mortensorchid Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 I met this guy on Facebook recently. We are both fans of a certain band (whose name I will not mention here), he knew two other gals (a mother and daughter respectively) who I met on the MegaBus from here to CHicago a few years ago who I see now once a year. Those relationships are a bit odd, but I digress ... He and his wife are breaking up. He has called me a few times crying because he was moving out of the house and it was affecting him hard. I comforted him because he was, after all, reaching out for support and that's what I do for people. He told me about all that he and his soon to be ex wife are going through now, plus with how it's affecting his kids (who are all teens). I said I was sorry to hear these things, but this is why I don't date anymore. That surprised him. I said I've been burned so badly by others with rejection after rejection that I can't take it anymore and I have hung it up for the time being. He said he was thinking of asking me out. I was shocked to hear that he was ever considering something like that. I've tried to introduce him to new things - I take him out to theater and we meet up from time to time to take his mind off of things and he can trust me because I know where to find the best of the best entertainments. I don't think what I did, to reject his potential advance, was the wrong thing. He is going through a lot and he wants the pain of his divorce to be over with, but that has nothing to do with me or others. I tell him I'm sure he's sad and crazy right now but I don't want to get involved with someone like him who is needy and potentially rebounding. He's a good man, but ... He's emotionally crazy at this moment and will not calm down for a long time thanks to his divorce. Adulting ... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 He said he was thinking of asking me out. I was shocked to hear that he was ever considering something like that. Really? I saw that one coming from "I met this guy on facebook". I was all ready to reply "he just wants to get in your pants" but it seems he already showed his hand. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 I saw it coming from "I met this guy on Facebook recently" and "he and his wife are breaking up. He has called me crying..." This guy is looking for a soft place to fall. He is definitely not ready to be dating other people yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 mortenschild I think you know that he's misinterpreting your friendship for something more. Hold tight to your boundaries. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 what's your question mortensorchid?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2018 Author Share Posted June 8, 2018 A slight update on this situation: He texted me asking if I wanted to go to the beach with him last night because they were having an event with food trucks down there. I said okay. He is escalating in terms of his craziness, I didn't see it until just that moment. He said his divorce is horrible (whose isn't?), he will probably loose custody of his youngest who is the only one of the three kids who is under 18. I said I was sorry. He also said he was having hallucinations (visual and auditory), and he was going to take his mom to another city to visit friends/family that weekend. She lives in a group home for those with mental health problems. I was like "Oh Lord …" He also said he doesn't talk to the two gals who we had kind of networked through. I was wary of him after that, I was glad we got through the evening alright but I said I was on no uncertain terms going to see him again. I texted my friend E asking how she was doing, she said she was in St. Paul, MN visiting friends there. I said he is getting more and more needy and seems to be escalating, she agreed. She said we would talk about this when she returned. I will just let it stand. I will not reach out to him any more, I will just let it be. He's going down a path and I can't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 He also said he was having hallucinations (visual and auditory)... RUN!! mortensorchid, RUN!! Run fast, run hard and run away!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Agrees. Run as fast and as far away as you can get... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted June 11, 2018 Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 Agrees. Run as fast and as far away as you can get... I will. I promise one and all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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