Pink86 Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 So I recently went to see my OBGYN due to an allergic reaction problem I had with my BC pills. Ive seen him for both pregnancies I've had. Everytime I see him he acts nervous around me. Well this past time I went to see him he walked in acting nervous and then he walks over to log on his computer and randomly says "Well, i bet that rash isn't a good thing for your sex appeal." I am a very attractive woman. I'm 31 and he is 57 and he is attractive too. Well I didn't say anything after he said that. He was staring at me the whole appt and then at the end of the appt he was just staring and I asked if we were done and he says "Well yes unless you want to stay and talk to me." Let me remind you he is married and so am I. What do you think his intentions were? I am so confused right now. My gut instinct is he was really flirting and it seems like the flirt has been progressing everytime I see him. Do you think he is looking for a hookup? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 I certainly hope not. Link to post Share on other sites
Wookin Pa Nub Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Sounds like he is and those comments are not professional. Aren't obgyn's required to have another person in exam room to make sure nothing inappropriate happens? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 From my experience, it’s not uncommon for doctors to flirt with attractive patients (no, it’s not appropriate/professional), but I assume/hope most are innocent flirting, and shouldn’t interfere with the medical treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Sounds like it ... and inappropriately so ... But I can't tell: are you hoping that he was flirting? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 he could lose his medical license if he sleeps with a patient Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 22, 2018 Author Share Posted May 22, 2018 I guess they are only expected to have someone in the room when they are examining. He was only talking to me about a diff perscription when all this happened. He was staring me down as if he was undressing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 22, 2018 Author Share Posted May 22, 2018 I felt as if he was trying to test the waters with me to see if I would react like I liked him too? Idk...what gyno talks about someone's sex appeal?? Obviously it seems he has an attraction I think. That's why I am asking. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 I felt as if he was trying to test the waters with me to see if I would react like I liked him too? Idk...what gyno talks about someone's sex appeal?? Obviously it seems he has an attraction I think. That's why I am asking. Are you hoping that he does have an attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Do you think you should try fixing your marriage issues? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 (edited) Ok, I'm confused. You keep saying he seemed to be coming on to me ... We're saying ... yes, clearly and inappropriately so ... and this behavior is behavior that could be reported to the medical board ... as in get him suspended, etc ...Trust me: male gynecologists have received a thousand warnings not to do what he did. He didn't accidentally talk to you that way. But you're not going there ... I can't tell: are you or are you not angry at him? ... Did you feel violated? You clearly have reason to feel violated .... but I'm not sensing that's what you're feeling. I'm not criticizing you ... to literally answer the question: yes, he was flirting with you. Yes, he expressed an interest in some kind of romantic-sexual relationship with you. Edited May 23, 2018 by Lotsgoingon Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I think the OP is attracted to the guy, and is secretly hoping he is attracted to her, and intends to make a move (pending the OP’s green light). That’s why I advised her to fix her marriage issues. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 I am married but we are separated. He is married though so not sure if he was coming on to me or not and I don't know why he would if he is married. That's kinda why I'm asking. I didn't mind the flirting but Idk what he wanted? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I am married but we are separated. He is married though so not sure if he was coming on to me or not and I don't know why he would if he is married. That's kinda why I'm asking. I didn't mind the flirting but Idk what he wanted? Because people cheat all the time, that's why. If you want to be the mistress go ahead and encourage his advances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 I don't want to be a mistress. I just didn't understand why he was coming onto me so much this past time I went. I thought it was kinda weird. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 (edited) I don't want to be a mistress. I just didn't understand why he was coming onto me so much this past time I went. I thought it was kinda weird. It is. It's horribly inapprorpriate and unprofessional. Do you really want a man with such poor boundaries and no respect for ethical standards? This says a lot about him as a person, and it's not good. Also, if he was that bold, I can nearly promise you this isn't the first time he's done this and you are not the only woman he's got his eye on. It's not flattering; it's predatory. Personally, I would be turned off by that behaviour. Why aren't you? Edited May 23, 2018 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Just looked back at your initial post. I think the guy’s comments are creepy, instead of flirty. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I can nearly promise you this isn't the first time he's done this and you are not the only woman he's got his eye on. It's not flattering; it's predatory. Personally, I would be turned off by that behaviour. Why aren't you? If he were my GYN, I'd be finding a new one....STAT! With that said, my GP always acts very nervous around me, but I'm certain it's his personality and he acts that way around everyone. I find it endearing. He's never ever made an inappropriate comment and he's a very kind grandfatherly type. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 To add, I understand that psychiatrists are completely barred from having a romantic or sexual relationship, even with their FORMER patients. I would think an obgyn doctor should be particularly cautious with their former patients (ALL doctors are barred by their boards from having such a relationship with their CURRENT patients), given the nature of their treatment. Personally, his comments were crass and would creep the hell out of me, even if they didn’t come from my doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 Honestly, he has always had a raw kind of sarcastic sense of humor and sometimes tries to be funny. This time he seemed serious and wasnt laughing. After my appt I went to get my summary at the desk by his office and he stood there staring at me then he says you know what, can you come here a minute and calls me over to the room again to try and show me brochures of other stuff that didn't have to do with my appt. Thought that was odd too. Almost seemed like he wanted me to keep standing close to him. He called me up to his computer in the exam room and started asking me chemistry questions. I thought wtf? Don't know what your talking about. Almost thought he did that so I would be next to him. It was odd. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Honestly, he has always had a raw kind of sarcastic sense of humor and sometimes tries to be funny. This time he seemed serious and wasnt laughing. After my appt I went to get my summary at the desk by his office and he stood there staring at me then he says you know what, can you come here a minute and calls me over to the room again to try and show me brochures of other stuff that didn't have to do with my appt. Thought that was odd too. Almost seemed like he wanted me to keep standing close to him. He called me up to his computer in the exam room and started asking me chemistry questions. I thought wtf? Don't know what your talking about. Almost thought he did that so I would be next to him. It was odd. Are you a chemist? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 If you think he was being suggestive, then he probably was, though he was careful not to actually verbalize anything out of bounds. As everyone has said, He could lose his license for having sex with a patient. I've literally never felt one of my gyns was coming on to me, though I have had smart-butt ones who liked to tease me. One of them drew the diagram of my boobs as if they were cross-eyed. I've only had an optometrist possibly flirt a little by making himself real comfortable with his knee on my knee. If he hadn't had a hologram of a clown in the office, I might have been interested. A hologram.........of a CLOWN!! Ew. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 A hologram.........of a CLOWN!! Ew. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink86 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 No I'm not a chemist. Hahahahaha that's why I thought he was just trying to get close to me. I know when he is joking around and he def wasn't this time. I almost sensed sexual tension with him. Also, he had me come in even though I didn't really have to. He could have just sent a diff perscription to my pharmacy. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 No I'm not a chemist. Hahahahaha that's why I thought he was just trying to get close to me. I know when he is joking around and he def wasn't this time. I almost sensed sexual tension with him. Also, he had me come in even though I didn't really have to. He could have just sent a diff perscription to my pharmacy. So why are you still his patient? Link to post Share on other sites
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