Meeting Thirty Somethings?

[Logo]

Where does one go to meet fun, educated, mature, good looking women in their early to mid, or even late thirties?

 

It seems almost impossible to find.

 

And please don't say bars. Women don't go to bars to look for relationship material men and vice versa.

 

I have tried meetup groups. No dice.

 

Most women I meet have either been recently divorced and are still grieving or have children from a previous marriage.

 

 

Things were so much easier

Edited May 21, 2018 by Logo

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Consider joining a young professionals group in your area. One that meets to network, do volunteer activities, etc.

[d0nnivain]

I actually met my husband in a bar so it is an option but it is not an ideal option.

 

You can meet people anywhere. Try the following though:

 

1. OLD

 

2. MeetUps (not the singles ones; groups that do something you are interested in)

 

3. Singles events. Try the odd ball ones, not the traditional meat markets. I joined one called Leashes & Lovers because you could bring your dog. Guys were all over me because I had a Dalmatian & most of the women had little dogs. Another one I found interesting was one where they pair you up to play golf with somebody. I figured even if the company wasn't great, at least I'd get in 9 holes.

 

4. Join a co ed sports team of some sort

 

5. Check out alumni groups. I attended a Big-10 school so there is always something going on during Football season

 

6. Join a civic group: the Rotary, the Lions, the Kiwanis, the Elks, the local VFW, whatever floats your boat.

 

7. Protest something

 

8. Get involved in politics. Campaigns always need help

 

9. Business organizations: Chambers of Commerce, networking groups etc

 

10. Industry events. Dating within your company isn't so hot but people you meet at conferences or continuing education events are fair game. You already have work in common

 

11. Getting fixed up by friends & family. Tell everybody you know that you are open to introductions. You never know who knows somebody who may be perfect for you.

 

12. Look around at work, not your company but in the elevator, or parking lot; where you get your lunch or morning coffee, on the train / bus during your commute

 

13. Speed dating

 

14. Volunteering doing something you care about: rescuing animals, raising money to fight disease, being a docent at a local museum or an usher at the community theater.

 

Happy hunting!

[nospam99]

At 64 my demographic is 'almost twice' yours...

 

I'm having a lot of success meeting 'fun, educated, mature, good looking' women on OLD. That may be largely a demographic thing.

 

I've also noticed that the local speed dating company has a LOT of events for 30-40 y/os. The one speed dating event I went to for 'us seniors' I met several nice women. But I'm meeting so many on OLD that I never followed up with the speed dating ladies. (Probably offended them by not contacting.)

 

Ditto your experience with meetups. I didn't feel comfortable 'hitting on' the ladies because we were all supposedly there for the event rather than to meet a dating partner. And only one meetup woman ever gently hit on me.

 

FWIW, I love kids. So I doubt I'd have had issues dating a 30-something mom.

[Mr. Lucky]

Where does one go to meet fun, educated, mature, good looking women in their early to mid, or even late thirties?

 

 

Most women I meet have either been recently divorced and are still grieving or have children from a previous marriage.

 

Aren't women with children eligible to be "fun, educated, mature, good looking women in their early to mid, or even late thirties"?

 

If you're looking for unencumbered partners in their 30's that have never been married or had children, that's a pretty small group...

 

Mr. Lucky

[PegNosePete]

The majority of fun, educated, mature, good looking women will have either been married or at least had a long term relationship by their 30's and many will have children.

 

I found my local hiking group had a large number of eligible single women who fit your filters - and a large number of men who were very good at small talk and getting into their friend zones. The few men who did go for it, had good success because they had almost no competition.

[normal person]

 

And please don't say bars. Women don't go to bars to look for relationship material men and vice versa.

 

This is myopic. Plenty of people of all "quality" go to bars, drink alcohol, socialize, and hope to meet potentially meet partners. It's literally the first place people go when they have this desire. You don't think doctors, lawyers, people with graduate degrees, successful people, etc ever meet their partners in bars? Because I know many who have, and before the advent of online dating it was even more prevalent. You think merely the act of patronizing a bar gives someone the scarlet letter of not being relationship material? You won't find an easier spot. Not all bars are sticky-floored dives or obnoxiously loud clubs catering to the Bud Light college crowd. I'm sure there are at least a few classy, dignified drinking establishments in your city for people who are beyond that stage of their life. I can't walk a few blocks without seeing at least one.

 

I have tried meetup groups. No dice.

 

I know of plenty of couples who've met in bars, and I know couples who are happily married having met online. That being said, I've never known any person who has even attended a "meetup group" outside of struggling people on this forum.

 

Most women I meet have either been recently divorced and are still grieving or have children from a previous marriage.

 

Well, you chose to wait until your 30s to find a partner so now this is the game you have to play. Slim pickings. Women have biological clocks so most are settling down earlier than their 30s. However, you have an advantage in that you can date younger women, who are oftentimes attracted to older, successful men. Since you're still single into your 30s, you've likely built an amazing career with all the time you would've otherwise dedicated to a relationship and the "quality" 27-30 year old women who've diligently waited for a responsible, resourceful partner like yourself should be throwing themselves at you. Unfortunately, you're denying them one of the best chances to meet you because you think relationship minded people don't visit bars, which is absolutely absurd.

 

If I were you I'd start OLD immediately and absolutely review my stance on bars. Best of luck.

[Logo]

This is myopic. Plenty of people of all "quality" go to bars, drink alcohol, socialize, and hope to meet potentially meet partners. It's literally the first place people go when they have this desire. You don't think doctors, lawyers, people with graduate degrees, successful people, etc ever meet their partners in bars? Because I know many who have, and before the advent of online dating it was even more prevalent. You think merely the act of patronizing a bar gives someone the scarlet letter of not being relationship material? You won't find an easier spot. Not all bars are sticky-floored dives or obnoxiously loud clubs catering to the Bud Light college crowd. I'm sure there are at least a few classy, dignified drinking establishments in your city for people who are beyond that stage of their life. I can't walk a few blocks without seeing at least one.

 

 

 

I know of plenty of couples who've met in bars, and I know couples who are happily married having met online. That being said, I've never known any person who has even attended a "meetup group" outside of struggling people on this forum.

 

 

 

Well, you chose to wait until your 30s to find a partner so now this is the game you have to play. Slim pickings. Women have biological clocks so most are settling down earlier than their 30s. However, you have an advantage in that you can date younger women, who are oftentimes attracted to older, successful men. Since you're still single into your 30s, you've likely built an amazing career with all the time you would've otherwise dedicated to a relationship and the "quality" 27-30 year old women who've diligently waited for a responsible, resourceful partner like yourself should be throwing themselves at you. Unfortunately, you're denying them one of the best chances to meet you because you think relationship minded people don't visit bars, which is absolutely absurd.

 

If I were you I'd start OLD immediately and absolutely review my stance on bars. Best of luck.

 

From my perspective, your post reads as though someone took a redacted story and decided to fill in the blanks based on assumptions, speculation and vivid imagination. Perhaps people in the world in which you live are manufactured like cookies at a factory; they all fit the same mold. I don't know.

 

Next time, try to ask clarifying questions instead of jumping to judgmental conclusions.

 

Anyway, you could have based your response on the information I provided in my first post, but you chose otherwise.

 

Good luck.

[Logo]

The majority of fun, educated, mature, good looking women will have either been married or at least had a long term relationship by their 30's and many will have children.

 

I found my local hiking group had a large number of eligible single women who fit your filters - and a large number of men who were very good at small talk and getting into their friend zones. The few men who did go for it, had good success because they had almost no competition.

 

 

I'll try to look for a group that practices the same hobbies I do. That's a good idea. Thanks.

[Logo]

I actually met my husband in a bar so it is an option but it is not an ideal option.

 

You can meet people anywhere. Try the following though:

 

1. OLD

 

2. MeetUps (not the singles ones; groups that do something you are interested in)

 

3. Singles events. Try the odd ball ones, not the traditional meat markets. I joined one called Leashes & Lovers because you could bring your dog. Guys were all over me because I had a Dalmatian & most of the women had little dogs. Another one I found interesting was one where they pair you up to play golf with somebody. I figured even if the company wasn't great, at least I'd get in 9 holes.

 

4. Join a co ed sports team of some sort

 

5. Check out alumni groups. I attended a Big-10 school so there is always something going on during Football season

 

6. Join a civic group: the Rotary, the Lions, the Kiwanis, the Elks, the local VFW, whatever floats your boat.

 

7. Protest something

 

8. Get involved in politics. Campaigns always need help

 

9. Business organizations: Chambers of Commerce, networking groups etc

 

10. Industry events. Dating within your company isn't so hot but people you meet at conferences or continuing education events are fair game. You already have work in common

 

11. Getting fixed up by friends & family. Tell everybody you know that you are open to introductions. You never know who knows somebody who may be perfect for you.

 

12. Look around at work, not your company but in the elevator, or parking lot; where you get your lunch or morning coffee, on the train / bus during your commute

 

13. Speed dating

 

14. Volunteering doing something you care about: rescuing animals, raising money to fight disease, being a docent at a local museum or an usher at the community theater.

 

Happy hunting!

 

I'll be sure to try some of those.

 

I have tried online dating for over a year and realized that it's mostly good for casual sex, nothing more. And the women I met on there can all be lumped up as fickle/flaky at best. It's the nature of online dating. I've heard that men are the same. It's non committal, feels like catalog shopping.

[Logo]

Consider joining a young professionals group in your area. One that meets to network, do volunteer activities, etc.

 

Networking professionals would be a great prospect. I've tried a few, but will continue to try new ones.

[Logo]

At 64 my demographic is 'almost twice' yours...

 

I'm having a lot of success meeting 'fun, educated, mature, good looking' women on OLD. That may be largely a demographic thing.

 

I've also noticed that the local speed dating company has a LOT of events for 30-40 y/os. The one speed dating event I went to for 'us seniors' I met several nice women. But I'm meeting so many on OLD that I never followed up with the speed dating ladies. (Probably offended them by not contacting.)

 

Ditto your experience with meetups. I didn't feel comfortable 'hitting on' the ladies because we were all supposedly there for the event rather than to meet a dating partner. And only one meetup woman ever gently hit on me.

 

FWIW, I love kids. So I doubt I'd have had issues dating a 30-something mom.

 

 

OLD just didn't work for me. I want to have kids of my own, start a family with no history where the father is almost like a third wheel; two's company, three's a crowd.

[d0nnivain]

I was a single woman in my mid 30s when I re-entered the dating world (or really entered for the 1st time since I had meet my last 2 EXs in academic environments & been with them for a total of about 12.5 years) I too wanted a never married man without kids because I was a never married woman without kids. I was told I'd have better luck finding a unicorn. Well, I found my husband at a business card exchange. He was worth the wait.

 

I tried OLD but hated it. The local guys had no ambition so while some were handsome none had long term potential. Most of the men I met through work were married or I did not find them attractive. The heart wants what the heart wants & the other parts more so I really had much better luck at in person things.

 

 

Anyway, as somebody else pointed out, the older you get, the harder it is to find other childless partners. Don't immediately give up on everybody who has a child. You can count that child as a negative in your own head when evaluating the potential for a relationship, but if you do find the mother intriguing you have to be wonderful to the kid & not treat the child like a burden. My one EX had a son. Even though that EX ended up passing away I still consider his son as a blessing in my life. All I'm suggesting is that you consider the whole person.

[normal person]

From my perspective, your post reads as though someone took a redacted story and decided to fill in the blanks based on assumptions, speculation and vivid imagination. Perhaps people in the world in which you live are manufactured like cookies at a factory; they all fit the same mold. I don't know.

 

Well, in the world I live in, suggesting "women don't go to bars to look for relationship material men and vice versa" is nonsensical and more of an assumption than anything I've written. Perhaps certain aspects of the dating scene may seem "manufactured" to you, but did you ever consider that certain things and methods are popular and ubiquitous because they work?

 

 

Next time, try to ask clarifying questions instead of jumping to judgmental conclusions.

 

Anyway, you could have based your response on the information I provided in my first post, but you chose otherwise.

 

I did, however that post made assumptions that have hindered the effectiveness of your search. In my opinion, opening your eyes to that fact is much more beneficial to you than trying to achieve your goal under the circumstances you set for yourself. It's like you made a post asking how to make more money, but with the asterisk "And don't say 'supplement your income with a weekend job,' everyone knows that doesn't work," when in actuality that would be one of the easiest ways.

 

Good luck.

 

Strangely enough I don't need it, I'm a 30 something who's met and dated plenty of great, successful, smart, beautiful women without issue using the methods described, but thanks anyways. If you don't think it's actionable advice for your situation, don't take it. Best of luck.

[nospam99]

Qualification 1: I don't drink for 'fun'

Qualification 2: I live in a (four) college town.

Qualification 3: I haven't been in every bar in my town.

Qualification 4: I have not actively spied on the other 'patrons' so my 'observations' are based solely on overheard conversations and 'gentlemen' leading giggling 'ladies' out to the parking lot.

Qualification 5: I have not actively enough sought out the local bars where people go to meet members of the opposite sex for the purpose of establishing long-term relationships to be able to assert that no such bars exist.

 

Other than groups of friends who already know each other out drinking, all I've ever seen in the bars in my town are both men and women looking for NSA ONS or FWB relationships. If other posters have been successful meeting opposite sex strangers in bars for anything other than sex, they're doing a great job.

[Happy Lemming]

Where does one go to meet fun, educated, mature, good looking women in their early to mid, or even late thirties?

 

I've actually met quite a few women at my local used book store and chit-chatted.

 

I'm in a long term relationship (for now), but it would have been easy to extend the conversation to the coffee shop next door.

 

It's easy to start a conversation at a used book store... Do you like this author?? Have you read this book?? What are you presently reading or just finished??

 

Just my two cents...

 

Best of luck!!

[basil67]

Other than groups of friends who already know each other out drinking.....

 

I think you missed the memo that being with friends who already know each other is exactly how to meet someone in a bar. If they are with friends you know straight away that they have social skills.

 

There's a queue at the bar? Talk to the stranger next to you. There's a good band playing? Get chatting to someone between sets. One of your friends strikes up a conversation with a new person? Perfect situation to get in and start talking with their friends. A bit of alcohol is the perfect social lubricant, hence why so many have dating success in these venues.

 

And just to be clear, I'd be choosing a local pub rather than a classy bar because everyone is more at ease in the local.