Ex GF chose rebound over me

[Young mind]

What's up guys. So Ive been feeling way better for the past month. Like i barely thought about her but l today suddenly, all the emotions are coming so strong and i just feel like bawling I dont know why. Idk why I miss her. Three weeks ago I heard from a mutual friend that she and the other guy broke up. I knew it was coming and it kinda made me feel a little better (not because I have hope of getting back). But im just soo confused why these emotions are coming back when I went a whole month and still am in NC. I was doing so good but today for some reason i miss her i dont know why. Thought id post here

 

The part that those emotions do reiterate and that healing will not be a straightforward road is rarely discussed, maybe as a mechanism to make the poster only see the positives and idealism of NC.

 

Honestly, those feelings of regret, heartache will continue, and there will be relapses, cutting all information is the basic step, although you might not be able to guard against gossip but I hope you can gauge your healing based on how “ better” you feel instead of the days, weeks , months past .

 

For me it’s almost a year and I do feel “ better “ but still hurt from it, I still think about her almost every week, today I opened an old book to find a note she wrote in 2015 about how lucky she was to be with me and how much she felt, you can’t imagine how I felt today. Terrible.

 

In summary, stay strong, focus more on your life and goals and everything will fall in place with time

[brokenheart901]

She texted me asking for forgiveness and saying she loves me... not sure what to make out of it

[Zahara]

She texted me asking for forgiveness and saying she loves me... not sure what to make out of it

 

Personally, I would not respond. Based on your posts, I'd highly question her actions. I have to wonder if all is not well with the new boyfriend or her life and she's throwing bait. She claims to love you but her "love" is of the dysfunctional kind. It's self-serving, insecure and attention seeking.

 

I would advise you to step away. Contact is going to drag you down a rabbit hole. You can forgive her within yourself and when you are ready but you don't have to announce it. Forgiveness is for you and for your own mental and emotional freedom. She can't demand it for herself when she needs it.

 

I suggest you go back and read through this whole thread and remind yourself of the mind****ery that comes with your ex. Stay far away because she is toxic.

[ExpatInItaly]

She texted me asking for forgiveness and saying she loves me... not sure what to make out of it

 

Her boyfriend probably dumped her and she wants attention.

[brokenheart901]

My emotions are at a mix right now guys. I was moving on and i was feeling really good mentally. She left a voicemail of her crying begging me to talk to her and to come back. Part of me wants to forgive and atleast talk to her, thinking she finally realized what she lost and has changed. But part of me doesnt want to even respond for everything she did to me and what she made me go through during. The summer. The voicemail of her crying just keeps plying in my head. In the past, whenever she would breakup with me, it would always be me breaking NC. This time, shes the one that initiated it. So im not sure if she really means it or not. Her and the other guy broke up 2 months ago, which makes me wonder why she would bother 2 months after them breaking up.

Edited September 19, 2018 by brokenheart901

[jjb117]

I once waited for a girl, 3 months to be exact, and she chose someone else over me.

 

In a few simple words I just want to say that, it’s not worth it.

 

Look at how much time and energy you’ve spent on this one girl. For what? To get blocked? To get snubbed? To be someone’s backup?

 

Cry if you have to, but keep your chin up. Accept and I mean accept that it is over and move on with your life. That isn’t to say to completely erase her from your memory, but simply to know that what you once had won’t happen again.

 

That isn’t a bad thing though. You will find someone else. Trust me. I can bet my life you will feel love again. It’s a wheel. People come and go. Enjoy the moments you have with people but do what’s best for you.

[ExpatInItaly]

My emotions are at a mix right now guys. I was moving on and i was feeling really good mentally. She left a voicemail of her crying begging me to talk to her and to come back. Part of me wants to forgive and atleast talk to her, thinking she finally realized what she lost and has changed. But part of me doesnt want to even respond for everything she did to me and what she made me go through during. The summer. The voicemail of her crying just keeps plying in my head. In the past, whenever she would breakup with me, it would always be me breaking NC. This time, shes the one that initiated it. So im not sure if she really means it or not. Her and the other guy broke up 2 months ago, which makes me wonder why she would bother 2 months after them breaking up.

 

He probably found someone else this time, and she is in panic mode.

 

If you're looking for stable, long-lasting and sincere happiness, you won't find it with this girl. There shouldn't be multiple break-ups in any relationship, particularly when one party bounces back to an ex.

 

You will regret it if you buy her sob stories. Mark my words.

[Zahara]

My emotions are at a mix right now guys. I was moving on and i was feeling really good mentally. She left a voicemail of her crying begging me to talk to her and to come back. Part of me wants to forgive and atleast talk to her, thinking she finally realized what she lost and has changed. But part of me doesnt want to even respond for everything she did to me and what she made me go through during. The summer. The voicemail of her crying just keeps plying in my head. In the past, whenever she would breakup with me, it would always be me breaking NC. This time, shes the one that initiated it. So im not sure if she really means it or not. Her and the other guy broke up 2 months ago, which makes me wonder why she would bother 2 months after them breaking up.

 

Don’t do it. She has a history of unreliable behavior and that doesn’t just go away. She’s patterned to behave this way when she needs attention. She’s not doing this because she loves you. She’s doing this because she needs an available crutch. Understand her behavior to you in the past was not one of love but one of selfishness. Nothing has changed.

 

Go back and read this thread and remind yourself of the mess she put you through. Talking to her is going to rope you back into a rabbit hole. She’s still that same person who is AGAIN treating you like Plan B. I bet they broke up, there was still unresolved drama between them and 2 months later she’s gotten finality from him. It has now set in and she’s looking for a fallback.

 

Don’t do it. Focus on your healing. If you want to find emotional freedom and the chance to be in a healthy relationship with an emotionally available woman, keep moving forward. This woman is toxic.