loveisgrand Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Hi and thanks for reading. I met Eric about a year ago when he needed some help with his project and a mutual friend recommended me. It started off as cooperation on the project, but we very quickly became friends. We are of similar age and education, very similar beliefs and background. I won't lie, I developed a little crush on him. But he seemed slightly off when it came to romance. According to our mutual friend, he never had a girlfriend nor did he ever mention one. He is not giving off a gay vibe but has asked me not to ask him about love. So I gave up. But recently we have been spending so much time together. He is a lot more tactile with me and as we were walking around he stopped to pick a flower and gave it to me. I am also travelling soon and he offered to give me a ride to the airport. He is always there for me and I am sure he would make an excellent boyfriend. He calls me on the phone and talks to me about everything and is very sweet to me - but it is all very platonic. Not sure if I should try to make a move or just let it be. My theory is he is either gay or asexual since he really makes a big deal every time I try to ask him about his love life (he never mentions anything). Any thoughts? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 He has been consistent in his answers about love/relationships/dating. I imagine he doesn't want to change. NEXT!! Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Prob stuck on some chick that blew him off. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 I would not make any moves, especially before you go away. Unless he point blank does something to make you think he wants you as a GF, leave it alone. After all this time you have to conclude he's not interested. If you press it you will lose a friend. He doesn't even trust you enough to talk about romance in general. He's really not interested in having a romance. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 He said no already. As a woman, remember how frustrating it is when you say no to a guy and they ignore it and press for more. NO. He very well may be gay. Gays don't always give off a vibe. He may be crushing on someone else. He may simply not find you at all attractive. He's a friend. If you're not going to get over it, cut him loose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveisgrand Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 He said no already. As a woman, remember how frustrating it is when you say no to a guy and they ignore it and press for more. NO. He very well may be gay. Gays don't always give off a vibe. He may be crushing on someone else. He may simply not find you at all attractive. He's a friend. If you're not going to get over it, cut him loose. I didn't press for anything, he doesn't even know that I had a crush on him. Everyone thinks it is weird he doesn't discuss his love life. He has told me most personal things about his family, work and friends so yeah - it intrigues me why he shuts me down when I try to introduce the topic - very casually. I don't do it all the time, I am just wondering, hence me being here. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 He doesn't want you bringing up romance with him. That says it all. So whether that's because he's gay or because he just isn't attracted, it doesn't matter. It's still no either way. He knows you are crushing on him. It's not hard to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveisgrand Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 He doesn't want you bringing up romance with him. That says it all. So whether that's because he's gay or because he just isn't attracted, it doesn't matter. It's still no either way. He knows you are crushing on him. It's not hard to tell. If he knows I am crushing on him, why does he pick a random flower from the road and gives it to me? That would be considered mix signals at best. I don't think he is aware of anything, this is part of the problem. He just doesn't seem to be aware of sexuality as a term. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 I'd just assume he wants to be nothing more than friends. Although not wanting to talk about love life is interesting - perhaps he finds this a very personal thing for some reason, and it could mean anything. I think you'll just have to wait until he's more comfortable to find out. Either way, this is highly unlikely to progress into a romantic relationship. You'll have to accept him as a friend, or you'll have to see him less often I'm afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 If he knows I am crushing on him, why does he pick a random flower from the road and gives it to me? That would be considered mix signals at best. I don't think he is aware of anything, this is part of the problem. He just doesn't seem to be aware of sexuality as a term. My gay boyfriend bought me a set of dinnerware and got jealous over other men even though we'd never so much as kissed. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 What do you have to lose if you ask him if he has ever thought about going on a date with you? I do think picking you flowers from the road sounds a bit like something a boyfriend would do. Buttt, he doesn't sound like an emotionally available man for whatever reason (gay/asexual/inexperienced/hurt, etc.). I guess the best case scenario is that he's just inexperienced/shy and any overture you make will be well-received. The worst case scenario is that you lose a friendship or it becomes awkward for a while for inquiring. I would ask because that's who I am since I wouldn't want missed chances, but I think most would advise you to leave it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts