Ex GF chose rebound over me

[brokenheart901]

This is about to be long so just bare with me.

 

Summary:

I was with my ex gf for a total of about a 13-14 months. We had ups and downs like everyone. In that span of time we broke up once, then got back together, then broke up again (she broke up with me both times). I went NC for 2 months and then hit her up to get my stuff I had left at her dorm. I went to her dorm to pick up my stuff. We hooked up and then she told me she's seeing someone and if hooking up still meant anything. Long story short, she says she wants to get back, and this new guy isnt anything serious, and talks mad crap about him. She even breaks up with him in front of me and everything goes amazing for a week. Then she tells me that the other guy wants to work things out but she ignored him.

 

I notice her acting different and distant and then she tells me that she doesnt feel right about us and her gut isnt agreeing. Then we both decide to end it (I agree with her decision). A week goes by and she tells me that shes finished laundry and let her know when i can get my stuff (this was other stuff). I said id let her know. A few days go by and she texts me asking when ill pick up my stuff and we decide a day.

 

The day comes and i go to get my stuff. Its raining and we're just chilling on her bed, laughing and giggling like nothing happned. Then we get close and start making out. This goes on and I make her climax (no sex). After that she tells me that whatever happened shouldnt have happened cuz theres someone else in the picture and its not fair to him. And then she starts acting distant in person and says we cant keep hooking up. She walks to me to my car and gives me the biggest hug and starts crying saying im making this really hard. I tell her we couldve worked it but then she starts comparing me to the new guy saying he makes her feel special, gives her respect, and what not (she'd only been seeing this dude for a month initially, before breaking up with him for me). She tells me that he made her feel more respected in a month than I did in a year (hurt like a mf when she said this) and he goes out of his way to care about her. She was kind of being distant. SHe tells me we cant keep meeting up cuz if im around, she wont be able to love anyone else.

 

I go home, we text a bit and she tells me that she cant get me out of her head even when she's trying. She asks me why shes not able to move on and why shes even thinking about me. She calls me and we talk for an hour about random stuff. She then gives me a "friendly" adivce suggesting i join dating sites and give other girls a chance and be more open to them (I wasnt really open with her). The next day the text convo was very dry and so we stopped. And we havent talked since then. We still have each other on social media though.

 

My emotions are mixed right now. Part of me got my answer and wants to move on, but part of me has this false hope that she'll come back (if she left him once for me, maybe she can again?) At the same time, i dont want her to keep making comparisons in her head. I've heard of ex's going back to their exes, but this was the first time i experienced an ex going to a rebound that she knew for like a month. It also surprises me how much smack she was talking about this guy when she broke up with him in front of me saying "he's clingy, controlling, insecure" and two weeks later she's with him again. Makes me feel kinda some way that she chose him over me.

[ExpatInItaly]

This guy isn't her rebound, really. She was quite clearly never very serious about you, to be brutally honest. You let her treat you as her Fall-Back Boy.

 

You have to let her go. She is far too immature for a relationship and she is going to keep using you as her security blanket without actually committing to you. She doesn't have those feelings for you.

[brokenheart901]

This guy isn't her rebound, really. She was quite clearly never very serious about you, to be brutally honest. You let her treat you as her Fall-Back Boy.

 

You have to let her go. She is far too immature for a relationship and she is going to keep using you as her security blanket without actually committing to you. She doesn't have those feelings for you.

 

But she even said it herself that she was using him to get over me. And why would she let me hook up with her if she was that serious with this guy?

[bummer]

She left him for you. kinda

 

She left you for him. kinda

 

Say you get her back, when she bounces off you to the next bigger and better thing but keeps you as a back-pocket puppy dog... then what? You like being treated like a yo-yo?

 

Self-respect, buddy. Know it. Earn it. Keep it.

[Marc878]

Being a puppet on someone's string will make you dizzy

[brokenheart901]

Yeaa. Its just so crazy cuz when I went to meet her we hooked up and stuff and shes calling me baby (even when shes with this guy) but then later shes just like we cant keep meeting up cuz we hook up and its not fair to the other guy

[ExpatInItaly]

But she even said it herself that she was using him to get over me. And why would she let me hook up with her if she was that serious with this guy?

 

And do you find her to be a particularly reliable person? OP, she's full of equine manure. Actions speak louder than words.

 

She "lets" you hook up with her because she's the type who can't handle not having attention from a guy. You're easy and convenient, so she turns to you because she knows you will always say yes. It's not because she loves you or some such thing. You are the filler when her latest guy isn't giving her the attention she wants.

[brokenheart901]

And do you find her to be a particularly reliable person? OP, she's full of equine manure. Actions speak louder than words.

 

She "lets" you hook up with her because she's the type who can't handle not having attention from a guy. You're easy and convenient, so she turns to you because she knows you will always say yes. It's not because she loves you or some such thing. You are the filler when her latest guy isn't giving her the attention she wants.

 

I really dont know how to move on from this girl. She was my first everything and we met up after 2 months and everything felt so normal. We clicked again and she dumped him. Hurting a lot rn, cuz this time she has someone new

[ExpatInItaly]

I really dont know how to move on from this girl. She was my first everything and we met up after 2 months and everything felt so normal. We clicked again and she dumped him. Hurting a lot rn, cuz this time she has someone new

 

I know, it's hard. But first loves are almost never our last. They're hard to get over, because it's all new territory and you've never had to process a serious break-up before but I can just about guarantee you that you will find a greater love someday.

 

And when that time comes, you will see just how dysfunctional this relationship really was.

[Beachead]

Your ex leads with her emotions and doesn't know how to stay on top of them. The fact that she is pinballing between you and the other guy tells me how little respect she has for you. She talks badly about this other guy to you. Then compares their 1 month against your 14 month relationship completely oblivious to the fact that relationships are 100% in a honeymoon phase at that point. This isn't a woman you're dealing with. This is a girl.

 

She'll date more men over the next few years and break some more hearts until she gets it all out of her system. That's simply the stage she's at in her life. So, when she gets bored of her rebound, which she will, she'll already have another guy lined up. It may be you or it may be someone else entirely. And even if it is you, it won't last. If you choose to stick around this hurricane, you'll destroy yourself.

 

I would urge you to recognize that you had a 1 year relationship with this person and despite what you two shared, she chose to leave it. As in, it wasn't good enough for her.

 

Don't let a person like this run a bulldozer over your self-respect. Cut her off of social media, delete her number and throw out any reminders of her and start healing yourself so that you can get back to a good state of mind to meet better people out there.

 

- Beach

Edited June 3, 2018 by Beachead

[Mac0908]

I tell her we could've worked it but then she starts comparing me to the new guy saying he makes her feel special, gives her respect, and what not (she'd only been seeing this dude for a month initially, before breaking up with him for me). She tells me that he made her feel more respected in a month than I did in a year (hurt like a mf when she said this) and he goes out of his way to care about her. She was kind of being distant.

 

First things first, when a woman dumps you, you walk away, period. Make her chase you to come back. Don't be whining about how it could have worked. That's the turnoff mistake most guys (including myself) have made. She threw you in the trash, therefore you treat her the same. When a woman dumps you for another GUY, the entire relationship is over without any questions asked. The fact that you even saw her again so easily was a monumental mistake. That all being said, she didn't just say these things out of the blue I'm sure. It's clear you guys didn't have a very good relationship overall and that somewhere along the lines you started messing things up. Great boyfriends just don't get dumped.

 

I go home, we text a bit and she tells me that she cant get me out of her head even when she's trying. She asks me why shes not able to move on and why shes even thinking about me. She calls me and we talk for an hour about random stuff. She then gives me a "friendly" adivce suggesting i join dating sites and give other girls a chance and be more open to them (I wasnt really open with her). The next day the text convo was very dry and so we stopped.

 

Welcome to the wonderful world of modern day western women. Emotionally sporadic and unsure of what they really truly want. Again though, she left you for another guy, then had the gall to begin playing push/pull with you. Sounds like a recipe for NC as quickly as you can, and yes, that means deleting from all social media. But from what i've read here you still have hope. While I've been there and I understand what you're going through right now, the harsh reality is that this woman is not for you and if you ever get back with her you're more than likely just delaying the inevitable of getting your heart destroyed again.

 

It also surprises me how much smack she was talking about this guy when she broke up with him in front of me saying "he's clingy, controlling, insecure" and two weeks later she's with him again. Makes me feel kinda some way that she chose him over me.

 

This is about as common as a baby crying. Her saying that to you is like the equivalent of her spraying febreeze after the sh-t she just took on you. A sad form of damage control. You don't think she was talking smack about you to the rebound as well? Guess what I was once a rebound and all the girl did was bash the ex. Now she's back with the ex.

 

My advice is simple. Move on.

[brokenheart901]

Been feeling very down guys. Have been in bed and just been browsing through different forums to hear other people's stories. It just hurts so much that she chose this guy over me. And the fact that she compared him to me added salt to the wound. I know I should be happy for her, but my ego is kind of hurt and it just sucks that she moved on before i did. This is the same girl who was talking so much smack about this guy and broke up with him for me, saying he was clingy, wouldnt give her her space, etc. Then a few weeks later she said that he made her feel special and respected, something she never got from me and chose him. We still have each other on snapchat and IG, but we dont interact through these platforms. I know it'll take time, but im just afraid its gonna take me really long to get over her, and during this time it takes, im only gonna be thinking about her rather than working on myself, as I cant seem to get her out of my head and keep thinking of those two together getting close like we once used to. I've tried to talk to other girls, but am not able to develop an emotional connection like i did with her. Any advice is suggested

[brokenheart901]

First things first, when a woman dumps you, you walk away, period. Make her chase you to come back. Don't be whining about how it could have worked. That's the turnoff mistake most guys (including myself) have made. She threw you in the trash, therefore you treat her the same. When a woman dumps you for another GUY, the entire relationship is over without any questions asked. The fact that you even saw her again so easily was a monumental mistake. That all being said, she didn't just say these things out of the blue I'm sure. It's clear you guys didn't have a very good relationship overall and that somewhere along the lines you started messing things up. Great boyfriends just don't get dumped.

 

 

 

Welcome to the wonderful world of modern day western women. Emotionally sporadic and unsure of what they really truly want. Again though, she left you for another guy, then had the gall to begin playing push/pull with you. Sounds like a recipe for NC as quickly as you can, and yes, that means deleting from all social media. But from what i've read here you still have hope. While I've been there and I understand what you're going through right now, the harsh reality is that this woman is not for you and if you ever get back with her you're more than likely just delaying the inevitable of getting your heart destroyed again.

 

 

 

This is about as common as a baby crying. Her saying that to you is like the equivalent of her spraying febreeze after the sh-t she just took on you. A sad form of damage control. You don't think she was talking smack about you to the rebound as well? Guess what I was once a rebound and all the girl did was bash the ex. Now she's back with the ex.

 

My advice is simple. Move on.

 

Been tryin for a while. I just feel like things between her and the new guy arent even that serious. I mean she cheated on him with me after a month of knowing him. If she was serious, she would have controlled herself rather than hooking up with me first and then telling me she's with someone. I know she def has feelings, maybe not as much to get back, but she def does. But you're right, at the end of the day she chose him over me. I guess my ego is hurt and I want karma to get her

[Mac0908]

Been tryin for a while. I just feel like things between her and the new guy arent even that serious. I mean she cheated on him with me after a month of knowing him. If she was serious, she would have controlled herself rather than hooking up with me first and then telling me she's with someone. I know she def has feelings, maybe not as much to get back, but she def does. But you're right, at the end of the day she chose him over me. I guess my ego is hurt and I want karma to get her

 

Her messing around with you, calling you, and talking "smack" or whatever else took place unfortunately doesn't discount the fact that she chose HIM over YOU. Do you get that? Of course she still has feelings for you somewhere, but there's an asterisk next to you guys the size of planet Earth right now that will always linger. Do you think James Bond would be wanting a woman back who threw him in the dumpster for another guy? He'd laugh and move onto the next. Easier said than done of course and you will need a LOT of time to heal and work on yourself, but the sooner you start the better. That begins with two words - NO contact. That means social media, old texts, photos, her number, etc. Anything that can trigger her into your brain emotionally.

[brokenheart901]

Her messing around with you, calling you, and talking "smack" or whatever else took place unfortunately doesn't discount the fact that she chose HIM over YOU. Do you get that? Of course she still has feelings for you somewhere, but there's an asterisk next to you guys the size of planet Earth right now that will always linger. Do you think James Bond would be wanting a woman back who threw him in the dumpster for another guy? He'd laugh and move onto the next. Easier said than done of course and you will need a LOT of time to heal and work on yourself, but the sooner you start the better. That begins with two words - NO contact. That means social media, old texts, photos, her number, etc. Anything that can trigger her into your brain emotionally.

 

See that's what im afraid of. I know its gonna take A LOT of time and i feel like i wont be able to stay productive. The thoughts of her keep coming in my head, and I find myself living in the past ( I know really bad idea). It just sucks cuz she was my first everything, which is why i guess im attached to her.

[Beachead]

Been tryin for a while. I just feel like things between her and the new guy arent even that serious. I mean she cheated on him with me after a month of knowing him. If she was serious, she would have controlled herself rather than hooking up with me first and then telling me she's with someone. I know she def has feelings, maybe not as much to get back, but she def does. But you're right, at the end of the day she chose him over me. I guess my ego is hurt and I want karma to get her

 

This is where I get a bit black and white about things to make life simpler for myself.

 

She has physical attraction and attachment towards you. Not feelings. If there were feelings, there would be respect. She has none, which is why she drags you through the mud. You let her because you're lovesick. She's the drug and you're addicted to her and so your mind will spin behaviour in a way that'll make you only see the good in her.

 

The reality is she isn't all that. She's disrespectful and she blew any potential for reconciliation with this drama. Furthermore, even if she came back to you..you can count on the odds that she'll be looking for someone new and deep down inside you know that. Any guy she talks to could be a be threat and you will always be on your toes with her from here on after because the trust is gone. There is no relationship without trust.

 

And sure, you might have made some errors during the relationship but, that doesn't warrant her current treatment of you. The problem for you right now is you are letting her disrespect you and by doing that and you are showing you have no backbone. That is repelling to her. Women pick up on the lack of confidence and the pushover attitude we put out and they judge us for it and they subconsciously lose attraction. It's just the way it is with them. It doesn't mean you act like a douche. It has nothing to do with that bs "Alpha/Beta" crap and it has nothing to do with PUI philosophy.

 

All you have to do is just respect yourself. A self-respecting guy who knows how to balance that respect between himself and others. A self-respecting guy who appreciates what he has in his life. A self-respecting guy who can walk away and say no to things that threaten his well-being. And a self-respecting guy who lives a good life that he's passionate about. That way, whether someone like her comes into your life or leaves..you're good. You're balanced. You got your own thing going on. You're living a life that is in line with your heart and is complete on its own. That's your insurance. And the natural confidence you'll pick up from living life this way will attract the right kind of people.

 

In any case, this isn't no woman you're dealing with. This is a girl. An immature one.

 

There's no future with her because of it. Get your self-respect back and throw this girl into the past where she belongs.

 

- Beach

Edited June 5, 2018 by Beachead

[brokenheart901]

This is where I get a bit black and white about things to make life simpler for myself.

 

She has physical attraction and attachment towards you. Not feelings. If there were feelings, there would be respect. She has none, which is why she drags you through the mud. You let her because you're lovesick. She's the drug and you're addicted to her and so your mind will spin behaviour in a way that'll make you only see the good in her.

 

The reality is she isn't all that. She's disrespectful and she blew any potential for reconciliation with this drama. Furthermore, even if she came back to you..you can count on the odds that she'll be looking for someone new and deep down inside you know that. Any guy she talks to could be a be threat and you will always be on your toes with her from here on after because the trust is gone. There is no relationship without trust.

 

And sure, you might have made some errors during the relationship but, that doesn't warrant her current treatment of you. The problem for you right now is you are letting her disrespect you and by doing that and you are showing you have no backbone. That is repelling to her. Women pick up on the lack of confidence and the pushover attitude we put out and they judge us for it and they subconsciously lose attraction. It's just the way it is with them. It doesn't mean you act like a douche. It has nothing to do with that bs "Alpha/Beta" crap and it has nothing to do with PUI philosophy.

 

All you have to do is just respect yourself. A self-respecting guy who knows how to balance that respect between himself and others. A self-respecting guy who appreciates what he has in his life. A self-respecting guy who can walk away and say no to things that threaten his well-being. And a self-respecting guy who lives a good life that he's passionate about. That way, whether someone like her comes into your life or leaves..you're good. You're balanced. You got your own thing going on. You're living a life that is in line with your heart and is complete on its own. That's your insurance. And the natural confidence you'll pick up from living life this way will attract the right kind of people.

 

In any case, this isn't no woman you're dealing with. This is a girl. An immature one.

 

There's no future with her because of it. Get your self-respect back and throw this girl into the past where she belongs.

 

- Beach

 

It just hurts so much how quickly she could have moved on. She gave me false hope saying we'd get married, have kids, etc. i guess im the one to be blamed cause I believed her words, but her actions showed otherwise. We had such a good connection. I still wonder why she would dump the other guy for me if she didnt want to be with me. What's the best way to move on? I find myself thinking of all the past memories, and how things were in the beginning. Same ssnss of humor and we could finish each others' sentences. It sucks so bad. :/

[Beachead]

It just hurts so much how quickly she could have moved on. She gave me false hope saying we'd get married, have kids, etc. i guess im the one to be blamed cause I believed her words, but her actions showed otherwise. We had such a good connection. I still wonder why she would dump the other guy for me if she didnt want to be with me. What's the best way to move on? I find myself thinking of all the past memories, and how things were in the beginning. Same ssnss of humor and we could finish each others' sentences. It sucks so bad. :/

 

I know. My last ex did the same to me along with my ex previous to her. I've felt what you've felt in all 3 of my breakups. I've also had short flings with girls where I've been left or ghosted. I've been friendzoned, I've been weened off of etc. My relationship breakups hurt the most but overall, all of them hurt. Most my life I spent practicing getting over rejection so at the very least, I can guide you.

 

It will be awhile. Maybe even get worse before it gets better. I have to keep it real with you.

 

Cry it out. Let the pain in. Feel it. Don't bury it. Your mind is slowly processing it. You're not aware of it but it is. You won't notice the difference until several months from now. It may be only a small difference, but nonetheless a difference. Healing takes time depending on the person and the situation. Ups and downs and numbness will come in cycles. You might feel overwhelmingly sad..then you may not feel anything at all..then you might feel anger and hate...then numb again..then sadness etc. Initially they will be extremely frequent changes but as time passes will become less frequent and less intense. Over time, you will begin to gain clarity and find some peace throughout the day. Then it'll be a whole day. Then a few days out of the week. Etc. Hope will be the hardest thing to kill but once it's gone, you will heal very quickly. All you can do in the mean time is ride it out. Don't put a deadline on it. Don't let anyone rush you. You must forgive yourself for the time it will take and be gentle with the process.

 

The wounds will heal but the scars will remain. They will leave a reminder of the lessons you've learned in your life. So remember, everything you go through in your life will matter. No matter how painful. It will always teach you something so although it may feel like a waste..it isn't. It will be your job to make this loss worth it.

 

So don't give up on yourself. There was a life before her. There will be a life afterwards. Although you can't see it nor even imagine it right now, it's true. Take care of yourself. Let yourself cry but don't let yourself become permanently bedridden. Stay up for 1 hour and do something else besides lying down. If you can stay up longer, then great. Push for a higher number of hours. Eat well. Journal your thoughts out. Just freewrite onto paper and let the thoughts flow. Anything that comes to mind. Also write down atleast one thing you are grateful for everyday..even if it's the same thing. Go to the gym and exercise. It will help. Also if you need to talk to a friend, choose one you trust and can confide in and talk about it. You may not be able to sleep well for awhile but that'll change.

 

Don't rush back into dating. Use your friends but also take some alone time to yourself. People make the mistake of rushing back into life when they haven't healed and end up causing themselves more pain. The combined benefit of LS, Journaling and maybe even a therapist will help you realign your focus again.

 

Remember that the goal is to return to the person you were before meeting this girl..but now with the added knowledge/wisdom you've gained from this setback. A version 2.0 of yourself.

 

This is all my knowledge over a long time I've put together as a way to recover from the paralyzing nature of heartbreak. It helped me everytime and everytime I've added to it and tweaked it. Take what you feel is useful to you and discard the rest. Take this time to really understand yourself and your healing process. You'll use that knowledge in the future.

 

Ps. If you're suffering, you might as well suffer while moving forward.

 

Stay Strong man

 

- Beach

Edited June 5, 2018 by Beachead

[ExpatInItaly]

It just hurts so much how quickly she could have moved on. She gave me false hope saying we'd get married, have kids, etc. i guess im the one to be blamed cause I believed her words, but her actions showed otherwise. We had such a good connection. I still wonder why she would dump the other guy for me if she didnt want to be with me. What's the best way to move on? I find myself thinking of all the past memories, and how things were in the beginning. Same ssnss of humor and we could finish each others' sentences. It sucks so bad. :/

 

Did her actions really show otherwise, though?

 

She has broken up with you multiple times. She has been indecisive and flaky. Those aren't the actions of someone who shares an equally deep connection with you, I'm afraid.

 

You will begin to really move on when you realize you haven't lose the love of your life or some spectacular person. She's up on your pedestal now, which is normal after a break-up, but trust me when I say that you are vastly overestimating this girl's value in your life.

[Highndry]

This is an extremely low quality woman who thinks nothing of cheating on you, anyone and everyone, and couldn't care less about your feelings. Is that really what you want? Man, pick up your self respect and kick that trash to the curb where it belongs.

[Mac0908]

She has physical attraction and attachment towards you. Not feelings. If there were feelings, there would be respect. She has none, which is why she drags you through the mud. You let her because you're lovesick. She's the drug and you're addicted to her and so your mind will spin behaviour in a way that'll make you only see the good in her.

 

The reality is she isn't all that. She's disrespectful and she blew any potential for reconciliation with this drama. Furthermore, even if she came back to you..you can count on the odds that she'll be looking for someone new and deep down inside you know that. Any guy she talks to could be a be threat and you will always be on your toes with her from here on after because the trust is gone. There is no relationship without trust.

 

And sure, you might have made some errors during the relationship but, that doesn't warrant her current treatment of you. The problem for you right now is you are letting her disrespect you and by doing that and you are showing you have no backbone. That is repelling to her. Women pick up on the lack of confidence and the pushover attitude we put out and they judge us for it and they subconsciously lose attraction. It's just the way it is with them. It doesn't mean you act like a douche. It has nothing to do with that bs "Alpha/Beta" crap and it has nothing to do with PUI philosophy.

 

Absolute gold.

 

I wondered why my ex was fading after coming back. I began to finally pull away by default after all her bs, but it was just too late.

 

Wish I had those exact words quoted above in front of me back in January. My lord would it have saved me so much pain (and dignity). Instead I chased and ended up creating more heartbreak for myself. Live and learn though. Just sad that the learning part had to come with a broken/completely shattered heart and months of pain. Better person bc of it though, and the OP will have his day too, eventually.

Edited June 6, 2018 by Mac0908

[brokenheart901]

Thank you all for the advice. Really appreciate it.

 

Update:

 

It hits me a lot in the morning when I wake up. What she's doing with the other guy, does she think about me, etc. All these questions come in my head. However, as the day progresses, I get a grip of my thoughts and the rest of the day gets better. Her voice keeps replaying in my head of her comparing me to the other guy saying "he did more in a month than you did in a year. And the fact that she chose the other guy over me and told me about it is even a bigger slap to my face. I still have her on social media and she posted a selfie on her story today, that I did not watch. I don't want to give her any attention and just want to be indifferent. I can't look at her the same way anymore and in my head I keep saying to myself "She's dead to me. She chose someone else over me". How can I let a dumb, manipulative girl have so much power to which she's affecting my life? I think of all the people that love me, my family and friends, and how much they believe in me doing big things. I feel like I have a purpose in life and I can't let the people who were there for me down, especially over someone of such low value. She literally got intimate with me and cheated on her "boyfriend" of a month, then broke up with him for me. Not to mention, when she got back with him, she still hooked up with me regardless of the other dude. I do get angry, I do get jealous that she found someone before I did. But slowly, I have faith that I will find someone who will actually want me in their life.

 

Sorry for the long post, just had to get my thoughts out.

Edited June 6, 2018 by brokenheart901

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Dude, it's fine, breakups happen and we must go on,

She chose another dude, now she's his problem to don,

She ain't perfect, you just got those rose-tinted glasses,

She did you a favor by going along with someone else's passes.

[Beachead]

Thank you all for the advice. Really appreciate it.

 

Update:

 

It hits me a lot in the morning when I wake up. What she's doing with the other guy, does she think about me, etc. All these questions come in my head. However, as the day progresses, I get a grip of my thoughts and the rest of the day gets better. Her voice keeps replaying in my head of her comparing me to the other guy saying "he did more in a month than you did in a year. And the fact that she chose the other guy over me and told me about it is even a bigger slap to my face. I still have her on social media and she posted a selfie on her story today, that I did not watch. I don't want to give her any attention and just want to be indifferent. I can't look at her the same way anymore and in my head I keep saying to myself "She's dead to me. She chose someone else over me". How can I let a dumb, manipulative girl have so much power to which she's affecting my life? I think of all the people that love me, my family and friends, and how much they believe in me doing big things. I feel like I have a purpose in life and I can't let the people who were there for me down, especially over someone of such low value. She literally got intimate with me and cheated on her "boyfriend" of a month, then broke up with him for me. Not to mention, when she got back with him, she still hooked up with me regardless of the other dude. I do get angry, I do get jealous that she found someone before I did. But slowly, I have faith that I will find someone who will actually want me in their life.

 

Sorry for the long post, just had to get my thoughts out.

 

Good. You need to remind yourself of that.

 

And as some perspective, I am very sure people already want you in their life. Family, friends. Sure, it's not romantic. Maybe it's just a handful of people. Maybe just 1. But they do care and that's what matters. When you notice that, you'll start to realize that you're worth something to someone. That's what surrounding yourself with good people will do for you.

 

Take care of the people who love you and treat you right and discard the ones who don't. Life is too precious to be wasted on garbage.

 

- Beach

[brokenheart901]

Good. You need to remind yourself of that.

 

And as some perspective, I am very sure people already want you in their life. Family, friends. Sure, it's not romantic. Maybe it's just a handful of people. Maybe just 1. But they do care and that's what matters. When you notice that, you'll start to realize that you're worth something to someone. That's what surrounding yourself with good people will do for you.

 

Take care of the people who love you and treat you right and discard the ones who don't. Life is too precious to be wasted on garbage.

 

- Beach

 

It just sucks. Im in the anger phase right now thinking of all the ****ty things she's done, and I lowkey don't want her to be happy. I would wish her all the happiness if she was genuinely a good person, but her manipulation and lies make me feel about her otherwise. Is that normal?