Does your MM spend time with you outside the bedroom?

[anika99]

How in the world can sex is the bushes be the best sex you've ever had? Thinking back to my last long term relationship I remember us spending hours in a bed, with space to spread out and total privacy to indulge and enjoy. Sunday mornings we would wake up and make love, then make coffee and bring it back to bed to spend more time making love, kissing, talking, laughing. Then around noon we'd get into the shower together and make our plans for the day.

 

That sex just left me feeling deliciously good. I wasn't just sexually satisfied, I was also emotionally and mentally satisfied. Felt good all over, inside and out. A raunchy roll in the bushes might be okay once in a blue moon, just for a thrill, but if that's all that was on offer no way would I consider that good sex, certainly not the best sex. Good sex is supposed to make you feel good in every way. It should put a smile on your face every time you think about it. It should in no way leave you feeling empty, hurt or used. I love sex and love but I would rather be single and masturbate then have sex with someone who has none of the other good stuff to offer.

 

As I said before, you are the booty call. Nothing wrong with that if that's all you want to be but if you want more (and it certainly sounds like you do) then why are you settling. This is what it means to take responsibility for your own happiness. He is married (or common law) and he has no obligation to you regarding your happiness. If this arrangement doesn't make you happy then the onus is on you to change it. It's your life and you can make what you want of it. If you choose to spend your one and only life pining and waiting on some cheater who is only using you then that is nobody's choice but yours.

[Mizz Layta]

How in the world can sex is the bushes be the best sex you've ever had? Thinking back to my last long term relationship I remember us spending hours in a bed, with space to spread out and total privacy to indulge and enjoy. Sunday mornings we would wake up and make love, then make coffee and bring it back to bed to spend more time making love, kissing, talking, laughing. Then around noon we'd get into the shower together and make our plans for the day.

 

That sex just left me feeling deliciously good. I wasn't just sexually satisfied, I was also emotionally and mentally satisfied. Felt good all over, inside and out. A raunchy roll in the bushes might be okay once in a blue moon, just for a thrill, but if that's all that was on offer no way would I consider that good sex, certainly not the best sex. Good sex is supposed to make you feel good in every way. It should put a smile on your face every time you think about it. It should in no way leave you feeling empty, hurt or used. I love sex and love but I would rather be single and masturbate then have sex with someone who has none of the other good stuff to offer.

 

As I said before, you are the booty call. Nothing wrong with that if that's all you want to be but if you want more (and it certainly sounds like you do) then why are you settling. This is what it means to take responsibility for your own happiness. He is married (or common law) and he has no obligation to you regarding your happiness. If this arrangement doesn't make you happy then the onus is on you to change it. It's your life and you can make what you want of it. If you choose to spend your one and only life pining and waiting on some cheater who is only using you then that is nobody's choice but yours.

 

Well we sometimes have sex in his or my car when the weather is bad and he always try to help me reach orgasm.My previous sexual partners never cares if I orgasm or not.He always talks about how much he would love to make love to me the whole day when he comes over at my place but then the plans keep falling through because of work reasons( legit or not)There's always an excuse or "next time.

 

The truth is I want more, I want to be able to go on dates and connect with someone emotionally and mentally, not just physically.

 

I feel like I was in denial about the situation for while given he has taken up my time under false pretenses. Now the reality of being the other woman has finally caught with me and I do feel like I've been settling. You're right ,I'm the only one that can get myself out of this slump

[donotmicrowave]

Well we sometimes have sex in his or my car when the weather is bad and he always try to help me reach orgasm.My previous sexual partners never cares if I orgasm or not.He always talks about how much he would love to make love to me the whole day when he comes over at my place but then the plans keep falling through because of work reasons( legit or not)There's always an excuse or "next time.

 

The truth is I want more, I want to be able to go on dates and connect with someone emotionally and mentally, not just physically.

 

I feel like I was in denial about the situation for while given he has taken up my time under false pretenses. Now the reality of being the other woman has finally caught with me and I do feel like I've been settling. You're right ,I'm the only one that can get myself out of this slump

 

If you want more, the smartest thing would be to find someone who actually wants to be yours and is not married.

 

I'm a young one myself, but my mother has ruined all of our lives because she couldn't keep her hands away from a man, my dad's best friend, who's married. You can do the right thing at any time and end it.

Edited May 23, 2018 by donotmicrowave

[kaylenew]

im a married woman who was with a single guy for awhile. the first time we went to a hotel. subsequently he did not want to splurge on a room and suggested places like a handicapped/wheelchair toilet or a deserted place like a mall's staircase. i dumped him.

[darkmoon]

he was too scared of being seen out with you, tell or ask him to come back divorced, no need to be a side-piece, you are missing out

[BaileyB]

im a married woman who was with a single guy for awhile. the first time we went to a hotel. subsequently he did not want to splurge on a room and suggested places like a handicapped/wheelchair toilet or a deserted place like a mall's staircase. i dumped him.

 

Good for you. Wow! This guy had no shame...

[Fluffkitteh]

Why should he? He's not your boyfriend..you're not in a real relationship.

[MissBee]

Darling girl, a relationship with a man who will only meet you for sex during work hours in the bushes is not going to turn meaningful... This is about sex, when and where it's convenient for HIM. Nothing more.

 

You have a big decision to make. You have wasted a year of your life, how much more time are you going to waste on this man...

 

I agree.

 

Nothing meaningful is conducted in this way and it is highly unlikely it will become meaningful. It's just sex, and you've made it very convenient for him and he will not transform into seeing you as a serious partner.

 

I mean, yes it's an affair, which itself has a ton of limitations and compartmentalizing and most don't ever transform into open relationships, but some affairs do have love and care and more respect or willingness at least to make the person feel special or they do see each other and hang out and do other things that show the person is valued beyond bush sex on delivery. Don't get me wrong, wining and dining doesn't mean all is well either....you can be wined and dined and still be in a situation where, as affairs go, it's still imbalanced, unequal or selfish but I guess at minimum, choose a struggle or inconvenience. It's better to be wined and dined and treated well in the limited capacity the A has than to be dealing with the limited capacity and also not have anything at all to show for it.