Am I an alcoholic?

[vanhalenfan]

Strange question, I know. Just asking the question is enough evidence, I am sure.

 

Anyway...I come from a family full of addictive behavior/addicts. I would rarely partake in drinking through the years, but recently I have at 34 years old.

 

In the past 2 years, I have dealt with an increasing amount of stress. Relational and financial, mostly. In reaction to these issues, I find myself turning to alcohol. Mostly wine. These days, come 5 or 6pm I am uncorking a wine bottle every 2nd or 3rd day or so and polishing it off by myself. I try to limit to one small (750 ml) bottle, but sometimes I open another and make a considerable dent in the second one. I am not one for much hard alcohol in the home, but when I am out with friends I can partake in a stiff or "girly" mixed drink or 3. Or 5. But that is rare.

 

There are times I go without for a week or 2, but then something happens (negative) and I start to want to escape myself...for even a few hours...once the day is through.

 

I am disgusted in myself. Never thought to imagine myself an alcoholic. My mom was one....Sober for 20 years. My brother as well, in recovery for 1 year and struggling. My uncle is also still one, still drinking. I was always the "strong, level headed" one. I thought I skipped that "gene". But now I see when the going got tough...Here I am, after all.

 

I hate what I am doing to myself. I am starting to feel the affects of the alcohol within my body. I know many who drink more than myself socially even...But my motivations seem wrong. I have that addict mentality. Escape. Can't deal with life. Need to cloud my mind and get away from myself and alcohol is the only legal way to do so.

 

I am afraid

[S2B]

No one decides this for you - you decide for yourself.

 

 

Can you stop?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I don't think you're an alcoholic, but maybe a "pre-alcoholic" if that's a thing. At least it's something you are recognizing and you know you're using it in an unhealthy way to self medicate. Perhaps try replacing it with something. I have a good friend who just passed her one year mark being smoke free and replaced it with painting. Now she's quite a talented artist (but addicted to THAT now lol).

 

How about a little therapy?

[salparadise]

Based on you post I think you meet the DSM-V criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder, Mild sub-category. There are eleven criteria and you're meeting three. Two are required for diagnosis.

 

There are two other statements (asterisks) that I would consider to be big red flags, although they don't directly correlate to the DSM criteria.

 

It's pretty well accepted that alcoholism is heritable. In other words, the concept of having a genetic predisposition is valid. Add to that, the resultant behaviors were modeled in the family system throughout your childhood, so you have a high probability of those genes being expressed.

 

The good news is that you are in the early phases and probably of mild severity. It will be easier to quit now than later, and in doing so you can prevent the deterioration of your mind, body and life overall. Alcohol is a progressive disease. If you keep drinking it's just a matter of time before you'll meet a lot more of those eleven criteria, which include significant impairment of social, interpersonal and professional aspect of your life.

 

Successful treatment requires the addiction to be replaced with an alternate focus and support. For many AA provides that. You also need to learn alternate coping mechanisms to use instead of self-medicating. A good therapist with specialization in addiction can help tremendously.

 

Don't make the mistake of rationalizing that it's just a matter of willpower and you can control it without any help. Many lives have been ruined by error.

 

1. Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended.

I try to limit to one small (750 ml) bottle, but sometimes I open another and make a considerable dent in the second one.

 

2. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.

There are times I go without for a week or 2, but then... I am disgusted in myself. I hate what I am doing to myself.

 

4. Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol.

but then something happens (negative) and I start to want to escape myself

 

*I am starting to feel the affects of the alcohol within my body.

 

*But my motivations seem wrong. I have that addict mentality. Escape. Can't deal with life. Need to cloud my mind and get away from myself and alcohol is the only legal way to do so.

[fredflint]

No one decides this for you - you decide for yourself.

 

 

Can you stop?

 

I don't think whether someone can stop is a good metric to determine whether or not they are addicted. That's a common excuse addicts use to rationalize to themselves they are not addicts. "I've stopped before, I can do it again anytime". Well sure they can stop. But they're thinking about it all the time.

[BaileyB]

I think the important thing here is that you admit that you are using alcohol to numb yourself, to deal with the stress of life, to escape. To be fair, we all do this kind of thing from time to time, but it seems it's becoming a frequent occurrence for you... A coping strategy that you are starting to depend on like a crutch.

 

I would suggest that you try to replace the alcohol with other, more healthy coping strategies... Like, exercise, or talking with a friend, or perhaps finding a counsellor to help you to work through the stress you are feeling...

 

Self awareness is everything. If you are aware of the problem, or possibility of a problem, you can change it. Best wishes.

[amaysngrace]

I don't know. I drink to escape the hell of yard work especially if I'm doing something particularly painstaking like moving pavers or wood logs for example and only if I have no place to drive later that day.

 

I also drink on the beach if I'm there alone working on my tan because it's beat to just be lying there all alone and having a few drinks helps pass the time in a more bearable way.

 

And of course I drink in certain social situations but I don't think that makes me an alcoholic any more than it makes you one. But I don't know because I'm not you.

 

I'm not sure comparing your drinking habits with others as a gage is helpful though so I don't know why I've just done that with you. Alcoholism runs in my family too.

 

I think perhaps you know it's power and that concerns you as well as your predisposition to abuse it but again I don't think that makes you an alcoholic if you drink from time to time.

 

Here's an self-assessment you may find helpful. Answer honestly and it may give a better understanding of yourself and your relationship with alcohol.

 

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/cage-alcohol-assessment-quiz/

[S2B]

I don't think whether someone can stop is a good metric to determine whether or not they are addicted. That's a common excuse addicts use to rationalize to themselves they are not addicts. "I've stopped before, I can do it again anytime". Well sure they can stop. But they're thinking about it all the time.

 

I was referring to stopping forever.

[JFReyes]

My understanding is that -- in practical terms -- an alcoholic is a person that once they start a drinking episode they can't stop by themselves. They either run out of booze, pass out, or some other external factor stops them.

 

If that's your case consider portion control - only buy the amount that you know you can handle responsibly. If attending an event where there's an unlimited amount available, don't go alone and make plans to leave early. Good luck.

[Mr. Lucky]

Am I an alcoholic?

 

Does it matter? If you don't like the effect alcohol has on you and your life, the next step is pretty clear...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Art_Critic]

Strange question, I know. Just asking the question is enough evidence, I am sure.

 

Yeah.. I'm going with this...

 

Generally speaking people who don't have a problem drinking don't ask that question of themselves.

So if you are asking yourself if you have a problem then you do...

 

Whether or not you are an Alcoholic is all up to you however..you are the one that has to take the first step and admit you are powerless over Alcohol... nobody else does...

[lana-banana]

The highest level of alcohol consumption---i.e. what the USDA and most international standards define as "heavy drinking"---for a woman is seven drinks per week. (New research suggests the high mark for men's alcohol consumption should also be around seven drinks per week.)

 

A 750 mL bottle of wine is five glasses - five drinks. If you are drinking two bottles of wine a week, that's ten drinks right there. You are drinking to the point where it is almost certainly affecting your health and, arguably just as dangerous, you're doing it to escape. You may not technically be an alcoholic but it's absolutely problem drinking.

 

Are there people you can lean on for help? Can you try to build other, healthier coping mechanisms?

Edited June 4, 2018 by lana-banana

[amaysngrace]

Seven drinks a week is heavy drinking?? They should come hang out with my family sometime, especially at a wedding and especially a funeral where shots are the norm.

 

Yesterday there was a bartender serving beer and wine at the baby shower I went to where the guest of honor couldn't even drink!

 

Oh man.

[carhill]

OP, you know your situation best. I liked the way one MW's doctor put it, that she was labeled in her medical records as an 'unhealthy drinker'. I know her probably far better than I should and I agree with the doctor. The upside? She's still alive. I'm doing my level best to keep her that way.

 

I've lost one lovely lady to the bottle; cost her marriage and ultimately her life. She was a functioning alcoholic. Drank all day, even at work. Comparatively, over some close to 60 years of having my teeth cleaned, she was the best hygienist I ever had, and for over 20 years. She also almost killed me (and my exW) with her car one time too because I was an idiot and gave her the keys.

 

If thinking of yourself doesn't help, think of all the people who love you. Yeah they do even if you don't think so. Sure, there's levels and you probably feel the stories I've shared are extreme. Perhaps they are. I've seen plenty. If you feel it's a problem for you, it's a problem for you. Help and support is out there.

 

How do you want to fix you? You mentioned relational and financial stress. What's up?

[lana-banana]

Seven drinks a week is heavy drinking?? They should come hang out with my family sometime, especially at a wedding and especially a funeral where shots are the norm.

 

Yesterday there was a bartender serving beer and wine at the baby shower I went to where the guest of honor couldn't even drink!

 

Oh man.

 

Yes, seven per week. Also, for women, binge drinking is defined as more than three drinks in one session; for men, it's more than five drinks per session. For people who live in cities with the whole work-hard, play-hard ethos that may not sound like a lot, but it's true.

 

The old standards for men were 14 drinks per week, but recent evidence suggests there's not actually a difference between men and women when it comes to long-term health problems with heavy drinking.

[vanhalenfan]

Thank you for all of the responses. I am probably considered borderline alcoholic by some standards, alcoholic by others. Let's take this week, for example. I drank a small bottle of wine on Sunday night. Tonight is Tuesday, and I am already in 1 small bottle and made a dent in another I hope that'll be all for at least 3-5 days, but I seem to be running on an every-other-night lately. I don't even like the taste. I am just looking for the effect. I can hardly stand hard alcohol....gag I literally throw up with one taste. Wine is just tolerable (red). I really hate the taste of all alcohol, which is strange for an alcoholic.

[lana-banana]

750 mL is not a "small bottle", it's standard size. Per your own admission you have had at least 12 drinks this week, and it's Tuesday.

 

Honestly, the fact that you are drinking it solely for effect and not taste seems to indicate you are more likely to be an alcoholic, not less. Sommeliers and beverage industry professionals drink a lot because it's their job and they love the taste. If you are only in it to numb yourself, you have a much more urgent problem.

[vanhalenfan]

750 mL is not a "small bottle", it's standard size. Per your own admission you have had at least 12 drinks this week, and it's Tuesday.

 

Honestly, the fact that you are drinking it solely for effect and not taste seems to indicate you are more likely to be an alcoholic, not less. Sommeliers and beverage industry professionals drink a lot because it's their job and they love the taste. If you are only in it to numb yourself, you have a much more urgent problem.

 

I agree with you. For some reason, I needed to hear it from someone else

[lana-banana]

Have you spoken to a doctor---not a therapist, but a physician? Given the volume and frequency of your drinking, you may need special considerations before you start treatment.

 

Wishing you all the best.

[Fugu]

Strange question, I know. Just asking the question is enough evidence, I am sure.

 

Anyway...I come from a family full of addictive behavior/addicts. I would rarely partake in drinking through the years, but recently I have at 34 years old.

 

In the past 2 years, I have dealt with an increasing amount of stress. Relational and financial, mostly. In reaction to these issues, I find myself turning to alcohol. Mostly wine. These days, come 5 or 6pm I am uncorking a wine bottle every 2nd or 3rd day or so and polishing it off by myself. I try to limit to one small (750 ml) bottle, but sometimes I open another and make a considerable dent in the second one. I am not one for much hard alcohol in the home, but when I am out with friends I can partake in a stiff or "girly" mixed drink or 3. Or 5. But that is rare.

 

There are times I go without for a week or 2, but then something happens (negative) and I start to want to escape myself...for even a few hours...once the day is through.

 

I am disgusted in myself. Never thought to imagine myself an alcoholic. My mom was one....Sober for 20 years. My brother as well, in recovery for 1 year and struggling. My uncle is also still one, still drinking. I was always the "strong, level headed" one. I thought I skipped that "gene". But now I see when the going got tough...Here I am, after all.

 

I hate what I am doing to myself. I am starting to feel the affects of the alcohol within my body. I know many who drink more than myself socially even...But my motivations seem wrong. I have that addict mentality. Escape. Can't deal with life. Need to cloud my mind and get away from myself and alcohol is the only legal way to do so.

 

I am afraid

 

1) You're not alcohol dependent. If you were, you'd be hitting alcohol by noon.

 

2) That said, you're developing a psychological dependence on alcohol. You're still at the point where you can decide to skip a night, or you can go without on nights when the liquor store closes early, but you're still fetishizing booze.

 

You're what's called a "problem drinker". You're NOT an alcoholic, so you can take relief in that. However, problem drinkers can ruin relationships, ruin their careers, and ruin a lot of other things that are important to them. Moreover, over time, you're hurting your internal organs, your brain, and raising your blood pressure, increasing the chances of a heart attack.

 

Speak with your primary care physician openly and honestly about your issues. He can help you monitor your alcohol intake. You don't need AA, which is often an all-or-nothing approach to ending alcohol abuse that just ends up leaving you frustrated and feeling judged.

[LilithD]

Strange question, I know. Just asking the question is enough evidence, I am sure.

 

Anyway...I come from a family full of addictive behavior/addicts. I would rarely partake in drinking through the years, but recently I have at 34 years old.

 

In the past 2 years, I have dealt with an increasing amount of stress. Relational and financial, mostly. In reaction to these issues, I find myself turning to alcohol. Mostly wine. These days, come 5 or 6pm I am uncorking a wine bottle every 2nd or 3rd day or so and polishing it off by myself. I try to limit to one small (750 ml) bottle, but sometimes I open another and make a considerable dent in the second one. I am not one for much hard alcohol in the home, but when I am out with friends I can partake in a stiff or "girly" mixed drink or 3. Or 5. But that is rare.

 

There are times I go without for a week or 2, but then something happens (negative) and I start to want to escape myself...for even a few hours...once the day is through.

 

I am disgusted in myself. Never thought to imagine myself an alcoholic. My mom was one....Sober for 20 years. My brother as well, in recovery for 1 year and struggling. My uncle is also still one, still drinking. I was always the "strong, level headed" one. I thought I skipped that "gene". But now I see when the going got tough...Here I am, after all.

 

I hate what I am doing to myself. I am starting to feel the affects of the alcohol within my body. I know many who drink more than myself socially even...But my motivations seem wrong. I have that addict mentality. Escape. Can't deal with life. Need to cloud my mind and get away from myself and alcohol is the only legal way to do so.

 

I am afraid

 

My father was an alcoholic. And a former boyfriend was an alcoholic. So I am familiar with this terrible addiction that ruins lives, relationships, and families.

 

You strike me as an intelligent individual, who is concerned about having what some claim is an hereditary addiction. But, personally, I don't think you do, because my man expresses the same concern you do, and while he does drink a bit too much occasionally while safely at home, I know he is NOT an alcoholic. He overthinks everything, and get's all stressed out, and a couple of drinks in the evening relaxes him.

 

If you just remember to limit your consumption of alcohol, I don't think you are a problem drinker. Moderation is the key.