His wife found out and he suddenly abandoned me.I am heart broken.... ....

[BluesPower]

yes, i too think that when they get caught, they tend to throw the AP under the bus and beg forgiveness from the wife.i guess a MM's feelings are complicated. if he was in love with the wife, he wouldn't cheat (?) and yet, when they get caught they act like the affair partner means "nothing" to them.... baffling...

 

This is what you need to understand...

 

You just wrote it yourself but in your heart you cannot except it.

 

He loves his wife, and he wants to stay with her. That is the bottom line, and almost no one involved in an affair wants to accept it.

 

You know you need to accept it, right???

[pepperbird]

yes, i too think that when they get caught, they tend to throw the AP under the bus and beg forgiveness from the wife.i guess a MM's feelings are complicated. if he was in love with the wife, he wouldn't cheat (?) and yet, when they get caught they act like the affair partner means "nothing" to them.... baffling...

 

 

You are trying to apply logic to an illogical situation.

 

 

The reality is that, at least for the point of time that the mm is cheating, he feels entitled to hurt others so long as he gets what he feels he deserves. If that means he has to hurt his wife and ow to get it, well, that's just what he's going to do.

 

I don't mean that mm are some sort of evil, Machiavellian little beasts out to cause as much pain as possible, it's just that they are acting in a very self centered way.

[Overtaxed]

You are trying to apply logic to an illogical situation.

 

 

The reality is that, at least for the point of time that the mm is cheating, he feels entitled to hurt others so long as he gets what he feels he deserves. If that means he has to hurt his wife and ow to get it, well, that's just what he's going to do.

 

I don't mean that mm are some sort of evil, Machiavellian little beasts out to cause as much pain as possible, it's just that they are acting in a very self centered way.

 

Actually, I don't think you need to go that far. An A is an entirely logical choice for some MM; a terrible choice, and the wrong choice, but, logical. Most men enjoy sex a lot, and many men don't get the amount of sex they want in their marriage. An A is an easy way to get more sex. Easier, in many cases, than having the hard conversations with the W. And much easier than getting a D.

 

Getting that sex will often take some lying, but it's lying to a person you don't really care about (the AP). It's usually not expensive, and, often times, the sex is pretty kinky/amazing in an A.

 

It's entirely logical to go from "I'm sexually frustrated" to an A. Because sexual frustration will be solved, most of the time, by an A. Lots of sex, kinky sex, sex with someone new. Those are all things that an A actually does bring to the wayward spouse.

 

Now, people having A's for love? There's no logic there, A's almost never end well, and they are usually based nearly 100% on the dynamic of "man says whatever woman needs to hear, sex ensues". That's not a basis for love, it's a basis to be a Pez dispenser, the man dropping a line on demand, the woman dropping her panties on demand.

[bathtub-row]

yes, i too think that when they get caught, they tend to throw the AP under the bus and beg forgiveness from the wife.i guess a MM's feelings are complicated. if he was in love with the wife, he wouldn't cheat (?) and yet, when they get caught they act like the affair partner means "nothing" to them.... baffling...

 

This is where your own thinking is misleading you. You think it’s a black-and-white issue. It isn’t. There are plenty of men who love their wives deeply yet they cheat on them. The problem is, you’re so wrapped up in the rationale behind this situation, you can’t see the forest for the trees. Women invariably underestimate the lengths men will go to to have sex or conquer a female. The woman thinks those efforts actually mean something - even when the facts tell them a different story - and it ultimately makes them victims.

 

You’re wasting your life on this man and allowing him to steal away precious years. It would serve you much better to walk away, heal, and then find an available man to love.

[stillafool]

I don’t know of any BW that would say to the OW, “yes, it’s true, I’m only with him for the kids / his money / the lifestyle, you go ahead and have him” even if it is true. More likely she will be dog in a manger and decide that even if she doesn’t want him (beyond his money / presence in the house to fix things / reputation/ etc) you’re not getting him either.

 

But it isn't up to her, is it? It is up to him to decide that he loves the OW enough to leave his wife. Still, she should ask his wife for confirmation of what he said. Most OW are too cowardly for that.

[pepperbird]

But it isn't up to her, is it? It is up to him to decide that he loves the OW enough to leave his wife. Still, she should ask his wife for confirmation of what he said. Most OW are too cowardly for that.

 

 

This is what some tend to forget. If a man or woman has enough free will to have an affair, they can have enough free will to leave the marriage they blame it on in the first place.Whether this is because they truly love their spouse, they are a coward, they are unable to act without a strong outside influence or there is some other reason they don't leave will depend upon the individual. Whatever that reason may be, it is stronger than the feelings for their ow.

[Overtaxed]

There are plenty of men who love their wives deeply yet they cheat on them. The problem is, you’re so wrapped up in the rationale behind this situation, you can’t see the forest for the trees. Women invariably underestimate the lengths men will go to to have sex or conquer a female.

 

Not only does this "happen", in my admittedly limited experience, this is always the case. The men I know who've had or are having an A, it's never that they don't "love" (whatever that means to them) their wives. They sit and talk nicely about their wives all the time. They just want more sex, or sex with someone new. And they go to ridiculous lengths to get it, including, at least some of them, destroying everything they love (wife, family, finances, home, etc) to get that sex.

 

A lot of women spend much time thinking "He wouldn't do this just for sex" and "this proves he loves me". Well, let me tell you, he will, and it doesn't. Men will go to unbelievable lengths to get sex, and it's immensely valuable to many of us. So, yes, he'll risk his wife and family for an orgasm, 1000's of guys are doing just that, right now, as I type this message.

 

Men and women just don't understand each others viewpoint on this at all. Sex is pretty much freely available for most women; they just have to ask. It's nice, of course, but it's not rare at all, pretty much every woman on this board could be having sex with someone new within an hour of reading this message. It's not that way for men, not at all. Women are "rich" in sexual opportunity and men are poor. Couple that with the fact that men are very often dying to be "rich" where many women aren't all that concerned with their bank account (sexual options), and you have the perfect storm.

 

Summed up, yes, men will destroy their lives just for an orgasm. It happens every day. It often times has nothing at all to do with the OW other than she was the first one to say yes. And for a man on the hunt for an AP, there are always "others"; you're not the first one he's tried to sleep with in most cases, and you may not even be the first he succeeds with.

[bathtub-row]

Not only does this "happen", in my admittedly limited experience, this is always the case. The men I know who've had or are having an A, it's never that they don't "love" (whatever that means to them) their wives. They sit and talk nicely about their wives all the time. They just want more sex, or sex with someone new. And they go to ridiculous lengths to get it, including, at least some of them, destroying everything they love (wife, family, finances, home, etc) to get that sex.

 

A lot of women spend much time thinking "He wouldn't do this just for sex" and "this proves he loves me". Well, let me tell you, he will, and it doesn't. Men will go to unbelievable lengths to get sex, and it's immensely valuable to many of us. So, yes, he'll risk his wife and family for an orgasm, 1000's of guys are doing just that, right now, as I type this message.

 

Men and women just don't understand each others viewpoint on this at all. Sex is pretty much freely available for most women; they just have to ask. It's nice, of course, but it's not rare at all, pretty much every woman on this board could be having sex with someone new within an hour of reading this message. It's not that way for men, not at all. Women are "rich" in sexual opportunity and men are poor. Couple that with the fact that men are very often dying to be "rich" where many women aren't all that concerned with their bank account (sexual options), and you have the perfect storm.

 

Summed up, yes, men will destroy their lives just for an orgasm. It happens every day. It often times has nothing at all to do with the OW other than she was the first one to say yes. And for a man on the hunt for an AP, there are always "others"; you're not the first one he's tried to sleep with in most cases, and you may not even be the first he succeeds with.

 

I agree with most of what you say. However, I would suggest that it’s not just about the orgasm. I believe men love to pursue as much as they love sex, and women love to be chased. This “game” between the sexes - which is really quite fun - gets lost to a degree once people marry and some find this very hard to deal with.

 

It’s a matter of wanting both worlds - the security of marriage and the thrill of the chase. And that thrill, that adrenaline rush of having a girlfriend again, of not knowing if she’s going to wise up and dump him, juggling more than one woman—all of that can be exhilarating to a man. He also prides himself on getting her to abandon her common sense because he’s so devastatingly irresistible. And it’s this endless rush from all those things that keeps the fuel burning.

[Overtaxed]

I agree with most of what you say. However, I would suggest that it’s not just about the orgasm. I believe men love to pursue as much as they love sex, and women love to be chased. This “game” between the sexes - which is really quite fun - gets lost to a degree once people marry and some find this very hard to deal with.

 

It’s a matter of wanting both worlds - the security of marriage and the thrill of the chase. And that thrill, that adrenaline rush of having a girlfriend again, of not knowing if she’s going to wise up and dump him, juggling more than one woman—all of that can be exhilarating to a man. He also prides himself on getting her to abandon her common sense because he’s so devastatingly irresistible. And it’s this endless rush from all those things that keeps the fuel burning.

 

I agree with you, it's not just the orgasm; but without the sex, I firmly believe that very, very few men would ever consider/engage in an A. Guys generally hate being "besties" with a woman, there are a whole bunch of negative names for this, but, most of all "emotional tampon" is the most common and the best description to me.

 

The last part, for sure. I know it was a big part of the chase for me. When a girl told me "I never date guys like you", I took it as a challenge. And got a huge ego boost when I got her clothes off. Getting her to abandon her "values" just for sex with me, sad as it sounds, was a big turn on. I can only imagine how hard that runs in an A, this woman is literally willing to lose everything for my d**k? It has to be a huge ego trip for a man, even though, in most cases, it's not even a little bit true. She's willing to lose everything for something that simply doesn't make any sense at all to me, or IMHO, many other guys. She'll throw it all away to have you tell her she's pretty.

[abandoned2018]

i have talked about stopping the A... he refused... and i have talked with him about him leaving her. that is not going to happen too... and i am sitting here .... dying inside... thinking about what he is doing with her.... talking with her... kissing her... hugging her... massaging her... complimenting her... cooking food with her.... sleeping together.... things i want him to do only with me... sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it? am i not worth enough for a man to love and want only me and have the fear of losing me and have the desire to make me his..."

[bathtub-row]

So what if he refuses? Does he have you locked in the attic?

 

You’re never going to get the things you want from this guy. I hope you wake up to that fact before he completely steals your life away.

[Overtaxed]

sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it? am i not worth enough for a man to love and want only me and have the fear of losing me and have the desire to make me his..."

 

Yes, you do deserve it. You are worth it. But you're looking in the one place (with married men) where your almost certain NOT to get it. You willingly took the role of AP, and that role means, by definition, that you won't be the "only love" in that person's life.

 

Let me draw you analogy. Imagine if you're dying for a great steak. You deserve a great steak. You have the money, you've earned it, and you're dressed to the nines ready for a fantastic meal. And here you are, in the line at Burger King, upset that you can't get an aged filet. Throwing a tantrum because they don't have the food you want there. Well, that's NOT WHAT THEY SERVE there. They have these commercials that show great food, and it looks awesome on the billboard, but everyone knows, they serve cheap and fast food there, not aged filet. Across the street there's a Capital Grille, which has some of the best steaks in the country. And you're standing the in the BK parking lot throwing a fit.

 

You need to drive to the other side of the street. Get out of the drive thru line (affair partner/OW) and walk up to the hostess and get yourself a pressed white cloth table (a husband). Your looking for something that doesn't exist where your shopping and mad that you can't buy what you want when the store that sells it is right next door. No, you're not going to get love/respect/caring from an A. You'll get "pictures" of it (like the menu in BK), but that's not what A's are "selling". They are selling hot sex and kind words. If that's not what you want, get out of the line and go the place that sells what you want, don't get mad that the fast food line doesn't have Kobe beef on the menu!

[bathtub-row]

Yes, you do deserve it. You are worth it. But you're looking in the one place (with married men) where your almost certain NOT to get it. You willingly took the role of AP, and that role means, by definition, that you won't be the "only love" in that person's life.

 

Let me draw you analogy. Imagine if you're dying for a great steak. You deserve a great steak. You have the money, you've earned it, and you're dressed to the nines ready for a fantastic meal. And here you are, in the line at Burger King, upset that you can't get an aged filet. Throwing a tantrum because they don't have the food you want there. Well, that's NOT WHAT THEY SERVE there. They have these commercials that show great food, and it looks awesome on the billboard, but everyone knows, they serve cheap and fast food there, not aged filet. Across the street there's a Capital Grille, which has some of the best steaks in the country. And you're standing the in the BK parking lot throwing a fit.

 

You need to drive to the other side of the street. Get out of the drive thru line (affair partner/OW) and walk up to the hostess and get yourself a pressed white cloth table (a husband). Your looking for something that doesn't exist where your shopping and mad that you can't buy what you want when the store that sells it is right next door. No, you're not going to get love/respect/caring from an A. You'll get "pictures" of it (like the menu in BK), but that's not what A's are "selling". They are selling hot sex and kind words. If that's not what you want, get out of the line and go the place that sells what you want, don't get mad that the fast food line doesn't have Kobe beef on the menu!

 

Capital Grille? You must be in Austin.

 

Excellent, excellent analogy!!!

[BaileyB]

sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it?”

 

Yes, you deserve that.

 

The person who does not understand that you deserve these things is YOU, because you continue to settle for a man who can not give you what you want!

 

HE IS NOT YOURS TO KEEP!

 

The sooner that you accept the reality of the situation, the better it will be for you. Stop throwing a tantrum in the Burger King parking lot because you want, you expect, something that is not possible! That is an excellent analogy - you must leave and drive across the bloody street to get what you want! You won’t find what you want if you continue to stay where you are... I hope you don’t waste any more time than you already have...

Edited June 14, 2018 by BaileyB

[BluesPower]

i have talked about stopping the A... he refused... and i have talked with him about him leaving her. that is not going to happen too... and i am sitting here .... dying inside... thinking about what he is doing with her.... talking with her... kissing her... hugging her... massaging her... complimenting her... cooking food with her.... sleeping together.... things i want him to do only with me... sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it? am i not worth enough for a man to love and want only me and have the fear of losing me and have the desire to make me his..."

 

Please listen to someone who knows... All those thing that you ask about, why aren't you good enough, and everything else...

 

The point is that you are good enough, more than good enough, just not with this guy.

 

Listen, I was involved a woman that I really cared about. And yes I loved her, but when it came down to it I was just a mess and I could not commit to any one woman.

 

Frankly at that point of my life I was a compete jerk, kind of like your MM.

 

This woman loved me like no tomorrow, way more than I ever deserved for sure. I finally broke up with her and she took it so hard.

 

Basically she lost her mind for a while, and at one point, if she owned a gun I honestly believe she would have killed me if she got the chance. It was bad.

 

But the thing is that, I was not a person that deserved her love, was just not the guy for her.

 

She finally got over it, and she is better now, but it was just a bad deal.

 

This is what you are doing to yourself. Sometimes people we love are not the right people or it is not the right time, it just happens.

 

You really have just got to admit this to yourself and move on with our life...

[Timshel]

i have talked about stopping the A... he refused... and i have talked with him about him leaving her. that is not going to happen too... and i am sitting here .... dying inside... thinking about what he is doing with her.... talking with her... kissing her... hugging her... massaging her... complimenting her... cooking food with her.... sleeping together.... things i want him to do only with me... sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it? am i not worth enough for a man to love and want only me and have the fear of losing me and have the desire to make me his..."

 

 

Honest, a man who will love you and only you won't want you right now. You are having an affair with a married man.

 

 

If you want a relationship that is all your own and to be loved completely with a desire to for him make you his...you're going to have to not be an OW.

 

 

The psychological disposition that you are in at this time is not attractive to the long term committed relationship partner you would like to attract.

[anika99]

i have talked about stopping the A... he refused... and i have talked with him about him leaving her. that is not going to happen too... and i am sitting here .... dying inside... thinking about what he is doing with her.... talking with her... kissing her... hugging her... massaging her... complimenting her... cooking food with her.... sleeping together.... things i want him to do only with me... sometimes i feel like screaming "why don't you want only me? don't i deserve someone who loves only me and wants only me? am i not worth it? am i not worth enough for a man to love and want only me and have the fear of losing me and have the desire to make me his..."

 

Those are not questions you should yell at him. Those are questions you need to ask yourself.

 

When I was very young I was deeply in love with a man who hurt me over and over again. I had a good male friend who tried to get me to see that I was better than what I was accepting. At first he was gentle and supportive, letting me cry on him while he sympathized and encouraged me. But after this had gone on for a couple of years he was frustrated and fed up with the whole situation.

 

So there came a day when once again I was crying and venting to him about the latest horrible thing my ex had done to me. My friend looked at me and said "you get what you deserve". I was taken aback. I said "what? What does that mean? Are you saying I deserve to be hurt?" He said "you tell me. This has been going on for years. It doesn't change. Every time you go back you know exactly what you are getting but you choose this for yourself anyways. If this crap is what you are willing to accept then it's what you deserve."

 

I was hurt by his words and I was mad. This was not the "you poor thing" talk I had come looking for. I cut our conversation short and the next time I was tempted to go crying to him his harsh words rang in my ears. I stopped telling him my relationship woes, I distanced myself from him thinking he was not on my side anymore but I still kept stewing over what he said and finally admitted to myself that he was right. If I deserved better then why wasn't I acting like it? Why wasn't I demanding better? That was the year I ended that toxic relationship for good.

 

So ask yourself, do you think you deserve better? Do you think you deserve someone to love you and only you? If you deserve better then you have the power to get better. If you keep choosing to be the OW then maybe that's what you deserve.

[abandoned2018]

I read and re-read the posts by

 

anika99 BluesPower BaileyB Overtaxed and bathtub-row

as reply for my previous post on this thread...

 

 

 

 

trust me... i do understand what you are saying.... my brain understands that what i am doing is wrong and that i will not get what i want from him... in fact here i am alone and suffering while he is with his wife... but, no matter how hard it hurts, i still can't seem to be able to let go.... i still love him and want his love and i can't give up the hope that one day he will choose me over her. i am trying to let go and i can't seem to find the courage.. this is hell and i wish i didn't fall for him ... or that he will think "i love this woman and don't want to lose her and i want to marry her" dreams..... hopes.....

 

 

 

 

 

what if i stop and i won't ever be able to love anyone else? what if i stop and if we carried on there was a chance that he will divorce her and i miss it because i stopped...?

[BluesPower]

I read and re-read the posts by

 

anika99 BluesPower BaileyB Overtaxed and bathtub-row

as reply for my previous post on this thread...

 

trust me... i do understand what you are saying.... my brain understands that what i am doing is wrong and that i will not get what i want from him... in fact here i am alone and suffering while he is with his wife... but, no matter how hard it hurts, i still can't seem to be able to let go.... i still love him and want his love and i can't give up the hope that one day he will choose me over her. i am trying to let go and i can't seem to find the courage.. this is hell and i wish i didn't fall for him ... or that he will think "i love this woman and don't want to lose her and i want to marry her" dreams..... hopes.....

 

what if i stop and i won't ever be able to love anyone else? what if i stop and if we carried on there was a chance that he will divorce her and i miss it because i stopped...?

 

No, it will never work that way... I know that all of this hurts so bad...

 

Listen, when I was not really a good person, I allowed several women to fall in love with me, and I liked them, I loved more than one, but I was not going to be with them. They really got hurt.

 

What I did was very despicable, I have a lot of guilt for the things I did. It is one of the reasons the I try and talk to OW, and MW about men that are like I used to be.

 

He is not a good person, he is using you for sex. (if you guys are even sleeping together one of these thread they are not) Or he is using you for ego strokes.

 

When I was this guy, I have to tell you that having several woman in love with you and at your beck a call is simply great for the ego. I makes you fell like a king.

 

But unless you are a sociopath, which I am not, at some point you realize that you are a complete jerk.

 

This guys that you are with, is just the run of the mill player at some level.

 

It is despicable for men, or women I guess, to behave this way.

 

And what you want to happen, WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN....

[bathtub-row]

I read and re-read the posts by

 

anika99 BluesPower BaileyB Overtaxed and bathtub-row

as reply for my previous post on this thread...

 

trust me... i do understand what you are saying.... my brain understands that what i am doing is wrong and that i will not get what i want from him... in fact here i am alone and suffering while he is with his wife... but, no matter how hard it hurts, i still can't seem to be able to let go.... i still love him and want his love and i can't give up the hope that one day he will choose me over her. i am trying to let go and i can't seem to find the courage.. this is hell and i wish i didn't fall for him ... or that he will think "i love this woman and don't want to lose her and i want to marry her" dreams..... hopes.....

 

what if i stop and i won't ever be able to love anyone else? what if i stop and if we carried on there was a chance that he will divorce her and i miss it because i stopped...?

 

Honestly, probably the best shot you have at getting him to choose you is to walk away. Any time you show a person that they can treat you in this manner, they will have no respect for you. This is basic human nature.

 

The other thing I wish you’d try to see is that, while it will feel horrible initially to let him go, this chemical reaction in your brain will eventually go away. You’re letting it lead you around on a leash but you CAN break the cycle. You think it’s this warm and fuzzy magical thing but it’s more like the frog that’s slowly boiled to death. You don’t see it coming until it is far too late.

[BaileyB]

 

what if i stop and i won't ever be able to love anyone else?

 

I ask you, would that be any more painful than what you are feeling right now? Seriously? Would being single be worse than what you are doing right now?

 

I think, you underestimate the healing power of time and distance. You also underestimate your own resiliency and the possibility that the future holds something wonderful for you.

 

And - is what you have with him actually love? Love in my book, is honesty, trust, dedication, commitment, loyalty, fidelity... do you have that with this man? Because, I would think if you did, he would leave his wife and commit to you. He hasn’t done that.

 

I think, sadly, that you love him and you have just assumed that he loves you in return. I don’t think that’s the case. He has not shown this in his decisions or his behaviour.

 

So, letting him go actually gives you the chance to find love. Which is better to me than holding onto something that you think is love, but really isn’t...

 

As to letting him go only to learn that he has finally divorced and you have missed your chance... would you really, truly want a man to be your husband who is capable of lying and cheating on his wife? What makes you think he would honour his commitment to you, if he has not done that for his wife?

 

Besides, he may well decide that he wants to play the field if that day ever comes... and where would that leave you? Just because he leaves her does not mean that he will chose you. And, if he did chose you, it does not mean that he will commit to you and be a good and faithful partner. The best predictor of future behaviour is often past behaviour...

Edited June 15, 2018 by BaileyB

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

what if i stop and i won't ever be able to love anyone else? what if i stop and if we carried on there was a chance that he will divorce her and i miss it because i stopped...?

 

And what if he leaves his wife and then you become the one he starts cheating on?

[abandoned2018]

I last posted on June 15th and here is what happened between then and now..

 

we had a conversation about "what if" he was free... what will he do... he has told me before that if he was free he would have married me.. now, on this conversation he said if he was free from her he would like to be alone as he does not like "marriage" anymore..

 

on one hand i can understand his fear/hesitation about marriage (given that what he faces with her is true)

 

on the other hand i was so hurt and i started to question my worth for him if he does not want to marry me even if he was free to do so...

 

i began to feel am i so worthless? am i not worth of being given the respect and status of "wife"?

 

so i told him we should stop this. he clearly can be happy without me and do not want me if he will not marry me even if he was free, so why continue? and he did not agree to stop.

 

this thought that "he does not want to marry me and he does not want to marry me even if he was free" was two blows to my head and i felt my feelings for him decreasing.. a distance was slowly being created....

 

 

 

Then....

 

today i was angry with him because i saw him at a common area at work and he did not look at me and didn't acknowledge me... i mean, he can't walk with me hand in hand, we can't go anywhere because he is always worried that someone will see, can't he even look at me and acknowledge me?

 

so i calmly told him via text that i am angry he didn't even look at me. his response "okay be angry then"

 

and he started going on about how he does not like people who are always angry (i am not always angry and i don't even remember the last time i was angry with him) he tried to paint me as the bad one-instead of just saying why he ignored me-

 

his indirect comment about how he does not like me made me very upset and i was on the brink of crying when he called the office phone. i heard his voice and cut the line because i was hurt and i did not want to cry and create a scene. (i admit pms played a part in this)

 

so i sent him a message saying i am crying. he saw it but didn't reply. this happened at around 9.00am and from then on no messages from him even though i sent a message saying let's forget what happened....

 

he has never behaved like this before. and today i feel that the end is near. i did not slam the phone down i just cut the line. and for that he punished me all day. that is not very loving... i am slowly beginning to see him for who is.... someone who does not love me enough

Edited July 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
fixed spacing

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry you are hurting but I'm glad you are getting angry. The anger will help you move forward without him.

 

Best wishes on your path to healing & peace.

[BaileyB]

Let’s just say it like this, he loves himself more than he loves you, or his wife for that matter. This has always been the case, you just haven’t seen it for what it was because he was good at making you believe otherwise. Now, you are seeing the truth of the situation.

 

Thank him for his honesty, it is the greatest gift because it has set you free. It’s time to move on...