AlbChick Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Hello fellow loveshackers, i might seem new here but i am not since i have been lurking the site for a few years now since i was first dumped and reading here has helped me immensely so Thank You.. Anyhow, i am writing here about another problem: Past week I was returning from work by bus, there was a seat free nearby a teenage boy so i sat near him!!Opposite us there were three girls sitting, at the begining i didnt notice them but after a while i see them looking at me and gigling, i think they were mocking at me but i wasnt certain so i said nothing... as we approached my station they started being more obvious and i heard the boy say stop it, its embarrasing!!! Well i get off the bus and they get off too and as they greet each other they again look my way and gigle. This time i looked at them angrily... they parted ways and i noticed one of them heading the same way as me.. i caught on here and asked here what they were laughing at and she immediately said not u and was barely holding her laughter !! I said to her well that’s right because there is nothing about me to be mocked shortie, yeah i insulted her and i am not sorry because the way they made me feel at the bus was horrible..so she turned to look at me with disdain and i ordered her to stop looking at me and keep walking!! That made me feel a little better but still the question remains.. why would they mock me?! What makes ppl do such stupid gestures.. i would never want to make sb feel like they made me feel today... I saw them today too and i think they were laughing at me again but i didnt pay any atrenrion and plainly ignored them!! My question is why people do such things?? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Sorry you experienced this. i don't think there's much to be offered in trying to explain teenage girls. Even when I was a teenage girl, I didn't understand why a lot of my cohort did they things they did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted March 23, 2018 Author Share Posted March 23, 2018 Thank you Basil I would have understood if i was their age and they somehow felt threatened, but i am almost 30 and i was watching my business and this is why i dont get it!! Nonetheless, in addition to ask for advice and see what people think i also wanted to get it off my chest!! .i will keep ignoring them if i see them some other time i guess Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Stupid little bullies showing off for that boy, probably. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 Probably, i thought they might show off too, thanks preraph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 And the boy thought they were obnoxious, so....justice 2 Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 hi albchik, god only knows what they were playing at!!!!! but the fact they are teenage says a lot, I'm not bashing teenagers generally, there are many many mature, good fun, kind mature teenagers out there, but obviously immaturity can be brought out of people in different ways and different situations and they found something in you and latched onto it. they are cowards too which is often a sign of bullying or going along with things because when confronted they don't have the courage to own up to it, you cornered one of them and they had no answer, but at least you got your message over to the girl (and the look of disdain suggests that she did know she was in the wrong and was embarrassed in her own way but as a cool teen with an image to keep up she knew she couldn't really say anything to you because she was probably frightened without her little group to back her up!!!! and so she did the only thing she could do to shoot you a look), so GOOD FOR YOU for you I say, keep these little beggars out of your face (but not in a way that's gonna bring you grief). I'm sure they will probably have re-grouped and communicated that you dared to challenge one of them and it may have re-ignited their stupidity as they don't really have any answers other than to project their undeveloped childish behaviours to taunt you (and again I use the word to describe these people not all teens) their undeveloped know all attitude to criticize anything and everything that doesn't meet with their precious and self-appointed perfect little world or whatever they can manipulate or berate that doesn't fit into what their very changeable latest ideas of cool are. it wouldn't surprise me if they have endless targets throughout the day and not just you....and I bet they also find many of those targets at the weekend when they meet up to go to town and just look for people that don't fit in with their perceptions or of cool, attractive, fashionable whatever. I heard a guy on the bus telling his friend how he used to really mock and bully people who wore white training shoes!!!!!! he really used to be all out for them...and clearly when challenged by his friend years later he admitted and realised how hypocritical that was because now he is not only wearing what he slammed AVIDLY he really sees them as everything now and has been dazzled by a designer pair..so you see, half the time these teens are bending their own rules and changing their boundaries just because they have a fickleness to them and are so easily swayed by peers, reality TV expectations and fantasy lifestyles, not being seen as worthy of their groups and marketing (BIG TIME) and of course they will have a limited experience of life compared to you so are cushioned by how life is and their roles in it often and may not have the responsibility or understanding of a lot of the subtleties of live or social perspectives that adults do. again that not all...but many. if for example you live at home in your teens without that much stress you work or study, you have travel and clothing sorted etc...and if you're the sort that has little empathy, immature, sneering whatever then chances are you are probably going to be trash talking and sneering at someone without a job or someone without a home in filthy clothes because you don't have any concept of the things that may have caused that and the bigger issues behind that situation and favour a shallow judgement quickly... girls are often known for their cruelty in packs and again I am aware there are lots of other factors that are going on for teens at that stage in life (but if that is the sort of personality they have inside them anyway when they are teens in a school type or social gathering), the thing is they were acting in a pack. I don't think your retaliating the way you did is a problem, you didn't harm them physically or make the sort of threats that they could use to bait you or cause you real problems etc; but at the same time you were right to show them they won't get away with treating you in that way. one thing they might have been mocking is the fact that you as an older woman was sitting next to someone their age that they knew! funny...hilarious...(for them yes!!!!!) they are young and the situation has given them something to focus on. will it happen to you again, possibly, will they target others in this irritating and exclusive mocking way very very probably, and should you try to brush these idiots out of your head, yes definitely. they are not worth your emotions, time or thoughts. they will move on to someone else, maybe if you are still bothered by them then step out of their target for a while and they will move on to someone else because until they grow up or meet others who don't encourage them because they are equally as insecure and immature then they are not going to change. unfortunately...it is not only teenagers that can behave in such an immature way, you still get bullying in the workplace, people fighting, showing off and back stabbing for positions or to look cool etc... but to get back to your point: I think initially they mocked you being the older woman next to a much younger man, but now they think they have got to you they will go for you to wind you up because that's all they have. look on the bright side and be grateful you are not also a teenager like them; as if you were not the sort of person that could answer back to them they I suspect they would be making your life hell right now and carry this on at school and beyond; and trying to do it more often. maybe next time if there are 3 of them and no one is sitting next to the 3rd one on the bus...you go up and sit right there next to them and see what happens, it will be a brave teen that starts up, they may laugh initially, but I am sure very soon the feelings of being uncomfortable will quickly set in and they will want to get up away from you in case any of their peers see them sat with someone much older (if they are like they are!!!!) ok, hopefully this will pass over soon. use your age and the knowledge you have to your advantage! maxi. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 Thanks Maxi for your detailed response You are right, they are just teenegers trying to be cool and maybe they are not aware that their behaviour is not as cool as they think!! I was distrubed by this occurence for a few days, but now i am past it... hopefully they will look as good as me when they are my age haha!! Due to some unrelated circumstances ill be taking a different route to work for a week so by then it will all be forgotten hopefully. Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 hi albchick, haha...yes, half of me hopes they (WON'T) look as good as you look when they reach your age, that'll teach em! hahaha.... yes, hopefully it will be long forgotten by the time you get back to your usual routine, but despite it being a thing that happened a while ago and you feel better now; I don't think it was trivial of you to raise this in anyway as it was clearly making you feel uncomfortable at the time. I think the saddest thing of all in situations like this is when you get adults still doing this kind of thing in their 30's and 40's, ..and yes, there are people out there embarrassingly in their middle ages who do STILL behave in this really childish way: and think they are really funny! that's when you come to thinkin jeez....you folks really do need to get a life now and re-educate yourselves a bit. ah well, glad you are feeling better about this, its just a pity you don't have a second job unknown to them as a bus driver!!!! because if you did you could get your own back and really show these little devils a thing or two to keep them on their toes at the next school run!!! ... see ya, good wishes, maxi . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 Haha Good idea about the bus driver job.. Sorry i couldnt reply earlier but i couldnt open the site Its all ok now! I ve seen them a couple times more and i think they are just little insecure creatures who wanted to feel good by belittling others. Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 (edited) The best way to quieten down a group of teenage girls is to totally ignore them. Of course in your situation in the bus, that wasn't really possible. But yeah, any attempt to seek retribution just feeds the fire. Ignore them like they don't exist. Never look at them. I'm guessing your like early 20s or something? I doubt you will be getting bothered by teenagers for much longer. If they do direct at insult at you, I wouldn't have an issue with you being firm and saying something back but I would leave that as a last resort. And yeah, sounds like only reason that issue occurred was because you sat near that boy Edited May 24, 2018 by marky00 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted May 29, 2018 Author Share Posted May 29, 2018 Actually i am late 20s. The thing is i have never had this type of issue before so that is why it bothered me!! Thanks again for the suggestions I am going to keep ignoring them Link to post Share on other sites
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