Saying “I love you” on the second date

[SevenCity]

I really am so worried about her. I mean she came back from visiting him unscathed but they will see each other again soon and i just don’t trust the guy.

She’s very sweet and tiny and innocent and a bit gullible so i worry about her.

 

It’s fine to be worried, but it’s best to keep it to yourself. No one, women especially, will take advice to stay away from someone they like well.

 

Think if someone said that to you about your bf.

 

She sounds like an adult and therefore you cannot save her from herself. She has to make mistakes on her own.

 

As a friend, be there to console her if it goes to crap but don’t try to influence her decisions. That is projecting your rule set on her.

[d0nnivain]

heavenonearth

 

I share your skepticism. I'd immediately walk away from some guy who told me he loved me before he knew me. My one EX did say it like the 1st week but we'd gone to HS together & met back up 20 years later so there was some foundation. My response to his declaration was incredibly negative. I think I said something like "What are you, an idiot? You barely know me. Who says stuff like that?"

 

Just keep your eyes open. Be there to console her when it all falls apart.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My response to his declaration was incredibly negative. I think I said something like "What are you, an idiot? You barely know me. Who says stuff like that?"

 

 

And then you punched him in the face??!! :lmao:

[d0nnivain]

And then you punched him in the face??!! :lmao:

 

 

No. That was my former boss who grabbed my tush at work.

 

My EX, I went back to kissing even after dressing him down for saying ILY too early.

[heavenonearth]

It’s fine to be worried, but it’s best to keep it to yourself. No one, women especially, will take advice to stay away from someone they like well.

 

Think if someone said that to you about your bf.

 

She sounds like an adult and therefore you cannot save her from herself. She has to make mistakes on her own.

 

As a friend, be there to console her if it goes to crap but don’t try to influence her decisions. That is projecting your rule set on her.

 

The last guy she was with was a real tool and she had trouble ending it as well. Only after i told her straight up that he’ll never make her happy many many times again and again, she finally told him to eff off. It was quite the rollercoaster and it’s still inexplicable to me why she kept seeing him. It was so destructive.

She’s not so experienced with relationships.

 

It’s complicated, but yes, i think she can be quite gullible. She also is just soooo nice and wouldn’t just tell a guy to **** off.

 

I just hope the guy is not some creep who will do something bad to her.

There’s a difference between someone having their heart broken or someone being seriously physically hurt.

[heavenonearth]

heavenonearth

 

I share your skepticism. I'd immediately walk away from some guy who told me he loved me before he knew me. My one EX did say it like the 1st week but we'd gone to HS together & met back up 20 years later so there was some foundation. My response to his declaration was incredibly negative. I think I said something like "What are you, an idiot? You barely know me. Who says stuff like that?"

 

Just keep your eyes open. Be there to console her when it all falls apart.

 

 

Yes i am not just scared he’s some tool, i am scared he’s an actual bad person who may harm her.

Then again, i have trouble trusting people. But when i was her age i also would travel 4 hours on a train to be with some guy i never met before.

But i know better now.

 

Yeah maybe she needs to make her own experiences ... but to be honest, at what cost? What if she gets seriously hurt?

 

Maybe i am overreacting. I am just a bit protective of her... like a younger sister.

There’s some history that would explain that but i don’t want to get into it now.

 

Anyways, i can just hope for the best right now. Maybe he’s alright and they will be super happy together. I wish that for her.

[Shanex]

Quite honestly. I don’t drop the L word easily as most guys.

 

I have been with a decent number of women now, and have said it very genuinely about 3 times. Likewise SevenCity.

 

I am not quite sure how does that help guys to get laid... on a mere second date?

 

I would assume most sane women would be creeped out.

 

I usually wait for months to say it, when we have been on x dates, have had a number of sex sessions and so forth. Not out of the blue like some teenager who is tired of his hands.

[Romantic_Antics]

I read a couple of articles last night dealing with this very same thing and they both gave me a perspective on it that I can agree with. In one of the articles, the author said the guy she was dating told her he loved her on the second date. It was only a week later, but they talked every single day. The end of the article should be touching to anyone who has a pulse.

 

Here are both articles for a fresh perspective on this topic:

 

We Can Relate: He said ?I love you? ? after one week!

 

Can You Really Fall in Love TOO Fast? | GalTime

Edited June 5, 2018 by Romantic_Antics

[d0nnivain]

Yes i am not just scared he’s some tool, i am scared he’s an actual bad person who may harm her.

Then again, i have trouble trusting people. But when i was her age i also would travel 4 hours on a train to be with some guy i never met before.

But i know better now.

 

* * *

 

Maybe i am overreacting. I am just a bit protective of her... like a younger sister.

 

 

He sounds more like a guy with poor boundaries / socially awkward / desperate for love OR a player. I need more context / tone of voice to tell you which.

 

 

I don't see anything about him being genuinely dangerous, except for maybe breaking her heart. You are being a tad overprotective on the true danger scale.

[heavenonearth]

He sounds more like a guy with poor boundaries / socially awkward / desperate for love OR a player. I need more context / tone of voice to tell you which.

 

 

I don't see anything about him being genuinely dangerous, except for maybe breaking her heart. You are being a tad overprotective on the true danger scale.

 

Yeah maybe. I think I just thought he was being creepy when I checked his FB. He posts a lot of dark stuff...

[IndigoNight]

Indigo. Does your hubby's physical look play a role in your passion or is it just his personality that is the hook or both looks and personality?

 

It may sound strange, but our feelings for each other go beyond simple looks, and personality. Our passion for one another is soul deep. Yes, he is attractive. So am I. However, I wanted him before I ever knew what he looked like. Actually my back was to the door when he walked in, and it felt like I had been hit by a huge wave of energy. The energy his body put off in that moment was, and still is, a HUGE turn on.

 

Our personalities often clash, and we really don't have that much in common, except when it comes to how we raised our children. He is very attractive, but he definitely wasn't my type (and if we divorced, I would not be likely to date someone who looked like him again), and I had to get past his facial hair which is normally a pretty major turn off for me (there is a reason why that I do not want to discuss). I am not his normal type either. He has never dated anyone who looked even remotely like me (I was taller and more athletic than his usual short and soft and round preference).

 

Most people don't understand that what my husband and I have is a chemistry with one another so deeply rooted, that not much else matters. A simple touch can take away a bad day. A lingering kiss can soothe pain.Just feeling his naked body, or hearing his voice, is an instant turn on. Just my touch (my hand running across his chest or arms, not stroking him intimately) is all he needs to be ready. It works for us, that's all that matters to us. We stopped trying to figure out the logic, or reason, years ago.

[SevenCity]

Yeah maybe. I think I just thought he was being creepy when I checked his FB. He posts a lot of dark stuff...

 

I’m gonna throw up a red flag for the fact that you are FB stalking your friend’s new guy.

 

That seems to be crossing the line a wee bit when coupled with the history of sabotaging her previous relationship.

 

I’m sure you feel it’s coming from a place of love, but I would re-evaluate your role in your friend’s love life.

 

Unless I’m mistaken, she is an adult and you are not her mother, correct?

[heavenonearth]

I’m gonna throw up a red flag for the fact that you are FB stalking your friend’s new guy.

 

That seems to be crossing the line a wee bit when coupled with the history of sabotaging her previous relationship.

 

I’m sure you feel it’s coming from a place of love, but I would re-evaluate your role in your friend’s love life.

 

Unless I’m mistaken, she is an adult and you are not her mother, correct?

 

 

Sabotaging her previous relationship? Me? Excuse me, but you don't know the details, ok? So please don't judge. The end of her last relationship had nothing to do with me. I wish it would have, though, then she would have been without the idiot much sooner.

 

She showed me his FB, I did not stalk it on my own. I don't even know the guy's full name.

[d0nnivain]

Yeah maybe. I think I just thought he was being creepy when I checked his FB. He posts a lot of dark stuff...

 

Then keep an eye on the situation. Talk to your friend about what you read & ask her Qs.

 

I'd say something like

 

Hey, I checked out your new beau's FB. There is some dark stuff on there. Have you read it?

 

Then ask her what she thinks. If she hasn't read it, show it to her. As long as you have made her aware it exists, without you making judgments, for now stand down. You can express concern but support. Assure her that you have her back but refrain from telling her what to do.

[heavenonearth]

Then keep an eye on the situation. Talk to your friend about what you read & ask her Qs.

 

I'd say something like

 

Hey, I checked out your new beau's FB. There is some dark stuff on there. Have you read it?

 

Then ask her what she thinks. If she hasn't read it, show it to her. As long as you have made her aware it exists, without you making judgments, for now stand down. You can express concern but support. Assure her that you have her back but refrain from telling her what to do.

 

Yeah I never told her what to do, of course.

That's not up for me to decide.

But I did tell her that I find him a bit shady and I am worried about his true intentions.

[d0nnivain]

But I did tell her that I find him a bit shady and I am worried about his true intentions.

 

See, that's a bit judgy.

 

Ask questions rather than offer opinions: "What did you think of the posts?" "Does he make you happy?" "Do you think he'd ever really do [whatever the post said]?" "What do you guys talk about when you are together?"