dazedandconfused2017 Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 I went out of my way to get a female friend something thoughtful for her birthday. I didn't do it because I expected something in return. Today was my birthday, and she completely ignored it. I think she may have felt obligated to get me something because I did. I'd have been happy with a text saying "happy birthday!" I'm hurt and feel stupid for doing something nice for her biryhday. How do I move forward with our friendship? I see her regularly and know she enjoys our friendship. I just don't understand her behavior.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 Happy Birthday . Maybe she doesn't realize it's your birthday?
Author dazedandconfused2017 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Posted May 23, 2018 She remembered last year and got me a card, which was what I got her. Maybe upping the ante and actually getting her a gift was too much.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 She remembered last year and got me a card, which was what I got her. Maybe upping the ante and actually getting her a gift was too much. I doubt it. I think she just did not remember . 1
bathtub-row Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 She probably forgot. Give it some time and she may remember later on. Regardless, I'm sure that's hurtful. Happy birthday!
Happy Lemming Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 It's your birthday!! Go do something fun!! Forget about her, take yourself out for some Pizza and Ice Cream!!
Author dazedandconfused2017 Posted May 23, 2018 Author Posted May 23, 2018 I doubt it. I think she just did not remember . I had dropped a couple hints that my birthday was coming up. If a friend cares, they'll find a way to remember.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 I had dropped a couple hints that my birthday was coming up. If a friend cares, they'll find a way to remember. It's not always black and white. Some people have a lot going on in their lives you know nothing about. Give this friend a break.
whichwayisup Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 Would you be this upset if a guy friend didn't get you anything for your bday? Seems this female friend is more than just a friend. Possibly you have feelings for her? Don't put expectations on people. It was wonderful of you to get her a gift but when you expect the same back, with strings attached, it'll disappoint you when things don't go your way. Time to talk to her and see how she feels about you.
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 Another vote for she just overlooked it accidently as opposed to intentionally ignored you. Either way, you may be more invested in her then she is in you. Dial it back. Preserve the friendship but put some distance in there. Do not expect her to be as a good of a friend to you as you are to her.
Malin889 Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 Why are you so upset? Do you like her more than a friend? How did she react to your present?
coolheadal Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 I went out of my way to get a female friend something thoughtful for her birthday. I didn't do it because I expected something in return. Today was my birthday, and she completely ignored it. I think she may have felt obligated to get me something because I did. I'd have been happy with a text saying "happy birthday!" I'm hurt and feel stupid for doing something nice for her biryhday. How do I move forward with our friendship? I see her regularly and know she enjoys our friendship. I just don't understand her behavior. You can drop the hints as much as you want but if the girl is not feeling you more than just a friend this would be what you can expect. If you did what you did for her birthday then you know she's not the type to return the favor back. Don't push this with her as you all know it will not get better. You just haven't found the right girl yet and appreciates you for who you are in and out.
preraph Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 My best friend, who always remembers my birthday, totally forgot last year. And she didn't remember she forgot it for months and months. And she said, I think I forgot your birthday this year. At the time we were in contact and everything. The only thing I know is sometimes around that time but not right on it, she had had some illness, so I figured that threw her off (she has a family and a full time job) and behind and things will slip when you're running on empty. This year I'll remind her!!
ChatroomHero Posted May 23, 2018 Posted May 23, 2018 "I went out of my way to get a female friend something thoughtful for her birthday. I didn't do it because I expected something in return." Well you did expect something in return, a card or a gift or a "Happy Birthday" on yours. It's not exactly selfless if you give a gift or acknowledge a birthday and then are upset you didn't get one in kind, which is basically what you are saying. She probably forgot. Or like me, maybe thought about it 5 times during the day and planned a call and completely forgot when she got home. Personally, other than a beer at the bar or something, I think birthdays after your 21st maybe, are childish and people remembering my birthday or not does not = how much they care about me. 1
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