He's moving even further away. Is there even a point?

[MintyMermaid]

Hi guys and girls. Kinda feel uncomfy writing publicly about personal issues but I really have no one that understands to talk to in real life.

 

I'm in late 20s. Last year I met someone from another country who traveled a lot for work to my city. We fell for each other and started going out every time he was here (every other month). Each time we spent together I warmed up more and more, up to a point when I realized I was deep in it because time with him was genuinely fun, easy going and better than I've had it in previous relationships.

 

We were never really *exclusive* boyfriend and girlfriend. Just when we were together. But we did talk a lot over Skype when he was away.

 

Well, now he is moving even further away (another continent), to pursue a big dream of his, and we will not be able to meet anytime soon - at least for a year, maybe more. We did our "last time for now" vacation and even though we are in good terms, we have fun talking, etc, I keep wondering - is it worth it for me to keep some hope for the future? You know... with a new culture, new job and new people... comes a new life, so it kinda seems foolish to expect a place for me in all that. Also, he does like me a lot - but I wouldn't call him *smitten* with love. Maybe I fell for him more than I should have.

 

My question sounds a bit rhetorical to me now, but still - I would like to hear some opinions out of my head. Thank you

[d0nnivain]

LDRs work when there is a definite timeline by which to close the gap. Here your gap is widening & the availability to see each other is lessening.

 

This is going to be one of those things that was fun while it lasted but is not sustainable.

[BaileyB]

I would continue to live my life, and I would certainly not be waiting for him.

[justwhoiam]

Hi MintyMermaid,

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

Kinda feel uncomfy writing publicly about personal issues

Your privacy should be safe. So I wouldn't worry. Relax

 

We were never really *exclusive* boyfriend and girlfriend

That combined with the fact that he's gonna go MIA for a year or more, the fact that he didn't invite you over, that you've never entered his personal world/space (where he lives)... only tells me that you should cut contact with him. From all the elements you described, his work travels might be kind of an escape to him from his routine at home. He's probably getting married or already has a family and switching jobs, where he won't have an excuse to travel anymore.

[stillafool]

No there is no point in holding out hope for this guy. Just remember him as a lovely experience because it doesn't seem like this is going anywhere.

[kendahke]

I think it's time to face the fact that this isn't going to pan out, romantically, for you. The fact that this never advanced to the point of exclusivity was your first inkling.

 

If he's moving further away and there is no plan for you to be with him in the foreseeable future, then there's nothing left to hold onto UNLESS you're going to up stakes and move to where he is.