Loss of a mother and unstable love

[Steeb41]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm just using to vent my frustration and possibly find some advice.

 

Last summer I lost my dear momma, and during the quiet times in my life I feel I still have a very hard time coping with it. I'm not pushing it away, but I'm dancing around the dark feelings that overwhelm me when I'm taking the time to confront them.

 

So basically I'm a really unstable individual at the moment. Although I might not always show it, I feel it, really hard at times.

 

Recently this girl moved into my house (cohousing) and into my life. I'm not easily falling in love, but she caught me completely by surprise. She's been living here close to a month now. And I already feel I'm starting to obsess about what I feel for her. We have a certain undeniable connection, I'm sure we both feel it. But I can't crawl into her head and feel what she feels. I can tell she's searching for what she wants in life and what she wants in a man.

 

At this moment she's lying in bed under my room with a suitor that's she's been dating for a while now. I'm heartbroken, not because she broke my heart, but because I am allowing myself to spiral out of control at a point in my life where stability is the my one and only saviour.

 

Anyway, back to basics, how does one cope with falling in love with a roommate. I feel like if I don't tell her something about whats brewing inside me soon that I'm about to explode. Should I communicate it? Should I tell her I will be acting more distant to save myself the sorrow of failed love and save her the company of an out of control roommate? Or should I find stability in other things and work towards her with patience. And for once in my life go after something I want, I need, I love.

 

Thanks in advance.

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry about your mom's death. May is particularly difficult. I hide from Mother's Day because it hurts too much.

 

Her passing will have you off your game for a while.

 

However, dating a house mate is bad news. Dating one who has a BF is a recipe for disaster.

 

You are not in love with this woman. You barely know her.

 

Push yourself. Get out there. Meet new people.

[preraph]

If anything was going to happen between you two, it already would have. I know you're sad about your mom. So sorry about that. It weakens you and makes it harder to deal with the rest of life, I get that. I just think you have to accept that your roommate is interested in dating other guys and not you.

 

You are only focused on her because she is THERE. That's how a lot of guys are. They fall for whoever they have repeated contact with. You need to start going out and doing things with friends and forget about her. Eventually, you'll meet someone else. Don't let the depression get you. You need to fight it by getting busy socially. Good luck.

[coolheadal]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm just using to vent my frustration and possibly find some advice.

 

Last summer I lost my dear momma, and during the quiet times in my life I feel I still have a very hard time coping with it. I'm not pushing it away, but I'm dancing around the dark feelings that overwhelm me when I'm taking the time to confront them.

 

So basically I'm a really unstable individual at the moment. Although I might not always show it, I feel it, really hard at times.

 

Recently this girl moved into my house (cohousing) and into my life. I'm not easily falling in love, but she caught me completely by surprise. She's been living here close to a month now. And I already feel I'm starting to obsess about what I feel for her. We have a certain undeniable connection, I'm sure we both feel it. But I can't crawl into her head and feel what she feels. I can tell she's searching for what she wants in life and what she wants in a man.

 

At this moment she's lying in bed under my room with a suitor that's she's been dating for a while now. I'm heartbroken, not because she broke my heart, but because I am allowing myself to spiral out of control at a point in my life where stability is the my one and only saviour.

 

Anyway, back to basics, how does one cope with falling in love with a roommate. I feel like if I don't tell her something about whats brewing inside me soon that I'm about to explode. Should I communicate it? Should I tell her I will be acting more distant to save myself the sorrow of failed love and save her the company of an out of control roommate? Or should I find stability in other things and work towards her with patience. And for once in my life go after something I want, I need, I love.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

I've lost my mother as well I know what your going through my friend. This girl is not your girl friend she has boyfriend. Not going to happen the way you want. You''ll get love from another girl but you need time to cope with your own self first. Do not look for some one just now wait until you feel 100% again. Lost of your mom is tough, takes time to adjust.