Action or patience?

[RecordProducer]

I have never met anyone who has more strength, energy, and optimism than myself. I have been through a lot of awful situations in my life that had lasted very long and still have retained the zest for life. I can say I am happy by default, cheerful for no special reason, and I believe that I can achieve anything I want in my life. But in order to do that I have to get up and just do something.

 

My whole life is just virtual reality. I live in dreams that never come true. I feel like sitting on a deserted island and watching boats with people passing by. I feel like standing on the shore of my life while it runs without me.

 

I am not depressed. I am not angry. I am not even numb. Quite the opposite -I feel like I have to do something with my life. My talent is being wasted, I have no friends, no love, no sex, no fun...

 

My best years have passed in waiting for my life to start. Sometimes I wonder if I should wait for the best forever or perhaps just grab what I can have and just improve my life greatly. After all, who knows what is best long-term?

 

It is like waiting to become a rock star and not accepting anything except the best record deal. It will never happen. All stars have started as small night-club entertainers. Maybe I should just take a little step and move further from the start point. Maybe what I am waiting for will never happen or will not be what I expect. Maybe it is just not worth waiting for.

 

I feel like other people have lives, go out, pursue their dreams, careers, make love... And what do I do? Sit by my computer and wait for happiness to come and knock on my door! Is it really how you achieve your goals in life, by waiting?

 

I feel like I have voluntarily imprisoned myself. I want to feel the taste of life. I want to make some big move. A good book or a night out or gym subscription or dancing classes will not change my life. I want love, sex, career, friends, and fun. I want to know that not every day will be mere continuation of the previous one.

 

Thank you for reading this. Would love to hear your thoughts.

[Art_Critic]

I feel like other people have lives, go out, pursue their dreams, careers, make love... And what do I do? Sit by my computer and wait for happiness to come and knock on my door! Is it really how you achieve your goals in life, by waiting?

 

I hear ya on that .. I sometimes think the same way.

I have to remind myself that being divorced and 42 and not dating anyone special is not a reason to feel sorry for myself.. My life isn't passing me by.

I own businesses, have tons of family and friends and go to the Ga mountains every weekend .. albeight alone but I know that someday I won't alway's be alone ..Staring at this computer maybe I can stare a date out of match.cm or matchmaker.cm.. but here I sit replying to your post instead

:laugh:

 

I think we make our own happiness and it is just a decision to be made to be happy... So decide to be happy RP ..

[RecordProducer]

I hear ya on that .. I sometimes think the same way.

I think we make our own happiness and it is just a decision to be made to be happy... So decide to be happy RP ..

 

Thanks for your reply, Arty. We're not quite in the same boat though. You have everything except for the significant other. I am not content with any aspect of my life, except with my children. But I am not an animal and can't be happy to just eat and poop and take care of my offsprings.

 

I am so tired of being lonely. I am so tired of being horny. I am tired of answering "nothing" when people ask me what I did for the weekend. I am tired of listening how amazing my music is and not being able to do anything about it. I am sick of my room - my prison. I am sick of my computer. I am sick of hearing empty words.

 

How can someone feel good about themselves if they are doing nothing? Shouldn't I just get up and do something to change the eternal silence of my life?

[Art_Critic]

You need a vacation .....

 

Not a life adjustment .. It sounds like you have lost the appriecation that we get from watching the sun rise or set .. or the little things in life..

 

It sounds to me that you are just down in the dumps and need a pickme up.

 

If it's a life change you want then why not do it ??? How about moving to where your BF lives ??

 

And of course you could come to Georgia and I'll take care of you being horny

 

 

By the way .. you aren't truly alone.. you have us here on LS .. and we have you ..

[RecordProducer]

You need a vacation .....

Not a life adjustment .. It sounds like you have lost the appreciation that we get from watching the sun rise or set .. or the little things in life..

It sounds to me that you are just down in the dumps and need a pickme up.

Regarding this, I have posted a nice story I got today in an email right bellow.

If it's a life change you want then why not do it ??? How about moving to where your BF lives ??

 

Well the problem is that my BF of one year lives in the US and we can only be together if we get married and he doesn't want to think of marriage right now. He says he is not ready and doesn't know when and if will ever be ready. At one point about 2-3 weeks ago, he agreed to some kind of experimental marriage with no strings attached, but it seems to me that he changed his mind about it. And he already got cold feet in June (we were supposed to get married, he even brought all the documents, but he changed his mind at the last moment).

 

So basically I am waiting for him to make up his mind while I have other opportunities and I am not open to them as long as I am with him. Of course, I love him, but I see him once in 3-4 months for a week or so. It's not really satisfactory and fulfilling. I need someone to be with every day. And this waiting for him prevents me from starting many other things in my life as well(I won't go into details right now).

And of course you could come to Georgia and I'll take care of you being horny

 

Hahah! That was cute!

 

By the way .. you aren't truly alone.. you have us here on LS .. and we have you ..

 

I know. You're my only window in life right now. Luv you, guys!

[Art_Critic]

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

 

 

Awesome .. quite a great little read !!

[Art_Critic]

I know. You're my only window in life right now. Luv you, guys!

 

 

Perhaps you have made your boyfriend a golfball and really he is a pebble..

 

Meaning maybe you have given him too much room in your life and need to open that room for someone new.

 

Words to think about ..

[FataMorgana]

 

I know. You're my only window in life right now. Luv you, guys!

 

Hey RP, we love you too, it's always so enjoyable and sooo much fun reading all your posts. LS wouldn't be the same without you.

 

Sorry to hear things feel that way for you at the moment, from all your upbeat posts and the common sense that comes through all your posts I find it almost incredible that someone so special as you can feel so down and isolated.

 

I agree with Arty, when you start feeling like that about everything around you it's time for a holiday. You know whay they say ... a change is as good as a holiday....well, sometimes it can work the other way around. Being in a holiday and taking time off your everyday routines can make you realise things about your everyday life that you can't see while you're in. thngs like what the golf balls, pebbels and sand are vs what they maybe should be ( great story by the way)

 

I would also recommend action rather than patience (maybe that's my personality though) but if you don't try you'll never know and all that you try even if it fails can always put it down to good experience and try to learn something from it. Too much patience can wear you out sometimes... or it does it for me anyway..says the adventure seeking always full of enery Aries

 

anything we can do?

[Barby]

Hi....wow...I must say I've felt so much how you posted that you're feeling now....I mean really known how it feels to feel like the world was passing you by...(in a sense) and not really being depressed or "in a rut" but just kinda......"there":(

 

 

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way...obviously when I went through this it was for a very different reason. My "issues/problems" were based on different factors...I had always been shy and quiet (even as a young young girl).

Growing older only intensified my self doubt, shyness, ect. (not that you have that).....to make a long story short..I stayed home with my family a lot and didn't have much of a social life...I got married & divorced early

(married @18 and divorced @21) My obesity had a lot to do with why I didn't go out to clubs, bars, ect. That coupled with my shyness and trying to get over and heal from an abusive relationship allowed me to isolate myself from everyone outside cyber-space and my close family. It was like this for 3 years or so..............

 

 

 

Last december I decided to do something that changed my life forever! I had GBS and in the past 8 months have lost 185lbs (if ya don't believe me I have pics! Hahahaha!) and finally gained a full healthy life. I have lost most (if not all) my shyness and though I'll never be "loud" and out going....I have gotten a job (my first ever) and met many new people, made friends and began dating again w/out feeling isolated, scared, ect, ect....

 

 

I am sorry that I've intruded on your post but basically I'm trying to say to get out there and go for it.. I highly doubt that waiting for love, happiness, ect "in front of the computer" (using your words) will acomplish anything more than feeling worse...questioning your current life/situation, ect.

 

Even if your dreams aren't as big as becoming a rock star for instance, figure out what exactly goals you'd like to reach, what you'd like to have happen in your life say in the next 6 months.............then see what needs to be done and go for it. :D :D

 

Okay I know my advice sucks but I'm trying here....

[Outcast]

You don't need a holiday, you need a life change.

 

It is like waiting to become a rock star and not accepting anything except the best record deal. It will never happen

 

You are exactly right. Every once in a long while someone will be plucked out of obscurity to become a star but that's a one in a zillion chance. The rest of them work their butts off for years and years. A couple of my favorite artists started their careers singing on street corners - literally. They have gained large followings at home and abroad but it took years of hard work.

 

Is it really how you achieve your goals in life, by waiting?

 

Absolutely not. You have to set goals and work toward them actively. Read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or any other motivational guru's stuff. Every one will tell you you must set firm goals and work towards them daily.

 

Shouldn't I just get up and do something to change the eternal silence of my life?

 

You already know the answer. YES.

 

Well the problem is that my BF of one year lives in the US and we can only be together if we get married and he doesn't want to think of marriage right now. He says he is not ready and doesn't know when and if will ever be ready

 

Look. You don't want to hear this but he is never going to marry you. You will waste a bunch of years of your life waiting for him and regret it. It's time to cut him loose, quit waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue you, and make your own future.

[RecordProducer]

OMG, Barby, FM, and Art, you're incredible! You made me feel sooooo much better!!! :love:

I like and appreciate your advice. Thank you. Fata M., you're already doing a lot by listening to my crap and putting effort into advising me and consoling me.

Unfortunately, it's not the right time for a holiday in the next couple months or so as my twins are starting school (1st grade) this week. Besides, I hate going on vacations alone and if I go with someone else it would be cheating so if I would do that I would first have to break up with my BF.

 

And that's a very hard thing for me to do, although I think it will happen sooner or later because I truly doubt that he will ever be ready to marry me. He is having fun in his life and doesn't need me and my children in it.

 

Otherwise, there are quite a few men interested in me, one of them (ex-bf)desperately in love with me. The problem is that I am head over heals over my BF and don't feel like being with anybody else. But for how long should I wait for him? He is 48 (I am 30), no kids, two short marriages behind, he says he loves me too much, and thinks I am wonderful, and loves my kids, but isn't ready for marriage right now.

 

So what do I do with him if he visits me for the 5th time and doesn't propose to/marry me? Should I just wait patiently or move on and try to get over him? And if I wait then for how long since we see each other every few months for 7-12 days? It's really frustrating to spend so many hours every day in yahoo and not being able to touch him for months and knowing that we'll probably never end up together. Am I crazy for having these thoughts? Am I being too impulsive?

[RecordProducer]

You don't need a holiday, you need a life change.

You have to set goals and work toward them actively.

 

I guess you're right.

 

Look. You don't want to hear this but he is never going to marry you. You will waste a bunch of years of your life waiting for him and regret it. It's time to cut him loose, quit waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue you, and make your own future.

 

I am working on accepting the reality.

 

Thanks for your reply, Outcast. I apprciate it.

[Barby]

So what do I do with him if he visits me for the 5th time and doesn't propose to/marry me?

 

Honestly there really isn't anything that you can do other than just accept the fact that he didn't propose and then you can evaluate how important your relationship with him is (limited time physically spent together, limited love making, not very much physical affection except every few months for a week or so) and not knowing for how long, losing time all the while falling more and more in love/growing attached more-so to him. Continue to wait around and hope for him to change his mind, spend so many nights alone awake wondering what he's doing, if he's alone as well or with somone else, ect, ect.

 

-vs-

 

Accepting the fact that he's told you that he's not ready for marriage and probably won't be anytime soon.....(despite that he's middle aged and already had two failed marriages & a young woman who loves him, who wants to dedicate her life to him). Then once you've realized and accepted this fact, move on (even if you remain in contact with him as friends or....) and find someone who seeks and has similar ideas/goals about their future (ie marriage, kids, ect). Moving on is NEVER easy and even though it's not the only choice, sometimes it's the absolute best thing one can do for themselves.

 

 

Should I just wait patiently or move on and try to get over him? And if I wait then for how long since we see each other every few months for 7-12 days? It's really frustrating to spend so many hours every day in yahoo and not being able to touch him for months and knowing that we'll probably never end up together.

 

 

I think if you're questioning it, and since you mentioned before he doesn't want to be married anytime soon but you're interested in marriage....my opinion is that honestly you probably should move on and find someone who'll love you and who you can obtain your life goals with.

 

The statement you made that I made "bold" really stood out to me.....it sounds like to me that you know in your heart of hearts that you two aren't going to end up together despite what you feel for him or how much time you spend waiting on him. I'm sorry that love is so hard and that anyone has to go through what you're going through. Sadly it's a part of life/love (as we all know too well) but with the distance between the two of you and only being able to physically see each other every few months you have an additional strain on the normal relationship woes.

 

Am I crazy for having these thoughts? Am I being too impulsive?

 

No!!! I think it would be crazy for you NOT to wonder about this or have thoughts/doubts about where things will end up and rather in fact he'll ever come around and change his mind about marrying you. Impulsive...? Again....no!! It sounds like you're taking time and seeking advice on what you should do/consider doing -vs- making a quick choice on a whim and thinking about it and questioning it later.

[RecordProducer]

Oh, Barby, thank you so much for exploring my problem so thoroughly! You made me feel much better about my feelings. Anyhoo, I have good news. I asked him if his promise that we'll get married next time he comes is still valid and he said "yes" and that nothing has changed.

 

I actually did break up with him a few weeks ago and that's when he agreed to marry me. It hurts me a lot that he didn't actually propose to me hoping that we'll be together forever. But at least he doesn't want to lose me and is willing to give us a chance.

 

But what matters to me above all is that he loves me. It doesn't matter that he is afraid to be married, right? I understand that he had awful experience with his two ex-wives and is afraid of final commitment. But I also understand that most of the things he says (that he's not ready, that he'd be wasting his time if I am not the one, etc.) are bullkrap. I know he loves me and no matter how scared he is of living with me and regardless of the fact that he won't propose to me but just "agreed" to marry me, at least he is marrying me.

 

Of course if he doesn't, that will be it. I told him he would never see me again. I mean after getting cold feet twice, I will certainly not cherish any hopes about the future. If he stands me up again, I will know that he definitely doesn't love me. And nothing he says will convince me that he does. If I am not worth taking the chance only because the marriage might fail then it's certainly not real love. I will move on and be with someone who wants me and wants to have me in his life.

 

I guess the thing that adds to my bad mood is also my mother's negative attitudes about everything in my life. I didn't even realize how miserable she makes me feel every day until I recently stayed alone with the kids for 3 weeks.

[FataMorgana]

RP, I'm at it again, the other post was so short I was at work. Finaly got home and have more time, but your post has been in my mind the whole afternoon so I thought I'd have another go

 

I can think of so many things to say, examples to give you, but not sure I want to put them all out there. Unfortunately can't PM you as I havent posted enough, I prefer reading rather than writing, so I'll try a few and maybe more details later...

 

Outcast is so right, you really need to set your goals and work towards them everyday. And they don't have to be huge, can try with small steps and if things don't go as planned (results not achieved) can always re-evaluate, but at least you need to start and action on them...

 

things with finding friends and having fun... I'm sure you made more friends on LS than you believe but more tangible...

 

you know how you said you don't want a dancing class or gym membership, etc. I know what you mean, but sometimes things like that can take a totally unexpected turn. Find something that you like doing, getting out of the house and doing it reguraly - means first you get out of the house (not locked in the "prison"), do something that you like (ie having fun) and meeting other people that like at least one thing same as you and, in time can turn into friends. I went through something similar in the past 2 years and surprised myself silly in such a positive way, all I needed was a change in attitude towards how I perceived my interest. Now i am heaps fitter, fill more of my spare time than I can afford and found some great female friends which I haven't had in 15 years and almost resigned myself I never would.

 

Also, about having to gett married so you can be together because of living in different countries, it really is a hard decision to make. I've been through it and I got cold feet as well, as much as I loved the other person (my highschool sweetheart that I lost my virginity to, a wonderful kind sexy man). I have seroius issues with the marriage idea (never been married before, but come from divorced parents, typical behaviour, blah, blah) and as much as I loved him coudn't get to marry him even if it meant losing him. do I wonder, yes, sure I do .... 10 years later... still.

I was going to suggest talking to him trying to understand why is marriage such a big deal for him in a negative way, that might help you make a decision as to what you need to do (ie stay or go). Anyway, good to hear you already talked to him and he still thinks yes.

 

go RP! hope things get better for you .... any other thoughts or issues you just ask away, hope I haven't bored you stiff with my rambles yet

[NewLee40]

RP, I have so enjoyed getting to know you through your posts since coming to LS. Your input has always been dead on, smart, and all with a sense of humor. I have no doubt you are going to realize your dreams, and it does seem you have been carrying around a bit of dead weight that might be holding you back. The good news is that you were strong enough and emotionally healthy enough to catch that and take the right action.

 

Will waiting help you achieve your dreams? I think the answer is yes and no. Like you, I feel like I live a fairly isolated life. Being a single mom for the last 11 years, the internet has literally become my portal to the outside world. For the last three years I've held a job in which I'm the sole person in the office 99% of the time. That just leaves more time for the internet and cultivating those virtual friendships and my virtual life. Most of the people I call my friends are from my participation on forums, or people that I've met through online personals. These are different times we live in.

 

While taking a class, or taking up a hobby won't necessarily fulfill you, they are a means of getting out in the world and being with real people. It won't happen overnight, but in time you will connect with a few of the people you meet, girls and guys. You will build your social circle outside the virtual world and you won't be spending your weekends doing nothing.

 

Regardless of what happens with your BF. He lives so far away from you that you need to make sure you have a life outside of waiting for him from visit to visit.

 

For years, I said the same as you. I feel like I'm just this sack of untapped potential. I know I have the talent, the intelligence, and everything else to have a great life, the life that I want. And I sit on it, I procrastinate, I accept mediocrity in myself and in others. I guess I'm just afraid. Of success? I don't know.

 

That seems to be changing, ever so slowly. I hit a really low point about three years ago, and decided to make some changes. Lost a lot of weight, got rid of some toxic relationships, simplified my life, devoted my energy to the golf balls (my health, my kids, and completed my degree), and now I have actually all the makings of the kind of life that I envisioned, but I'm still not quite there yet.

 

Its time for me to step out in the world and be a player. I've been laying the groundwork for a life, but its still not enough. Starting a new job where I'll actually be around people will help. I"m going to get to travel as well, which is a new experience for me.

 

But, its not all entirely on your back. There's help. Emerson is quoted as saying, "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

 

In my own journey, I found this to be true in a profound way. Just last month, it seemed like in a single week everything that I'd been working so hard towards came together at once. A business that I'd been wanting to start, (for the sheer love of it, not for money) but kept pushing towards the future, was launched through a series of events that can only be described as providential. After years of diligently searching for a new job with a bigger paycheck, I got 4 offers in one week, each one better than the last. I even got a big check in the mail from the sperm donor for back child support that I didn't expect. What could get better about that week, right? Well at the end of it, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was devastated and undone by it. Everyone kept telling me that it was not the worst thing that happened that week, but possibly the best. Its taking me time to see that, but I know its true.

 

Anyway, I don't mean to hijack your thread with my own story. I just want you to know that sometimes it may seem like you are running around in circles and getting nowhere. You may be getting further along towards your "life" than you realize. You just haven't seen it all come together just yet.

 

Keep at it, and you will. And do get out some. Do something new and step outside your comfort zone, just for the sake of doing it.

 

But, also don't underestimate the power of your virtual friends as well. I know for my business, I've received a tremendous amount of help from people I've never laid eyes on. You never know where your opportunities may come from.

 

I fear this is rambling so I'll stop. I hope you can grab something you can use out of this meandering diatribe.

[whichwayisup]

RP, you're a very strong person and because of your inner strength you will know when to say "enough" if it comes to that. You love him, you want to marry him and who knows how long you should wait for him..Only you know that. Do what you feel is right for you and your children when that time comes.

 

My best years have passed in waiting for my life to start. Sometimes I wonder if I should wait for the best forever or perhaps just grab what I can have and just improve my life greatly. After all, who knows what is best long-term?

 

I'm in that place right now. My life is starting over abit too. I feel like my previous job, my life and how stressed out I used to get is behind me now...With the help of therapy I have become a stronger person and am learning NOT to be scared of life. Im not sure if I am scared of success or scared of failing? I don't put myself out there enough either way and that's not good.

 

Don't think long term as all we have is the now. There is so much out there that is out of our control. Do what makes you happy now, the rest will just fall into place and happen as it was meant to happen.

 

It is like waiting to become a rock star and not accepting anything except the best record deal. It will never happen. All stars have started as small night-club entertainers. Maybe I should just take a little step and move further from the start point. Maybe what I am waiting for will never happen or will not be what I expect. Maybe it is just not worth waiting for.

 

You have alot of wonderful things in your life! Your music is so beautiful and if you want to pursue it further, DO IT. You have the talent and the resources to make it happen...Take that step! I'm slowly learning that it's okay to take chances and get disappointed...It all comes down to what you do afterwards

and how it's all handled.

 

There's alot inside you that will take over. I bet that when you're peforming nothing else in the world exists - All that matters in that moment is the singing. It's got to be such a rush and a feeling of nothing could ruin it. Take that energy and focus it into something more.

 

You will meet more people and gain friendships along the way.

[alphamale]

I want to feel the taste of life. I want to make some big move.

why don't we get married RP then you can come to the U.S. and start your life with a green card and everything...

 

oh BTW, its only a deal if you really look like your pics....

[RecordProducer]

Alpha, thanks for your practical solution, I will take it as a compliment. And no, I don't look like my pics in person. I look better!

 

Lee and WWIU, your posts not only made me feel so much better but they gave me additional motivation, ideas, and stamina to hang on. I am touched by the concern you expressed and I am really surprised to find out that for the first time in my life I am taken as a human being and not as a sex object by men and a threat by women. That's why I don't have friends and that's why I love my virtual friends - all of you. Whenever I meet new people in person, one of the following situations happens:

1. They are not good company in my opinion (boring, stupid, mean, low class, etc.);

2. They hit on me (90% of guys I meet even guys that are supposed to work with me); or

3. They are jealous of me.

 

I will definitely take dancing classes, because I love to dance, it's a great exercise, and because my BF is a fantastic dancer so if I marry him I can be his equal dancing partner.

 

The career thing is more complicated to be explained here, it would take me at least 50 pages to describe my situation and how the music industry works.

 

WWIU, I guess you're right when you say that I am strong. But sometimes I feel like I am alone in this world and everybody is working against me: my mother who always gives me a hard time, my ex-husband, my BF who got cold feet and finally reluctantly agreed to marry me, the people I meet who just want to use me, screw me, and offend me.

 

Nobody understands how much LS means to me. It's the only comfort (besides my children and BF) that I really get. It's only my world. I turn it on and off at my desire. I can give and receive at my desire. I can be myself here, be completely honest and open without being afraid that I will lose something. It's a superficial skim of human relationships as all we have here are words. But it's amazing how words can cure our pain and help us find significant solutions in life.

 

I definitely feel limited by many aspects in my life. And it's starting to hurt me a lot because I feel that I am ready to start so many things and my energy is being wasted.

 

But here we come to what Lee said and it was a really amazing though:

"I just want you to know that sometimes it may seem like you are running around in circles and getting nowhere. You may be getting further along towards your "life" than you realize. You just haven't seen it all come together just yet."

 

This was a great thought and made me think that I am not really wasting my time. I am accumulating energy necessary for the future, probably as a form of rage that will help me appreciate life more, compromise, and not take things for granted. I am also investing in my relationship and if it wasn't meant to be, it will show me that sometimes no matter how much you want something to happen it just wasn't meant to be. So I might settle for less and at the end it might turn out that it was more - a better choice long-term.

 

And again, thank you guys, you're wonderful and really smart, your posts were constructive and helped me a lot.

[Art_Critic]

Nobody understands how much LS means to me. It's the only comfort (besides my children and BF) that I really get. It's only my world. I turn it on and off at my desire. I can give and receive at my desire. I can be myself here, be completely honest and open without being afraid that I will lose something.

 

I know ... LS means the same to me.. I even find myself putting aside my work.. ( like tonight , I'm at work ) in order to be give and receive.

We all on LS become a tight knit group of people that we rely on at times in order to stay sane

[FataMorgana]

I know ... LS means the same to me..

 

We all on LS become a tight knit group of people that we rely on at times in order to stay sane

 

same for me.

 

Just that you guys (most who posted on this thread) are a lot more outspoken that I am, I tend to read more, but need to start putting more out there cause that's how you can try to help.

 

I even find myself putting aside my work.. ( like tonight , I'm at work ) in order to be give and receive.

 

naughty, naughty .... says me who's doing this at work when I really shoudn't, will be here late trying to finish my work ..again!

[Jayhawks]

I think you have to decide if you can wait for him and if an occasional visit is enough for you. You are depressed and to get yourself out of your funk you need motivation, a goal. Tell your b/f that you will wait a certain amount of time. If he can't decide on love with you or to be without you then you will make his decision for him. You need to do this for your own emotional health. You are worth an answer from him. Don't let him string you along and have the courage to make that decision if he cannot. Your life is what you make it so decide on happiness with or without him.

 

As far as the rest of your life, make goals for yourself. I know it sounds silly but they work and if you believe in yourself they can make you proactive rather than sitting on the side lines. Get up and be someone. Don't wait for tomorrow, do it today.

 

Peace, RP...

[RecordProducer]

Thank you so much, Jayhawks! You are absolutely right. And he knows that the next visit is the deadline. He said we'll do it. Honestly I would wait for him for 10 years, our love and his personality are worth it... but I know that if he doesn't do it the next time, he just won't do it EVER. And I am not a masochist.

[JS17]

OMG RP, I LOVE this story!!!!

[Miffy]

RP, it was really interesting to read a post started by you, I must say you reply to lots and they always make me smile but I didn't really know much about you.

 

How old are your twins by the way? UK so don't understand 1st grade.

 

You sound like you have a lot going for you, you are pretty, intelligent, can sing, write and produce songs. So why aren't you 'out there'?

 

I guess maybe your twins, my children are 6 and 4 and it can make dreams into reality a little restrictive!