OLD review - eharmony sux worse

[nospam99]

I've posted several times about OLD. Here I go again. I wasn't sure whether to post to one of my old OLD (ha-ha) threads, but decided to start a new one in In Search Of... because this is really about customer satisfaction with a BUSINESS that some of you other 'searchers' may consider doing business with.

 

The 'rap' on eharmony has been bad matches: the business picks for you so you can't search on your own, the matches are bad matches (aren't who you're 'looking for'), and the matches don't contact you and don't respond to your attempts to contact them (just like the pick-your-own OLD sites so where's the 'value add' of letting the site do the picking).

 

I'm posting this to add one more reason to look elsewhere for OLD. During our site hiatus, eharmony had a ridiculous 'sale': $6/month for a 3-month account. I figured WTH - if I miraculously got as much as ONE good match it would be money well spent. BUT ... they had updated their software and I can't message my matches with my current computer. Incidentally I am also on POF, OKC, and match and my computer works just fine with all three of them. I'm not about to update any of my software in a questionable attempt to become compatible with the ONE OLD site that suddenly loses a critical functionality. (Wouldn't be the first time a business 'recommended' 'upgraded' software and their service continued to not work. All the customer gets is a worthless apology and a suggestion to try 'just one more' software change.)

 

So there you have it: nospam sez 'stay away from eharmony'. FWIW I keep using POF, OKC, and match, get a 50% response rate (sometimes dips into the high 40s) to my messages, keep meeting women, and keep dating. Still searching for 'the one'.

[d0nnivain]

The only OLD I ever did was e-harmony more then a decade ago. Back then the "sale" was $45 for 3 months. It was usually I think $250 for a year.

 

I was pretty happy with most of the matches they sent me. Everybody was at least good "on paper" -- good jobs, seemed sane (as far as you can tell that from a profile), polite, well educated. The process. . . .going through their stupid steps until you could actually "talk" / exchange phone #s / e-mails was kind of annoying. Remember this was also years before text was a thing; most people had flip phones.

 

Granted I only met 3 men in person & none of them did it for me; 1 was the worst date EVER but I can't fault the service. I felt like a got what I paid for -- "introductions" to quality men. It was months later when I realized (or at least my ego concluded) that at least some of those men had to have done what I did: joined for a short while, then didn't renew. I came to that conclusion over the next 6 months, when they system kept telling me I had new matches. The light finally came on & I realized that e-harmony had to be sending my info to new guys so those men were thinking I was the jerk for not responding when they reached out. Truth was I didn't respond because I was no longer a paid subscriber so I didn't know the men reached out. Hence the scam aspect & yet another reason I'm not a fan of OLD.

 

If you were getting better luck on other sites go back. To some extent it's a numbers game. You have to do multiple things through multiple streams in an effort to meet a quality compatible companion. Happy hunting!

[isolatedgothic]

I have been on eHarmony, on and off, for years. Not once did I meet one person within 30 miles from me. I had a total of 1 date with someone who lived 60 miles from me, but he preferred Asian women, so ...

 

eHarmony is a racket for most of us, I'm afraid.

[Romantic_Antics]

It was the worst site I ever used. I found match.com FAR superior because you could at least initiate contact with whomever you wanted.

[BluEyeL]

Agreed. I used a lot of sites back in my time (dating 5 years ago) and eharmony was the worst!

[SevenCity]

The premise is good on paper. They use their algorithm to match you on a deep compatibility level. However, they do not allow you to select physical parameters.

 

Perhaps shallow, but height/weight are important to most people.

 

I had several dates and a few FB/mini relationships from it but it was by far the worst site I ever used (and I was on for a year).

 

Most of my matches were unattractive (to me) which is a non starter. I answered all 1000 questions (not exaggerating) and it was a complete waste of time.

 

I called customer service to complain about the inability to select at least height for my matches and preferably size. It fell on def ears.

 

I voted with my feet and cancelled after the year was up.

 

I used POF (meh) and Bumble (got a lot of sexual encounters from there) but I heard match is the best out of them.

 

At least they allow you to message direct now. When I first signed up you had to send questions back and forth and graduate to actual communication.

[nospam99]

I used POF (meh) and Bumble (got a lot of sexual encounters from there) but I heard match is the best out of them.

 

Off topic from my OP about eharmony but ...

 

The last four women I've met (dated two including my current dating partner) have been from POF.

 

I'm getting a little annoyed with match because they keep matching me with women who

- haven't logged on in over a month

- or explicitly say in their profiles that they are seeking men taller and younger than I am

- or are younger that what I'm seeking.

Those are non-starters that could easily be avoided by a simple change to the matching algorithm. I've gotten better results on match by searching on my own.

[CrazyKatLady]

I signed up for POF a few days ago, just to use the forums, then realized this one was back up...thank goodness...

my inbox on POF is approaching 500 and after briefly looking through those pics and comments, yikes! Lol.

At least it was good for a laugh.

 

there are some slim pickings down south, but I plan on going out in person (packing OLD away) and hanging with family this summer anyways. I came, I saw, I conquered. Now it's time to move on. It never hurts (for long) to try new things. I even look forward to meeting new men now, which is a good feeling. Hope your luck improves, I guess we just have to find a method of madness that works best for each of us...it's a learning process...give it time!

[nospam99]

my inbox on POF is approaching 500 and after briefly looking through those pics and comments, yikes! Lol.

 

My eharmony thread continues to veer off into POF. But YIKES!. Thanks for sharing that, Crazy. I've heard women complain about being overwhelmed on OLD but I don't recall seeing a number before. 500 is intimidating. As a guy off and on several services, I don't think my 'inbox' has hit 100 in eight months. And all but a half dozen (at most) of those were 'undesirable'. I suppose though if I was a woman looking for a relationship I'd be willing to slog through those 500 messages - and I'd hide my profile until I was done.

[max3732]

Eharmony has been a disaster for me as well. I signed up for a year and only met 3 women in person. There were very few meeting my criteria and almost none of them respond. When I first signed up it was my 1st time trying OLD and I was so excited when I'd see an attractive woman with similar interests/education level that seemed like a good match. I'd message them and...nothing.

 

Sometimes I'd get a response to some questions, but then nothing. Other times we'd get through all the questions and eventually I'd ask to meet up and...nothing.

 

Match hasn't been any better, but I haven't been on it for very long.

 

Maybe I should give POF a try.

[nospam99]

Match hasn't been any better, but I haven't been on it for very long.

 

Maybe I should give POF a try.

 

This thread is indeed becoming less about eharmony and more about OLD generally.

 

As the OLD 'fanboy', I'll point out:

- POF is free. Match charges you to send messages. Both allow useful 'extra' functions if you pay more.

- Both POF and Match have the (HUGE) advantage over eharmony that you can do your own searches.

- I found it took me some learning time to find the most useful-to-me features to help me look for compatible women

 

On POF I took the relationship and chemistry surveys because POF says taking them helps. I have no way to verify that claim but I did the surveys anyway. I like the UltraMatch tool. The result list is already supposedly based on the surveys sorted by compatibility. You can customize that list by age, distance, and most recent activity. POF also has a Search tool that I don't use much which doesn't include compatibility as a criteria

 

On Match I filled in 'most' of the sections of my profile. I like the Discover/Search tool. The result set is sorted by a customizable criteria. I like to sort by Mutual Match which is supposedly based on a comparison of your profile with those of the women (or men for those of 'different' desires). The list is further customizable by age range, distance, and dozens of filters. I filter on whether the woman has photos, her claimed body type (photos weed out many of the liars), height, and smoking behavior but there are dozens more. The match list (almost 500 women long for me even after customization and filters) displays a photo, photo count, age, location, and most recent activity. The bad news about the list is well more than half of my hits are women that have not been online in over a month so whittle that 500 down to about 250. Also remember Match charges all users to send messages. I have no way of knowing how many of those 250 'active' women have paid to be able to message me back if I message them. But for a few of my dollars more, I can pay their messaging fee.

 

There you go - more of a tutorial than I set out to write. But heck - I'm dateless on a Friday night (unlike last weekend) so I thought I'd write it.