Ginger55 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Well I haven't been here in a very long time... I was all about fun in the last few years - casual relationships, independence, freedom. I felt good being by myself and generally didn't feel the need to be with someone for long. I had it figured out. Then I met a guy who was, like, 70% of my dream man - and knowing how picky and superficial I am, that's a lot! What's more, we hit it off perfectly - we were having a sweet crush on each other and spent one blissful year. Sadly, those days are over, he left for whatever reason. But with him went away my desire to be alone and free, I just can't get back to it. I feel physically ill when I go home and he's not there. I have no desire to set goals for the future, because I know I'm going to be lonely. Also, as it regularly happens with people my age, everyone is either in a relationship or married, so going out feels kinda stupid now... I know that I lacked what it takes to make a top notch partner that he'd want to spend his life with, and I know I have to work on that, on being wholesome on my own. I just don't know where to start - I mean, I know but I don't have the drive to do it... or get out of bed, for that matter. It's sad. Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Whatever reason? What was the whatever reason? Did he just say, "Whatever" and walk out the door? Seems there's more to this than you are saying. "At your age". What is that? Is it worth pursuing him because you're 60 and he's the most compatible man you've ever met? Or are you 29? IMHO, context means a lot here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 what goes around comes around Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Then I met a guy who was, like, 70% of my dream man - and knowing how picky and superficial I am, that's a lot! What's more, we hit it off perfectly - we were having a sweet crush on each other and spent one blissful year. It's a well documented fact that he needed to be at least 75% of your ultimate dream man for things to have worked out. /citation Sadly, those days are over, he left for whatever reason. But with him went away my desire to be alone and free, I just can't get back to it. I feel physically ill when I go home and he's not there. I have no desire to set goals for the future, because I know I'm going to be lonely. Also, as it regularly happens with people my age, everyone is either in a relationship or married, so going out feels kinda stupid now... You're going through the post-break up blues. It happens to the best of us, but just know that it'll pass. There's a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it yet. I know that I lacked what it takes to make a top notch partner that he'd want to spend his life with, and I know I have to work on that, False. You were valuable enough to him to be in a relationship with him for a year so you clearly had that potential. Sometimes things just don't work out, but you will be a top notch partner for somebody when the right man for *you* comes along. Preferrably someone who's at least 75% of your ideal dream man. Don't blame yourself or beat yourself up. It takes two to tango. I just don't know where to start - I mean, I know but I don't have the drive to do it... or get out of bed, for that matter. It's sad. Like I said: it'll pass. For now, focus on taking baby steps. Get out of bed and reward yourself for that. Go outside and you'll feel even better. Get some exercise, take yourself out on a date, and you'll feel even better still. The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 This is my answer to everything, I guess, but: Get two rescue dogs. You'll never be lonely again. And you can still have your man when he comes along. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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