oh confusing ex....

[mustangsally]

Well, here's the short of it. My ex broke up with me a while ago because he got very scared of how serious our relationship was (we were each other's first loves). I also was very sick, which he didn't know and there was a lot of miscommunication. He still wanted to remain friends and prided himself on being that guy that is friends with all of his exes. I said I needed time, but yes I could again.

 

Anyway, a lot of time passes by and I realize this break-up was good. I end up seeing two different guys who are not good for me, but I'm working on it and moving forward. Life will happen how its supposed to.

 

Now the ex and me are thrust into a situation where we have to see each other every day. I talked to him a little bit as a precursor to the situation, and I told him repeatedly I was glad we broke up only because I grew and changed so much. He just said "Oh...." or in some cases ignored that statement completely. At the beginning of the break-up if I said anything like that, he would get really, really glad that we were on "the same page." Now I'm met with silence. He talks to me about everything ELSE but that. I haven't brought it up again because maybe its a touchy subject?

 

I've talked to other people and expressed how good the break-up was, not because he's a bad person, but because its allowed me to grow and change in ways I never would have when he was in my life. I have expressed nothing but being completely over it to anyone who would relay any information. I'm not completely over it and of course I still have feelings for him because he was my first love and always will be....buuuut...that's just the way it works out. I'm not ruling it out forever...just not for now. Right now I'm in a good place.

 

So I saw him the first day. The last time I saw him, he totally ignored me and looked very weepy. I saw him a couple days ago for the first time in months and he was VERY cheerful and SO happy to see me. Almost flirty. I was kind of confused by that. Every time he saw me he was very, very happy to see me and he intro'd himself to all of my friends, etc. and was being just generally nice.

 

So then, one of our friends invites us to spend the night at his house. I said okay that I was fine with it because I'm over it (not using those words, but that I was fine with it if my ex was) and my friend said if we were both over each other and stuff then there would be no problem. So I asked to check with him first. I get a call back 10 minutes later telling me the trip is off....but there's a raincheck with just me and our mutual friend. I don't think he talked to my ex, but I think he talked to a really good friend of my ex who he often talks to. I've never said anything to allude to the fact that I'm not over him to this girl...AT ALL. So there would be no reason for weirdness on my end.

 

Something happned that night and I texted my ex to see if he wanted to hang out....because afterall he does want to be friends, right? He wants to remain friends with ALLLL his exes. He didn't respond, so I figured he didn't get the message. So I called him and he picked up right away and said he got the message, but sounded weird skittish and nervous and just downright weird as heck on the phone, but he said he couldn't go because he was going out with my friend, when I was told the trip was cancelled. So...okay...weirdness.

 

So what the hell? If this guy expressly said "I want to be friends." dated another girl in between, knows I've been with two other guys and knows...REALLY knows I don't want him back as I feel I've expressed myself clearly....then why can't he hang out with me? All of my friends say its because he still has feelings for me and thinks I've moved on so he wants to try to move on himself...but then some people are like "No, if he had feelings for you he would want you there.".....but then if he's well aware i've moved on and wants to be friends, then what's the dealio? I wouldn't have gone if I still had feelings for him to be honest....not at all. But since I don't, its fine.

 

I was told "Oh, sometimes guys don't know what their ex feels and doesn't want to lead them on." And that's valid, if I had done ANYTHING indicitive of not being over him or told ANYONE we were close to i wasn't over him, which I totally 100% haven't done, in fact the opposite.

 

So if he's moved on and doesn't care, then why can't he just hang out with me?