

Quite normal reaction for a wife who may have just come across some new info break it plates included !

 

He is running after her and checking up on her .Not she on him .

 

You just might want to consider that the freaky episode you described could be because he told her he is not in contact with you and she just found out he is ...so she got mad (quite fair) and then left .(good on her )

 

It would be fair to say any woman would go crazy if she doubts a on going affair yet Cannot prove it .and then come across some random info ( in your situation it's quite true)as he is in contact with you still.

 

He does not need to settle finances with her ...he could lawyer up .good that she sees she was not delusional ...and even though he did not have the courage to leave him self. She did one good for you and left .

 

But do not be surprised if he is convincing her to come back while giving you a different story .Good luck !

[William]

Noting the thread starter was having difficulty finding their topic in history, moderation can help, and we did merge what we believed was the thread they were looking for, for continuity.

 

Here's the link to their thread list, one found in every member's public profile, under 'statistics':

 

LoveShack.org Community Forums - Search Results

 

ETA that moderator ~T's directive from the past thread continues to apply.

 

Thanks and please continue!

Edited March 24, 2018 by William
Add link to past moderation directive.

[somanymistakes]

To update:

 

So, she did officially move out and has not returned. However, she is not cooperating legally, so the official divorce process is going to be long, slow, and complicated. Since she left, it can be pushed forward even without her consent, but it won't be final for a long time yet.

 

At the same time, she's plastering social media with pictures of every romantic thing they ever did together, full of "hey, remember this?" and getting all her friends to love-heart them. He doesn't really use social media anyway and they're her friends, not his, so it's pretty weak as a guilt-trip. I keep waiting for her to do something ridiculous, but so far nothing worse than calling the house and hanging up. Thank goodness they never had children or she'd be coming back around for the rest of their lives.

 

His family are being surprisingly nice to me all things considered. I'm sure they are probably a little more skeptical in private, but when they're talking to me directly they're saying how glad they are to see me back and how they always thought we would end up together. I keep thinking that if the genders were reversed his father ought to be giving me a stern talking-to and threatening me with dire consequences if I ever hurt him again. I feel like they just expect it's normal for women to do dumb crazy things.

 

He is running after her and checking up on her .Not she on him .

 

Of course he checked up on her, she had previously threatened to harm herself if he left her! It would be irresponsible not to check that she's okay.

 

I don't know whether I should stop reading her social media stuff or not. On the one hand it feels inappropriate and I feel guilty when I do it. She's not my responsibility and her feelings are not my business. On the other hand loveshack is always trying to make me paranoid about whether there's things going on that I don't know about, even though I've never found any sign of my boyfriend lying to me about anything, ever. When people say maybe he's secretly begging her to come back, I can point to her online behavior to say no, she's begging him to come back. Or I could just trust him. He's never given me any reason not to.