Blindsided and heartbroken

[JP92]

I have the worst luck.

 

I went grocery shopping tonight and of course saw her at the store. I'm in a pretty big city so the odds of something like that happening is so slim but of course it happened. I tried to scurry out of the way but she saw me so I had to play it cool. She approached me and gave me an awkward side arm hug. Asked how I was doing, I said great and then she wished me a great night and said it was good seeing me before we parted ways. We only talked for like a minute, it was awkward and she didn't ask why I was ignoring her. FML. Now I feel like I did when the breakup was fresh and am hurting badly again. I won't act on these feelings but I feel like all my progress was for not and I just hit the reset button all over again. Seeing her again was painful.

[Marc878]

This wasn't your fault but now you see why any contact just sets you back.

 

If it happens again avoid the hug. For some reason they all tend to do this ****.

 

Keep her blocked. I suspect she values herself highly and can't understand how you could value yourself more than her.

 

Nice job so far.

 

Block her friends number.

[Mac0908]

Wtf. Where on Earth do you live that this chance encounter happened?

 

Either way, continue to be strong. I'm proud of your progress so far. It actually helped me seeing just how well you're doing.

[JP92]

Wtf. Where on Earth do you live that this chance encounter happened?

 

Either way, continue to be strong. I'm proud of your progress so far. It actually helped me seeing just how well you're doing.

 

Thank you. You and others have given me great advice to help. There was literally like a 1% chance of this encounter happening, i've seriously never seen anyone I know out in the public here prior to tonight. It's so weird how someone that I used to be so comfortably around made my heart drop tonight. I think I would have really been hurting if I saw her out with another dude, but I acted tough and acted as happy as I possibly could to avoid being weak. Just kept smiling and then went about my ways without looking back. A small part of me will probably want her back for a couple of months but I won't act on those feelings unless she does something extraordinary to get me back, which she won't...

 

I guess I'm going to have to order my groceries from amazon in the future haha

[JP92]

This wasn't your fault but now you see why any contact just sets you back.

 

If it happens again avoid the hug. For some reason they all tend to do this ****.

 

Keep her blocked. I suspect she values herself highly and can't understand how you could value yourself more than her.

 

Nice job so far.

 

Block her friends number.

 

Yep, this is why I haven't replied to the texts. False hope will just end up hurting me more and I'm incapable of being friends with someone that broke my heart. Maybe tonight was a good thing. It really showed me just how big of a setback it can be if you reconnect with an ex, whether intentional or unintentional. I'm still a little rattled. That feeling in my heart showed back up again that I felt the first couple of days and god that feeling sucks.

[Beachead]

Yep, this is why I haven't replied to the texts. False hope will just end up hurting me more and I'm incapable of being friends with someone that broke my heart. Maybe tonight was a good thing. It really showed me just how big of a setback it can be if you reconnect with an ex, whether intentional or unintentional. I'm still a little rattled. That feeling in my heart showed back up again that I felt the first couple of days and god that feeling sucks.

 

Exactly. I think this was a blessing in a way.

 

Now you can truly grasp the feeling of trying to be friends with an ex. Just imagine her being with another guy. It would have sent you 100 steps back.

 

Stay strong and maintain. This is just a setback. And remember, getting over her and everything will take time.

 

- Beach

[JP92]

Apparently she is taking it hard. A mutual friend of ours(girl) said they were watching a movie and she broke down crying uncontrollably and my friend said she’s been crying a lot lately. I don’t get it. If it hurts so much, why end it? I don’t want to get caught up in false hope because I still haven’t had her tell me she wants me back...I’ll never understand why she ended it though and that eats at me. She always struke me as the type with trust issues and she thanked me for being the first guy she could trust. So I just don’t see her running off to another guy but I know the smartest thing to do is to keep pushing to move on, I was just surprised to hear it hit her that hard and am left wondering if she’s feeling any regret.

[Mac0908]

There's not much to understand bc it doesn't matter at the end of the day. She didn't want you and that's all you need to know. One day you'll end up finding a girl who not only WANTS you, but has her head screwed on a lot better than this woman. On top of all that you have gotten all the validation you could possibly ask for here. You're a true winner in this. Trust me when I say your post breakup scenario doesn't happen often. Most guys (like me, beachead, and many others) get their hearts shredded in cold blowoff situations and are left to suffer and heal without anything like you've gotten. I got a Match.com view from my ex, beachead got an email many weeks later about some job posting. That's it. Stay strong. You've played this close to perfectly. I hope you deleted her from social media bc that would eventually be her next tool to try and get in touch with you IMO.

 

Remember one key thing.... She MADE this bed.

[Beachead]

There's not much to understand bc it doesn't matter at the end of the day. She didn't want you and that's all you need to know. One day you'll end up finding a girl who not only WANTS you, but has her head screwed on a lot better than this woman. On top of all that you have gotten all the validation you could possibly ask for here. You're a true winner in this. Trust me when I say your post breakup scenario doesn't happen often. Most guys (like me, beachead, and many others) get their hearts shredded in cold blowoff situations and are left to suffer and heal without anything like you've gotten. I got a Match.com view from my ex, beachead got an email many weeks later about some job posting. That's it. Stay strong. You've played this close to perfectly. I hope you deleted her from social media bc that would eventually be her next tool to try and get in touch with you IMO.

 

Remember one key thing.... She MADE this bed.

 

100%. That is really what it comes down to.

 

I would cut ties with the friend as well because I can already see the seeds being planted into your head. Remember, her friend bats for team ex..not team JP92. Neither of them have your best interests at heart.

 

OP, your ex cries because doing what's right for her is hard, but it's still what she wants at the end of the day which is not to be with you. And to choose not to be with you means she chooses to be with someone else and that is what will happen down the road. The tears aren't what we all hope they'd mean.

 

Stay strong

 

- Beach

Edited June 1, 2018 by Beachead

[JP92]

There's not much to understand bc it doesn't matter at the end of the day. She didn't want you and that's all you need to know. One day you'll end up finding a girl who not only WANTS you, but has her head screwed on a lot better than this woman. On top of all that you have gotten all the validation you could possibly ask for here. You're a true winner in this. Trust me when I say your post breakup scenario doesn't happen often. Most guys (like me, beachead, and many others) get their hearts shredded in cold blowoff situations and are left to suffer and heal without anything like you've gotten. I got a Match.com view from my ex, beachead got an email many weeks later about some job posting. That's it. Stay strong. You've played this close to perfectly. I hope you deleted her from social media bc that would eventually be her next tool to try and get in touch with you IMO.

 

Remember one key thing.... She MADE this bed.

 

That has been the easiest part. Neither her or I have social media. I deleted facebook after college b/c it was nothing but a brag fest and she deleted it because her family was over the top on it. We had a lot in common, but yeah, you just never can truly read women. I am at the stage where I finally have accepted it's over. I've been fighting delusions that she'll come running back to me but I know that isn't healthy or realistic. It's just been such a crazy experience for me. Everything I observed as a kid, as a teen, and as an adult made sense when it came to breaking up. Couples argued a lot, had a lot of differences, one partner was selfish, one wasn't faithful, etc.

 

Those breakups all made sense to me. However, my breakup has me feeling reluctant to try to date again for a long time. To feel like you did everything possibly right with someone you had so much in common with and still be dumped and given no real reason has left me incredibly confused and almost unwilling to put energy towards another relationship knowing that I can be the "perfect BF" and still get dumped.

[JP92]

100%. That is really what it comes down to.

 

I would cut ties with the friend as well because I can already see the seeds being planted into your head. Remember, her friend bats for team ex..not team JP92. Neither of them have your best interests at heart.

 

OP, your ex cries because doing what's right for her is hard, but it's still what she wants at the end of the day which is not to be with you. And to choose not to be with you means she chooses to be with someone else and that is what will happen down the road. The tears aren't what we all hope they'd mean.

 

Stay strong

 

- Beach

That is what I figured. Still just makes no sense. I am the dumpee...trying to guilt the one that wanted the relationship just doesn't work. I won't feel guilty for her crying and feeling bad when she ended it. Dumped is such a harsh term, but I like reading it when I start getting delusional about reconnecting. The harshness of the term reminds me of how cold hearted my ex was and that I should continue to cut all ties. The funny thing is the mutual friend thinks I am 100% right and that my ex messed up big time. But I might avoid her because I don't need unnecessary drama or a middle person that can continuously give my ex and I feedback on the other when I am still healing.

[ExpatInItaly]

Eh, she might be crying and breaking down because her love life hasn't gone the way she wanted. I wouldn't assume her tears are directly related to you, but rather that she feels she isn't where she hoped she would be by now.

 

I don't mean that to sound harsh. But if she ended it, it was because she wanted out of the relationship more than she wanted to stay. Something is eating at her, but it might not connected to you personally.

[Highndry]

Eh, she might be crying and breaking down because her love life hasn't gone the way she wanted. I wouldn't assume her tears are directly related to you, but rather that she feels she isn't where she hoped she would be by now.

 

I don't mean that to sound harsh. But if she ended it, it was because she wanted out of the relationship more than she wanted to stay. Something is eating at her, but it might not connected to you personally.

 

 

Exactly. It's ALL ABOUT HER. His feelings mean nothing. This is the worst kind of woman in the world. She did you a favor. Be thankful.

[JP92]

Thank you everyone for all the feedback in this thread. I am glad you all told me the truth even if it comes off as harsh.....that is a lot better than feeding me false hope. I'll post any updates as they come but am going to stick to NC. These last two weeks have been a crazy ride emotionally and i'll never fully understand what happened, but I know I must accept it.

[Mac0908]

Looking back, this thread is just the perfect example of push/pull and how it really works. In this case, the dumpee(OP) pulls away and basically says F you to the woman that dumped him, and back she comes running soon after, stronger than ever. He can see her, probably have sex with her, maybe even rekindle, but let's ask ourselves, what is that REALLY? I mean we all know that if the OP got needy and pushed for her to come back(like I eventually did with my ex) there's a 100% chance she'd be gone, pushed further away. But he does the opposite here and she returns. Does a guy REALLY want a girl like that? Bc at the end of the day, it's a joke either way. There shouldn't be anything like this taking place in the first place if she truly wanted him and appreciated him. Right or wrong? And what if they ever DID rekindle. What are the real odds that it would now work out and she'd be fine? Why did she have to dump him in the FIRST place then? And no I don't even want to hear how the split would make her realize she really wanted him or absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc. It's BS.

 

It's just been such a crazy experience for me. Everything I observed as a kid, as a teen, and as an adult made sense when it came to breaking up. Couples argued a lot, had a lot of differences, one partner was selfish, one wasn't faithful, etc.

 

Those breakups all made sense to me. However, my breakup has me feeling reluctant to try to date again for a long time. To feel like you did everything possibly right with someone you had so much in common with and still be dumped and given no real reason has left me incredibly confused and almost unwilling to put energy towards another relationship knowing that I can be the "perfect BF" and still get dumped.

 

Believe me man I feel you, and if there was ever someone on these boards who knows exactly where you're coming from its me. I too treated the girl like gold, and got sh-t on with absolutely positively no warning short of a her texts being a bit watered down in the days leading up. Still, as you may recall, we even had one final hangout the night before the blowoff that went perfect. Laughs, good communication, making out hardcore on my couch at the end of the night, etc. Then she talked up our next hangout which was the New Years party and under 24 hours later I was blown off. Even though right away I too knew I did nothing wrong at all, I couldn't help but feel completely broken and empty inside and afraid to ever put energy in another relationship again, like you're feeling now.

 

In my journey towards healing, I learned to never underestimate human beings again, especially the emotionally sporadic creatures that are women. I then even made a list of all the things I did for her in our short time together to make myself realize just how much of a great guy I was and like you, again, did nothing wrong. And no I'm not talking about AFC/loser type stuff like bringing her flowers every date, taking her to fancy restaurants or telling her I loved her a month in. I'm talking about nice, genuine, gentleman type stuff (i.e. paying for her train tickets home, bringing her back a small souvenir from a weekend trip I went on, breakfasts in bed, going out of my way to ask her about issues she was having with her family, cooking for her, etc, and I do mean ETC).

 

So yes, you're still very hurt right now. You did nothing wrong. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and I admit it might even be worse to be blown off cold just bc she didn't want you anymore as opposed to not being over an ex as in my case. A lot of times the guy makes a mistake or messes up but in your case this woman truly sounds like a piece of work. Emotional. All over the place. Same as me. Just read my original thread. But be glad your ex pulled this stunt now and not 6 months from now when you were even more invested.

[ExpatInItaly]

She hasn't really come running back stronger than ever, though.

 

Yeah, she tried to get in touch with him but it was a fairly mundane message. And ran into him at the grocery store. But I don't see anywhere that she attempted to actually return to him, and there's the rub - she seems to want her ego stroked, but she hasn't attempted to reignite anything with OP.

 

I think that's where a lot of dumpees go wrong; they assume the little tidbits of info they're getting mean something more. I'm not saying that's OP's case, but a general observation.

[Mac0908]

She hasn't really come running back stronger than ever, though.

 

Yeah, she tried to get in touch with him but it was a fairly mundane message. And ran into him at the grocery store. But I don't see anywhere that she attempted to actually return to him, and there's the rub - she seems to want her ego stroked, but she hasn't attempted to reignite anything with OP.

 

I think that's where a lot of dumpees go wrong; they assume the little tidbits of info they're getting mean something more. I'm not saying that's OP's case, but a general observation.

 

Ok fair points and I suppose I didn't word it the best, but when she's texting him from a friends number after she's initially blocked, I think that's pretty damn strong.

[Beachead]

Looking back, this thread is just the perfect example of push/pull and how it really works. In this case, the dumpee(OP) pulls away and basically says F you to the woman that dumped him, and back she comes running soon after, stronger than ever. He can see her, probably have sex with her, maybe even rekindle, but let's ask ourselves, what is that REALLY? I mean we all know that if the OP got needy and pushed for her to come back(like I eventually did with my ex) there's a 100% chance she'd be gone, pushed further away. But he does the opposite here and she returns. Does a guy REALLY want a girl like that? Bc at the end of the day, it's a joke either way. There shouldn't be anything like this taking place in the first place if she truly wanted him and appreciated him. Right or wrong? And what if they ever DID rekindle. What are the real odds that it would now work out and she'd be fine? Why did she have to dump him in the FIRST place then? And no I don't even want to hear how the split would make her realize she really wanted him or absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc. It's BS.

 

 

 

Believe me man I feel you, and if there was ever someone on these boards who knows exactly where you're coming from its me. I too treated the girl like gold, and got sh-t on with absolutely positively no warning short of a her texts being a bit watered down in the days leading up. Still, as you may recall, we even had one final hangout the night before the blowoff that went perfect. Laughs, good communication, making out hardcore on my couch at the end of the night, etc. Then she talked up our next hangout which was the New Years party and under 24 hours later I was blown off. Even though right away I too knew I did nothing wrong at all, I couldn't help but feel completely broken and empty inside and afraid to ever put energy in another relationship again, like you're feeling now.

 

In my journey towards healing, I learned to never underestimate human beings again, especially the emotionally sporadic creatures that are women. I then even made a list of all the things I did for her in our short time together to make myself realize just how much of a great guy I was and like you, again, did nothing wrong. And no I'm not talking about AFC/loser type stuff like bringing her flowers every date, taking her to fancy restaurants or telling her I loved her a month in. I'm talking about nice, genuine, gentleman type stuff (i.e. paying for her train tickets home, bringing her back a small souvenir from a weekend trip I went on, breakfasts in bed, going out of my way to ask her about issues she was having with her family, cooking for her, etc, and I do mean ETC).

 

So yes, you're still very hurt right now. You did nothing wrong. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and I admit it might even be worse to be blown off cold just bc she didn't want you anymore as opposed to not being over an ex as in my case. A lot of times the guy makes a mistake or messes up but in your case this woman truly sounds like a piece of work. Emotional. All over the place. Same as me. Just read my original thread. But be glad your ex pulled this stunt now and not 6 months from now when you were even more invested.

 

Your top paragraph is particularily why I believe even though my ex went back to her ex and married him, they'll return to their bag of problems. They seemed to have neglected the fact that they had enough problems that pushed them apart in the first place. Marriage was used as an escape from dealing with the real issues. It's like updating the upholstery in your car and giving it a new paint job when the engine's the problem.

[Beachead]

Thank you everyone for all the feedback in this thread. I am glad you all told me the truth even if it comes off as harsh.....that is a lot better than feeding me false hope. I'll post any updates as they come but am going to stick to NC. These last two weeks have been a crazy ride emotionally and i'll never fully understand what happened, but I know I must accept it.

 

I admire your discipline OP. Truly.

 

Stay Strong man

 

- Beach

[JP92]

Thanks guys. It's really frustrating having your emotions be dictated by one person. Like this morning, I woke up with an awful pain in my chest because of a dream I had about her last night. I looked over to the right side of my bed and she wasn't there and that pain hit my chest hard. I am working hard on focusing on myself but i've noticed that I will randomly get really down again. The memories are still strong and my mind still can't fully process why it happened. It's just been two weeks so I guess it is normal to still feel a lot of pain, I just wish I could time travel to the future because I am sick of feeling like 1/2 of a person. She is really trying to hurt me which is so unlike the girl I met. I've tried so hard to cut off all contact with her but forgot I had the stupid Words with Friends app downloaded on my phone and we used to play that game. I got a notification from her last night that said, "I never want to talk to you or see you again. Goodbye forever." She started up a game with me, typed in the chatbox, then resigned. Just to make sure she got her message across and left me unable to reply which I probably wouldn't have done anyways. Just uncalled for and cruel. I have never done anything mean to this chick and see now seems set on hurting me even though she ended it with me. Seeing her say "goodbye forever" hurt more than it should have hurt. I have accepted that I need to move on but seeing her say "forever" hurt a lot when just two weeks ago I thought this girl was going to be apart of my life for a long time.

 

It's easy to say that I should be thankful that she cut me from her life and her behavior is a sign that I avoided heartbreak down the road, but it's just so confusing to me. She seriously was the sweetest person I've ever met, male or female. Just nice beyond belief. This change in behavior after I was nothing but nice is really damaging to my mindset. I seriously never want to date ever again.

Edited June 2, 2018 by JP92

[Mac0908]

Thanks guys. It's really frustrating having your emotions be dictated by one person. Like this morning, I woke up with an awful pain in my chest because of a dream I had about her last night. I looked over to the right side of my bed and she wasn't there and that pain hit my chest hard. I am working hard on focusing on myself but i've noticed that I will randomly get really down again. The memories are still strong and my mind still can't fully process why it happened. It's just been two weeks so I guess it is normal to still feel a lot of pain, I just wish I could time travel to the future because I am sick of feeling like 1/2 of a person. She is really trying to hurt me which is so unlike the girl I met. I've tried so hard to cut off all contact with her but forgot I had the stupid Words with Friends app downloaded on my phone and we used to play that game. I got a notification from her last night that said, "I never want to talk to you or see you again. Goodbye forever." She started up a game with me, typed in the chatbox, then resigned. Just to make sure she got her message across and left me unable to reply which I probably wouldn't have done anyways. Just uncalled for and cruel. I have never done anything mean to this chick and see now seems set on hurting me even though she ended it with me. Seeing her say "goodbye forever" hurt more than it should have hurt. I have accepted that I need to move on but seeing her say "forever" hurt a lot when just two weeks ago I thought this girl was going to be apart of my life for a long time.

 

It's easy to say that I should be thankful that she cut me from her life and her behavior is a sign that I avoided heartbreak down the road, but it's just so confusing to me. She seriously was the sweetest person I've ever met, male or female. Just nice beyond belief. This change in behavior after I was nothing but nice is really damaging to my mindset. I seriously never want to date ever again.

 

Yes this is what will happen for a while. I too had that SAME exact thought. Wishing i could just fast forward my life a few months. That's how bad the pain was. I went to the deepest, darkest corners of being messed up mentally. But, as Beachead once said, your brain is basically used to enjoying something that was VERY good so it will linger for quite a while until it gets used to the new normal which is her no longer around. Two weeks though? Try 3.5 months for me. Slowly but surely though, I made it to 100% and you will, too. She saw she couldn't have her cake and eat it too by getting you to talk, and she bailed. Oh well, good luck to the next sucker that ends up with her. Easy for me to bash her while you sit in pain, believe me, I know man, but remember one thing...

 

I said it before and i'll say it again. She MADE this bed.

Edited June 2, 2018 by Mac0908

[JP92]

Thanks, Mac. I'll stop posting on this thread unless a serious update happens. I realize I've been going back to this thread every time something little happens but I really appreciate how everyone has replied with such helpful and thoughtful insight each time I have been weak. It has helped me a lot. I promise to return the favor for others and add my 2 cents as this has been a huge learning experience for me and I still have a lot of learning to do these next couple of months. I won't rule out dating again one day, but I really want to focus on myself and my own healing right now. I need to start caring about myself as much as I care about others. I've always been that friend or person you could call at 2 in the morning to pick you up from a bar or bail you out and i'd be there in a nanosecond. I've always been 100% into every friendship/relationship i've had and think if I ever date again that I need to hold back a lot more in the early stages.

 

Sometimes I think I am too easy for girls. I have always been a non confrontational person and always have understood that people have various different perspectives due to the way they were raised and their environment. It's almost impossible to bait me into a fight or argument. I am not challenging and may lack a "spark" that a lot of girls seek in a guy. I won't change and stop being nice, but I truly believe that my personality may make it hard for a lot of girls to feel excited about a relationship with me after the honeymoon phase which is when this relationship ended. This isn't some way to insult myself or beat myself up because I know the girl I dated ended up having a lot of faults, but this is just an observation based on relationships my friends and family have had growing up.

Edited June 2, 2018 by JP92

[Beachead]

Thanks guys. It's really frustrating having your emotions be dictated by one person. Like this morning, I woke up with an awful pain in my chest because of a dream I had about her last night. I looked over to the right side of my bed and she wasn't there and that pain hit my chest hard. I am working hard on focusing on myself but i've noticed that I will randomly get really down again. The memories are still strong and my mind still can't fully process why it happened. It's just been two weeks so I guess it is normal to still feel a lot of pain, I just wish I could time travel to the future because I am sick of feeling like 1/2 of a person. She is really trying to hurt me which is so unlike the girl I met. I've tried so hard to cut off all contact with her but forgot I had the stupid Words with Friends app downloaded on my phone and we used to play that game. I got a notification from her last night that said, "I never want to talk to you or see you again. Goodbye forever." She started up a game with me, typed in the chatbox, then resigned. Just to make sure she got her message across and left me unable to reply which I probably wouldn't have done anyways. Just uncalled for and cruel. I have never done anything mean to this chick and see now seems set on hurting me even though she ended it with me. Seeing her say "goodbye forever" hurt more than it should have hurt. I have accepted that I need to move on but seeing her say "forever" hurt a lot when just two weeks ago I thought this girl was going to be apart of my life for a long time.

 

It's easy to say that I should be thankful that she cut me from her life and her behavior is a sign that I avoided heartbreak down the road, but it's just so confusing to me. She seriously was the sweetest person I've ever met, male or female. Just nice beyond belief. This change in behavior after I was nothing but nice is really damaging to my mindset. I seriously never want to date ever again.

 

She pretended to be someone she wasn't and you fell in love with who you thought she was. Therefore, you miss who you thought she was. But, that person never really existed. You're brain has wired itself into a natural pattern of life that involved her. Now she's gone. It's going to take time to rewire your mind and unlearn things. For some, they get over it quickly. For others, it can take up to a year or more. It all depends. But if you let yourself grieve and remain honest with yourself, you will bounce back from this.

 

As for her ridiculous beahavior right now..it has nothing to do with doing anything wrong. As I said before, it has to do with her and her bruised ego simply because you didn't kick up a fuss when she broke up with you. So now she feels invalidated and all she is trying to do is soothe her anxiety by trying to do anything she can to get you to engage with her. It's an instinctual reaction to relieve pain and it's irrational.

 

6 months from now, she won't look back at her decision and wish she hadn't left you. She'll look back and be content because it's what she really wanted to do at the end of the day. Keep in mind, not once in any of these interactions did she ever say she wanted to come back.

 

Trust that she knew what she was doing when she ended it.

 

- Beach

Edited June 2, 2018 by Beachead

[Marc878]

You never really knew her. This is a part of who she is.

 

Now you know. Be glad about that.

 

Download and read “No More Mr Nice Guy” free pdf

[winny]

Sometimes I think I am too easy for girls. I have always been a non confrontational person and always have understood that people have various different perspectives due to the way they were raised and their environment. It's almost impossible to bait me into a fight or argument. I am not challenging and may lack a "spark" that a lot of girls seek in a guy. I won't change and stop being nice, but I truly believe that my personality may make it hard for a lot of girls to feel excited about a relationship with me after the honeymoon phase which is when this relationship ended. This isn't some way to insult myself or beat myself up because I know the girl I dated ended up having a lot of faults, but this is just an observation based on relationships my friends and family have had growing up.

 

Stop this line of thought because you are NOT in fault at all. Never change or question the essence of your goodness. The Universe wants you to find a better person so you were forced to get rid of this time waster girl. Get it together. Be who you are... just try to be wiser next time... and smarter. The right girl will appreciate it. Because trust me... I am looking for a guy who has the exact traits as you do. So are many other girls.... please don't change... ha ha.

To hell with the "spark"!