Jadeskyee Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Hi,I'm new to this site. I'm currently in the middle of a divorce,during this time I met a really nice guy that has been helping me through a very tough time. I live in jersey,he lives in vegas. I really like him and treats me very well. We talk and text everyday and have video chatted. We talk about meeting but right now is not the right time. Jumping into a relationship right after a divorce most likely won't work , we think it's best to meet maybe around December or January. My friends say to just accept this for what it is but when the time is right, why can't it work? I'd like some advice on how long distance relationships have worked for anyone Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Right now this guy is some sort of life line for you but you have to understand until you meet none of this is real. You actually don't have an LDR, you have an OLR, an on-line relationship. Having never met you don't actually know who this man is. You are intrigued by who you think he is, but in the middle of your divorce your world is topsy turvy & trusting your own judgment might not be the best course. Enjoy it for the joy it brings you but don't put too much stock in it until after you meet. Delaying that meet is not the best idea IMO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Hi,I'm new to this site. I'm currently in the middle of a divorce,during this time I met a really nice guy that has been helping me through a very tough time. I live in jersey,he lives in vegas. I really like him and treats me very well. We talk and text everyday and have video chatted. We talk about meeting but right now is not the right time. Jumping into a relationship right after a divorce most likely won't work , we think it's best to meet maybe around December or January. My friends say to just accept this for what it is but when the time is right, why can't it work? I'd like some advice on how long distance relationships have worked for anyone Long distance relationships are hard as is, meeting online and maintaining a LDR like that is even harder. I did that w/a guy and it all fell apart. He seemed super lazy, but I feel as though the relationship never had a chance to develop. I genuinely wasted my time and money. You do need that human contact. At the time I was a little desperate and I think that drove me to compromise on having vague relationship instead of waiting for something solid. Def do not get ahead of yourself so that you don't get hurt even more. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 It's good that you're giving yourself plenty of time before meeting up. How did you meet in the first place? You went looking for a relationship online or something? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Hi Jadeskyee, Welcome to the LS LDR forum. You sound wise, patient, and cautious. When will your divorce be finalized? When did you get separated, and when did you start filing papers for divorce? Also, how did you meet this guy? And last, but not least, when did you start talking to him, and when did it become apparent that there's mutual attraction? I guess those are all important factors to understand your current situation. I'd want to spend new year's eve with a prospect boyfriend, and I wouldn't wait for the end of December to meet him for the first time. So see how it goes. Maybe he can come visit you in November? My friends say to just accept this for what it is but when the time is right, why can't it work? People are generally skeptical about OLRs. There are scams, golddiggers, catfish individuals, offenders, etc. So there's reasonable concern when it comes to dating out of your social circles. But nobody is ever automatically safe. And relationships fail regardless of how they started out. Can a LDR work? Yes. How do you measure the success of a LDR though? For many, if it ends in a marriage that works. For others, if it stands the test of time. I'd like some advice on how long distance relationships have worked for anyone Mine is still underway. Maybe for some that'd be a failure, but to me failure is linked to breakup. It's just a matter of perspectives. Link to post Share on other sites
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