AlbChick Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 (edited) Hello everybody!! I have this question that has been bugging me for a while and i thought this is the best place to ask for opinions. So, there has been this guy at work who i know for 5 years. We havent work the same shift often before so i cant say we know each other very well. It is also important to note that we are of different nationalities and religions. I have always liked him as an appearance but never put much thought on him and his interactions with me in general. However, on new years eve our company had a little event. I, a female colleague of the same nationality and faith as i and another male colleague of his nationality and faith plus our bosses who would leave and come from time to time were the only one to stay. Mind you, by then i was super drink so at one point i left to lay a little at the main offices sofa which happens to be nearby the desk he was sitting and listening to music. The other colleagues were in the other room. So, he sees me and all of the sudden he invites me to rest my head on his leg while holding my hand and interlocking fingers with me! At one point i remember that my hand fell and he took it back. Afterwards i wanted to go to the balcony, he accompanied me there and was embracing me while smoking. I don't exactly remember how much we stayed there but i know it was long. We parted ways when my colleagues boyfriend came to pick us up. After that night he went second shift for a month and a half. Mid February he returned first shift. We have both acted like nothing had happened. Since then, he would occasionally compliment me, like notice my new glasses, my new trainers or a shirt i had. He would send songs devoted to me, he would listen to songs and bands i listen. He would laugh at my stupid jokes oh yeah, he would find stupid excuses to hug me. Last monday his fav football team had won, he posted a pic of it, i liked it and he had gotten so excited about my like that he brought treats to work and said it was because i liked his pic. You know little things like these that confuse me! By know you might think its obvious he likes me. But please be patient! Remember that other female colleague i mentioned?! Well, i think he might like her. So, during our pause at work we play cards! Its a small team and our work is flexible so we have time to enjoy a little. Anyway, we sit next to each other so obviously during card time he would sit next to me. A few weeks ago, he asked me if it was ok if he went to sit next to her. I said it was ok but obviosly i was bothered and it showed. The next day i was still hurt, and he was all the time trying to talk to me and i kept cutting him short. After a several days i was no longer angry since i thought i was irrational and read too much into it. But no, he kept finding excuses to sit next to her, take the stairs with her and leave me take the elevator with our gay colleague. If my colleague wanted to take the stairs he would specifically suggest him not to leave me alone in the elevator. Today was the last straw. I came to work to find him sitting next to her desk because he knew that the colleague that usually sits next to her was going to be late. It really got me, i know its none of my business, but i got hurt and it showed a little. When the colleague got to work, he switched to the seat next to me and was constantly trying to talk to me, asking me about the song i was listening to and other stupid stuff. I was either ignoring his questions or answering with short answers. About the other female colleague, he never compliments her or notices anything new about her, for instance: She got the glasses before me, but he only noticed when i bought them. plus she is engaged! So, please anybody help me decifer the man. Does he like her, me, none of us? Please, i will be eternally grateful. Edited May 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 I have no idea how he feels about her but at this point, 5 months after Christmas since he's never asked you out despite plenty of opportunities to do so, you have to presume he does not have any interest in dating you. Since it's work do try to put a lid on your jealousy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted May 22, 2018 Author Share Posted May 22, 2018 Thank you. This is what i am trying to repeat to myself over and over again. Maybe i just needed to hear it ☹️. About the jealosy, i am not acting on it or anything its just i cant act indifferent so i distance myself. Thats all! Thank you again for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 He likes the other woman and he was honest about it to you. He doesn't want her (or probably anyone at work) thinking he has a thing going with you. He just likes her more. Sorry. Reason #382 why it may be better to not get involved with workmates (though we've all done it). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlbChick Posted May 22, 2018 Author Share Posted May 22, 2018 Thanks preraph He probably likes her! Sometimes the heart keeps feeding you lies when the truth is right in front of you. I am going to keep distancing myself. There was no relationship or anything so nothing to grieve here. Its just sad that some people have it all and others nothing, but this is life and we must keep living it, right ?! Link to post Share on other sites
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