why don't guys like me? do I scare them away or what is it? am I just too shy?

[unluckygoodlooks24]

It's always guys that I don't like that are always interested bothering me getting mad etc.. causing all out problems. When I want a man he's too not into me to care. They say it's so easy for women to get laid. But for me guys always hate me if I like them and if I don't like them they like me.

 

I get told that I probably get a lot of guys that are into me. But I generally am just bothered by ugly guys or guys I don't even know are good looking because they just aren't my type. But my type is always so elusive. Even when they like they don't realize how much I do. And it's always the worst of my type that ever cares... But I just always feel stuck inexperienced sexually. I guess it's a good thing I'm unlucky and probably would be bad.

 

I never really am that emotionally connected to anyone maybe people take that as not liking someone. But for me it's just I have a small emotionality to my sexuality. I am getting overly frustrated sexually it seems lately because I have had it where I get bothered by guys I have no care about then other guys I like and talk to but it really brings out that side of me to life when I'm sure we were just trying to be friendly at least one of them.

 

I just overall hate it. I wish some guy could just hook up with me. But I get nothing after all these years I just feel like I should give up and maybe be celibate. Advice?

Edited May 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[unluckygoodlooks24]

When people say it is easy for women to get laid, that doesn't mean it's easy for women to just bang any guy they want, especially if they are picky, it just means they can have sex with someone. Not so easy for men.

 

In your own post, you say that some men like you, so there is that. If you want better looking men, then ask yourself what you would have to do to get their attention. What kind of women do the men you prefer seem to end up with?

 

I get good looking guys. But they are usually black guys. I'm black but mixed... I first started out attracted to just white men because of the way I was raised I have broaden my attraction I am attracted Hispanic and mixed men but generally I get dark chocolate black guys into me and I have no use for them. I can't find it in me to be attracted to these type of men so I never really find anyone.... Because I prefer guys that look like me mixed guys.. but in the black community it tends to be that mixed or lighter skinned people are attracted to darker skinned black people and vice versa. In my experience so I always lose out.

Edited May 22, 2018 by unluckygoodlooks24

[unluckygoodlooks24]

I dated a young black girl a couple years ago that only dated white guys like me. She also had some issues because of it. She kinda put it out there to her family and friends that she only dates white guys, and at least for her, eventually everyone got the hint.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that a lot of guys might not know you are into them. I wasn't against the idea of dating a black girl, but since I didn't see many black/mixed girls dating white guys, I never really bothered to hit on them. I was pretty shocked when the black girl told me she was interested. So, keep in mind that you might have to be a bit more assertive or at least let people know what your type is.

 

Yeah I notice it seems sometimes like my only times I ever get a chance where someone shows half interest is actually from white men that I find attractive it's never happened from anyone else like mixed or lighter skinned guys rarely ever glance my way they don't even know I exist lol. That's what my experience is.... I guess my next problem is with friends if I told them I think they'd be mad at me. So I just don't talk about it.... Because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

[Chilli]

Hate to put it like this but l dunno how else to put it but maybe your aiming too high in looks l mean, pretty common with women.

 

As far as the type of guy you like not showing any interest tbh that happens to a lot of people it's not only you don't worry. It often seems to be the wrong ones that like us one way or another.

[unluckygoodlooks24]

Hate to put it like this but l dunno how else to put it but maybe your aiming too high in looks l mean, pretty common with women.

 

As far as the type of guy you like not showing any interest tbh that happens to a lot of people it's not only you don't worry. It often seems to be the wrong ones that like us one way or another.

 

 

I don't really think I am at all... I'm not that picky. Only thing I go too high in is maybe height I'm short but I prefer taller men most of the time because of where I'm from 6'1" is average because Dutch men are pretty abundant that's why the city is called Holland lol. So I tend to prefer guys 6'3" but even with that I can find short men attractive too it's just stronger with tall men. But other than that I'm not very picky. I have good looks myself I have a dollish look I look like a Jasmine with full big black girl lips and I have thick curly blonde hair natural in in color and every other way.. I have model looks. And on top of it I'm always called skinny even though I'm not really I just don't hold weight in any bad parts I hold it on my bust only so I always look stick like but with rather large chest.im a busty blond with a modellike features so I'm attractive generally get told I have exotic features. I generally am open to any guy that slightly turns me on.... But I don't get half of what I want even.

[smackie9]

If you wait around for a guy to notice you, you are doing it wrong. If you want men hoping out of their seats to meet you, you have to be more out going and approachable. First thing you need to do is smile lots and have solid eye contact with whomever you are interested in.

 

 

 

In my dating days, I dressed top notched, had the looks, was fit, and etc. I couldn't figure out why guys were not asking me out. It wasn't until a friend of mine told me I intimidated guys and looked too expensive to date. They thought I should be dating some buff guy that drove a sports car. I was floored because I didn't see myself that way. I started to be the aggressor, was more out going, etc. That's how I got dates...I made myself more approachable by making more contact, interacting assertively, more flirtatious.

[unluckygoodlooks24]

If you wait around for a guy to notice you, you are doing it wrong. If you want men hoping out of their seats to meet you, you have to be more out going and approachable. First thing you need to do is smile lots and have solid eye contact with whomever you are interested in.

 

 

 

In my dating days, I dressed top notched, had the looks, was fit, and etc. I couldn't figure out why guys were not asking me out. It wasn't until a friend of mine told me I intimidated guys and looked too expensive to date. They thought I should be dating some buff guy that drove a sports car. I was floored because I didn't see myself that way. I started to be the aggressor, was more out going, etc. That's how I got dates...I made myself more approachable by making more contact, interacting assertively, more flirtatious.

 

Yeah a lot of the time I get told I am mean for no reason. You're so right about that. I get more buff guys that bother me but I don't like buff guys. So it's like I'm always read wrong again. But yeah I think maybe I'm the opposite in social situations I don't look at guys but I will speak if they speak to me type of thing. Some cases it would be extremely hard to actually look straight on because I'm that shy I don't want to get the look like what's wrong with you I guess I'm scared of rejection lol.

[preraph]

Like said above, when you see a man you might like to approach you, give him a big smile and eye contact. When you see men you are not interested in, look away. It can cause too much trouble to smile at everyone to look approachable, but you have to use common sense. Even if you don't put your smile on a man at all but just smile and laugh with your girlfriends when out and about, that can make you look approachable. Because you look friendly.

 

The most notable thing about your post, though, is that you seem to have nothing emotional for any of these guys. That's not really natural and maybe requires some work on yourself.

[Chilli]

Yeah a lot of the time I get told I am mean for no reason. You're so right about that. I get more buff guys that bother me but I don't like buff guys. So it's like I'm always read wrong again. But yeah I think maybe I'm the opposite in social situations I don't look at guys but I will speak if they speak to me type of thing. Some cases it would be extremely hard to actually look straight on because I'm that shy I don't want to get the look like what's wrong with you I guess I'm scared of rejection lol.

 

Well you sound lovely for sure but people telling you your mean says a lot. lt's good to just keep talking even if it's around in circles with this stuff because somewhere in there the thing ends up showing up and personally l think that might be the problem.

Even though you sure don't sound mean at all you sound really warm actually but yeah , sometimes shyness can give a girl a bit of a snubbish look sadly, they don't mean it like that but it can come across that way.

Try to warm your facial expressions and just generally yourself up a bit , soften it type thing it make a huge difference.

 

Looks wise , l think it's the opposite then also and maybe they think they don't have a shot with you you got men hounding you so they don't try.

Not sure how you dress but l'd actually be thinking maybe dress down a bit, just down to earth every dayish, soften everything it's all sorta a long the lines of what smackie was sayin type thing.

 

l think through no fault of your own really your just coming across a bit unapproachable .

Believe me even as a guy l've had to dress down my whole life or even people in general but especially the type of girl l like won't be interested because she thought l wouldn't be interested in her. So When you do come across the type of guys you like l think stuff like this could help things a long a lot.

 

Good luck.

Edited May 22, 2018 by Chilli

[JustGettingBy]

There's no rule saying you have to be the one to get approached. Women can approach men to.

[unluckygoodlooks24]

Like said above, when you see a man you might like to approach you, give him a big smile and eye contact. When you see men you are not interested in, look away. It can cause too much trouble to smile at everyone to look approachable, but you have to use common sense. Even if you don't put your smile on a man at all but just smile and laugh with your girlfriends when out and about, that can make you look approachable. Because you look friendly.

 

The most notable thing about your post, though, is that you seem to have nothing emotional for any of these guys. That's not really natural and maybe requires some work on yourself.

 

I'm just very aromantic.... But I'm not asexual. I wonder if that's read as lack of friendliness or not? Not really sure....