Saying “I love you” on the second date

[JuneL]

If I’m not mistaken, you and this woman have been colleagues for a few months. You see her often, and had chatted with her quite a few times (not just about work) before asking her out, no?

 

Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

[BaileyB]

My boyfriend says that he knew I was "the one" when he first looked into my eyes and when we first talked... I was not quite that decisive, but it didn't take me long to know there was the potential of something wonderful...

 

That said, it took us six months of dating to actually say "I love you."

 

While I do believe that some people "just know" early on... I'd say that they would be a damn fool if they profess their undying love and don't take their time to get to know the other person and build a solid relationship.

 

Had my partner told me he "love me" after the second date, I would have run for the hills... That's infatuation, poor impulse control, poor judgment... not love. Love grows over time and through shared experiences...

[Art_Critic]

Well he already removed her panties before that!

 

He is just telling her what he thinks she wants to hear... he is also trying to keep the panties off...

 

He can't love her... he doesn't know her so he is saying it for a reason..there are a few reasons, none are really relationship builders.

[heavenonearth]

My boyfriend says that he knew I was "the one" when he first looked into my eyes and when we first talked... I was not quite that decisive, but it didn't take me long to know there was the potential of something wonderful...

 

That said, it took us six months of dating to actually say "I love you."

 

While I do believe that some people "just know" early on... I'd say that they would be a damn fool if they profess their undying love and don't take their time to get to know the other person and build a solid relationship.

 

Had my partner told me he "love me" after the second date, I would have run for the hills... That's infatuation, poor impulse control, poor judgment... not love. Love grows over time and through shared experiences...

 

EXACTLY. That is what I say!

 

I also knew that I will one day love my boyfriend - the moment I saw him, I just knew.

 

But I definitely would not have said I LOVE YOU on the second date.

[Mr. Lucky]

 

He can't love her... he doesn't know her so he is saying it for a reason..there are a few reasons, none are really relationship builders.

 

I’d guess she’ll find relationship building not his priority. It would be interesting to see what happens to his “love” if she slowed down on the sex...

 

Mr. Lucky

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

If you have never met this person before in your life and they tell you they love you on the second date, they are full of ****.

[SevenCity]

If I’m not mistaken, you and this woman have been colleagues for a few months. You see her often, and had chatted with her quite a few times (not just about work) before asking her out, no?

 

Same job, different girl

 

I spoke to her on a few occasions but asked her for coffee within a week and asked her out while we were having coffee.

[alphamale]

If a 31 year old guy says this to a girl he only spent about 5 days with (in a period of 3 weeks)... what does that say about him?

 

it says that he has little experience with women

[SevenCity]

My marriage lasted a whole 6 months. After the break up at age 35, I swore, that I would never fall in love again. Over the next 15 years, my number went up by at least a good 100 women.

When ever I saw love walking down my street and headed for my door, I was out the back door and miles down the alley.

I loved being single and living alone. I could do what I wanted with whom ever I wanted, when ever I wanted and had no one to answer to.

Enter current GF, second date, first kiss, my mighty walls collapsed. It caught me totally off guard.

I had to stop myself from telling her that I loved her. I went home that night, seeing how lonely my life was.

That was 20 plus years ago. I expect she will wake up in the next hour, after breakfast we have a lot planned as it is her day off.

 

Just you wait until year 21 - you’re gonna regret it!

 

I can only hope my story goes as yours, time will tell.

 

But there is no explaining if you’ve never experienced it so I’m not gonna try.

 

I would agree most times when people feel this way so quickly it is lust and infatuation. Occasionally, it’s not.

[preraph]

Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

 

What if you're both just in love with the ideal person you have in your heads and are projecting onto each other? All I can say is take time to get to know her before making any moves into commitment. Meanwhile, enjoy and have fun.

[preraph]

When you know you really love someone is after you've been with each other while sick and having car trouble and having trouble making the rent and having their parents visit. Most people get weeded out before all that once they start fighting over how to split the housework.

[Echo74]

I know a woman who dated a guy when they were both around 20-21, he proposed after one month and they have been happily married for 40 years now. But that's pretty darned rare. Personally, that would make me a bit wary.

[guest569]

It may evolve into true love, or he may be mistaken and take it back. It’s ok to think or feel it, but putting it into words so prematurely could be misleading when there is so much yet to be learned about the other person, and a lot that could go wrong between a 2nd date and a happily ever after. If I hear these words too soon, I file it away and just see where things go. I will echo Echo’s comment, it makes me wary, as I have been hurt before by someone taking it back.

[Mikasut]

If somebody tells you that he or she loves you (or something else exaggerated like you are perfect etc) after couple of dates for me it is a sure sign that he or she is projecting his/hers fantasies on you. He does not see the real you, but the idealized version of you. For me this is a red flag. I mean, come on. He does not know you, and now he is telling he loves you? This does not make any sense. Of course it can make you feel good about yourself (shivering your ego) but this can be dangerous. For instance narcissist do that to make you feel very special and suck you in.

 

And do you know what happens when he realizes that the real you does not match to the idealized version he had about you? He will devalue you. And usually this is the beginning of abusive relationship. And you are trapped, because you can´t let go of this person because he was so sweet and made you feel so special at first. It is very difficult to accept that it was nothing but an illusion, and now you are seeing what this person is really about. Do not let your ego blind your judgement. Of course this is the worst case scenario. He can be very insecure and clingy, so called "mr.nice guy" (they are not really that nice).

 

I would be very worried about your friend as well. This does not sound healthy at all.

[2.50 a gallon]

At age 27 I met a 22 year old Hispanic gal who worked at a sporting goods store. For me it was love at first sight. But for her, I was too old, too poor (I am a T-shirt and blue jeans guy and she liked her men to wear suits) and too white. She shut me down half a dozen times trying to connect. She already had a guy she had been dating for over a year and was thinking of possibly marrying. And of late she had started to date a second guy. The son of a wealthy local Hispanic politician, who had asked her to a fancy rich man's ball. Her chance to play Cinderella

Then one day my job laid off the whole crew for one day. I decided to take advantage of the day off by going fishing. While she was ringing me up for my worms I tried one more time and asked her if she wanted to go fishing with me the next day. I was shocked when she said yes. She had never been fishing and it was something she wanted to try. And all of her life she had lived in the desert and this was her first chance to spend time near a river, and it would give her a chance to improve her tan for the fancy ball that weekend.

On the way to the river she reminded me that we would never be boy friend and girl friend.

I did everything right that day and the romance of the river helped out. Her first time building a camp fire and heating up hot dogs. First time walking along the slew of the river and seeing the plants, frogs and pollywogs. We had a great time talking about the future and how we wanted to have families and kids. And she caught her first fish. And wanting to eat it she went with me back to my place for supper.

I eventually took her home about 1 in the morning after taking a shower.

The next day I answered a knock at the front door about 6 in the evening to find her standing there with a pizza in her hand wanting a repeat of the previous nights loving.

Boy friend number one had already been told he was history. And she asked my permission to go to the ball as she had spent many hours sewing the fancy gown and wanted her chance to wear it.

One other question, what are we going to name our kids?

We eventually got engaged for a couple of years, but alas her older sister did not like the idea of her marrying a gringo and set out to break us up.

[2.50 a gallon]

Sevencity

 

 

Too late for the 21st year as we are already half thru year 23.

I wish you luck.

Believe it can happen!

[IndigoNight]

Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

 

That reminds me of my husband and I, and we've been together over 19 years. Within a month of meeting he said I love you, and at first I thought he had lost his mind. Then, I realized in the few short weeks that we had been together, I felt more of a connection, passion and intimacy with him than I ever did in my previous 10 years of marriage to my ex (and I loved my ex, but it was nowhere close to how my current husband made/makes me feel). Here we are over 19 years later, and not a day goes by that I don't feel that same passion, and love with every look, touch, word, and kiss. If someone had told me then that he would be the greatest love of my life I would have laughed at them. Now, I realize that as crazy as it might have been, loving him was the best chance I ever took.

[Tearknee]

I say this screams the guy is not ready for a stable emotional relationship.

[Mysterio]

That reminds me of my husband and I, and we've been together over 19 years. Within a month of meeting he said I love you, and at first I thought he had lost his mind. Then, I realized in the few short weeks that we had been together, I felt more of a connection, passion and intimacy with him than I ever did in my previous 10 years of marriage to my ex (and I loved my ex, but it was nowhere close to how my current husband made/makes me feel). Here we are over 19 years later, and not a day goes by that I don't feel that same passion, and love with every look, touch, word, and kiss. If someone had told me then that he would be the greatest love of my life I would have laughed at them. Now, I realize that as crazy as it might have been, loving him was the best chance I ever took.

 

Indigo. Does your hubby's physical look play a role in your passion or is it just his personality that is the hook or both looks and personality?

[hotpotato]

A guy said that to me once on the second date. He was in his early 40's. First of all, it freaked me out. Secondly, he obviously expected me to reciprocate that sentiment and I couldn't (although I was polite). Thirdly, he turned out to be a stalker and I had to get the police involved. Enough said?

 

I know there are times when we meet someone and they just flat out knock our socks off. Still, restraint is needed because that kind of confession is usually not going to be well-received.

 

ikr. That sounds exactly like an episode of Stalked.

 

If a guy dropped an l bomb on the second date, i'd think he was full of you know what! I've had guys pretend they liked me for the sex.

 

Maybe his feelings are real to him, but I hope your friend proceeds with caution (if at all).

[heavenonearth]

ikr. That sounds exactly like an episode of Stalked.

 

If a guy dropped an l bomb on the second date, i'd think he was full of you know what! I've had guys pretend they liked me for the sex.

 

Maybe his feelings are real to him, but I hope your friend proceeds with caution (if at all).

 

She’s still seeing him. She visited him last weekend. For two days.

And now they text all the time. Not sure when they see each other again.

 

Supposedly he has not used the three magic words again since.

[magnesium]

Saying "I love you" that fast isn't a good sign.

 

It could be emotional immaturity, it could be love-bombing, or a number of (unhealthy) things.

 

There are dangerous people in this world, and unfortunately, most of them don't look like your stereotypical criminal.

 

Think about it, how can someone fall in love that fast w/o even knowing the other person? Would you believe that person who says "I love you" that fast? If they can say "I love you" that fast, what else do you think will come out of their mouth just to keep the illusion going? The answer is lies.

[heavenonearth]

Saying "I love you" that fast isn't a good sign.

 

It could be emotional immaturity, it could be love-bombing, or a number of (unhealthy) things.

 

There are dangerous people in this world, and unfortunately, most of them don't look like your stereotypical criminal.

 

Think about it, how can someone fall in love that fast w/o even knowing the other person? Would you believe that person who says "I love you" that fast? If they can say "I love you" that fast, what else do you think will come out of their mouth just to keep the illusion going? The answer is lies.

 

I really am so worried about her. I mean she came back from visiting him unscathed but they will see each other again soon and i just don’t trust the guy.

She’s very sweet and tiny and innocent and a bit gullible so i worry about her.

[SevenCity]

That reminds me of my husband and I, and we've been together over 19 years. Within a month of meeting he said I love you, and at first I thought he had lost his mind. Then, I realized in the few short weeks that we had been together, I felt more of a connection, passion and intimacy with him than I ever did in my previous 10 years of marriage to my ex (and I loved my ex, but it was nowhere close to how my current husband made/makes me feel). Here we are over 19 years later, and not a day goes by that I don't feel that same passion, and love with every look, touch, word, and kiss. If someone had told me then that he would be the greatest love of my life I would have laughed at them. Now, I realize that as crazy as it might have been, loving him was the best chance I ever took.

 

That’s awesome. I think this is rare for most people, but in my opinion the most healthy way to start a relationship.

 

Although it’s only been a few weeks for me, I have spent more time with this woman than any other I have dated in the past two years since my ex (with the longest lasting about 4 months). It’s a strange sensation to feel you’ve known someone for years after such a short period of time. As more time goes on, I discover stuff about her that makes the feeling stronger. Things that may turn people off are wonderful and amazing to me. We basically have the same kind of crazy. It’s like the first time you meet your best friend.

 

The girl I last dated told me she loved me after date 3. I was so uncomfortable and felt as if it was not coming from a genuine place (nor did I remotely feel the same). She said it several more times and then finally stopped. We were incompatible and I felt like I could not be myself around her.

 

Like I said though, in the case of the OP’s friend, I would be cautious.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That reminds me of my husband and I, and we've been together over 19 years. Within a month of meeting he said I love you, and at first I thought he had lost his mind. Then, I realized in the few short weeks that we had been together, I felt more of a connection, passion and intimacy with him than I ever did in my previous 10 years of marriage to my ex (and I loved my ex, but it was nowhere close to how my current husband made/makes me feel). Here we are over 19 years later, and not a day goes by that I don't feel that same passion, and love with every look, touch, word, and kiss. If someone had told me then that he would be the greatest love of my life I would have laughed at them. Now, I realize that as crazy as it might have been, loving him was the best chance I ever took.

 

:love::love: How sweet!