Not sure how to respond to this email

[Pamela]

When I was living in Paris last year alone (I had separated from my husband) I had an English friend who was a professional photographer mainly specializing in erotic photos.

 

A year before when I was desperate to earn some extra money I had answered his add looking for nude models in an newspaper. We got along quite well at the first meeting for coffee at a cafe where he invited me even though we had both agreed that I should loose a bit of weight if I wanted to have serious work modeling (I had done it before in my eary 20s)He turned out to be quite an interesting, intelligent guy and we become sporadic friends who met the odd time over a drink to chat.

 

Last February when I was in Paris for about a month re-organizing boxes of stuff I had in three different places I met this guy once for coffee and we caught up on the events that had taken place in our lives. He had told me that if I needed a place to stay I could stay at his place for a couple of days(I was staying with a different friend every week)but then when I called him up a few days before I was supposed to go there he told he was sorry and couldn't put me up because his girlfriend had come. I didn't think much of it, and quickly found another solution with another friend.

 

Since I've been back here James and I have emailed each other about three times just catching up with the latest events, ect.

 

Two weeks ago James wrote:

 

Dear Pamela. The last time you were in Paris I thought that if you stayed with me we would end up being lovers. At the time this English girl came into my life really fast, but now she is very much part of my past. I think you and I could have had a wonderful time together. If you come to Paris we must meet.

 

James

 

Not knowing what to say, I didn't respond.

 

Today he wrote me another email asking whether I was going to respong to the last one and if he had surprized me.

 

Now I don't know what to write because I used to talk to him like one of my "buddies" telling him about all my personal life. Now I don't know what to do. It is a possibility that I could be attracted to him, but we have never really spent much time together as friends and I don't really know him that well to be able to tell him how I feel in that regard. I'm afraid to loose the friendship if I start writing differently. What should I do? How should I respond without sounding cold?

[Miss Mojo]

hi pamela,

 

i feel the best thing in this situation is to tell him exactly what you wrote at the end of the post....tell him it's a possibility that you could be attracted to him, but you'd need to get to know him on a different level if there's any possibility of things working out. if his feelings are genuine for you, he will understand this and be patient with you.

 

just make sure that you are both wanting the same thing out any relationship that may develop, and that if you do want to be with him, that the two of you are getting together for the right reasons. that way, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt or any bad blood developing between the two of you is significantly minimised.

 

somehow i don't feel i've been much help here, but that's only what i would do if i were in your shoes. he's pretty much thrown the ball in your court, and it's now up to you, if you feel you would like to pursue anything with him. just tell him exactly how you feel, even if you are unsure, and let things flow naturally from there. like i said, if he respects your feelings, he will accept whatever you have to say.

 

good luck!!

 

When I was living in Paris last year alone (I had separated from my husband) I had an English friend who was a professional photographer mainly specializing in erotic photos. A year before when I was desperate to earn some extra money I had answered his add looking for nude models in an newspaper. We got along quite well at the first meeting for coffee at a cafe where he invited me even though we had both agreed that I should loose a bit of weight if I wanted to have serious work modeling (I had done it before in my eary 20s)He turned out to be quite an interesting, intelligent guy and we become sporadic friends who met the odd time over a drink to chat. Last February when I was in Paris for about a month re-organizing boxes of stuff I had in three different places I met this guy once for coffee and we caught up on the events that had taken place in our lives. He had told me that if I needed a place to stay I could stay at his place for a couple of days(I was staying with a different friend every week)but then when I called him up a few days before I was supposed to go there he told he was sorry and couldn't put me up because his girlfriend had come. I didn't think much of it, and quickly found another solution with another friend. Since I've been back here James and I have emailed each other about three times just catching up with the latest events, ect. Two weeks ago James wrote: Dear Pamela. The last time you were in Paris I thought that if you stayed with me we would end up being lovers. At the time this English girl came into my life really fast, but now she is very much part of my past. I think you and I could have had a wonderful time together. If you come to Paris we must meet. James Not knowing what to say, I didn't respond.

 

Today he wrote me another email asking whether I was going to respong to the last one and if he had surprized me. Now I don't know what to write because I used to talk to him like one of my "buddies" telling him about all my personal life. Now I don't know what to do. It is a possibility that I could be attracted to him, but we have never really spent much time together as friends and I don't really know him that well to be able to tell him how I feel in that regard. I'm afraid to loose the friendship if I start writing differently. What should I do? How should I respond without sounding cold?