bradt93 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Would any guy on here for example saw a girl they didn't like, but saw her being physically abused like at a bar or being cursed at by another random even though you don't like her, would you confront the guy that's bothering her or would you stay out of it since its her problem? I would confront the guy and I would say hey I know this girl, leave her alone. It's just a question I posted out of curiosity. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 From what I have witnessed, (I worked in a club for 4 years), looks has nothing to do with it. There are guys out there that do not tolerate abuse towards women....any woman...period. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Gosh I hope looks is irrelevant when a woman needs help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted June 4, 2018 Author Share Posted June 4, 2018 I don't think I mentioned anything about looks, I said physically abused like hitting or slapping a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 I wouldn't get involved at any altercation at a bar or nightclub because most of the people are already drunk and not thinking straight Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 In my younger days, I would get involved. Now, I would not. I have no idea who is armed and I'm not about to risk getting shot for some woman I don't know. I'd intervene for a child who's being abused though. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 If there's non-life-threatening physical abuse going on, the ACTUAL helpful thing to do would be to take a video and send it to the cops. Get him locked up for good. Picking a fight with him is completely pointless, dude's just going to do it again and again, and YOU might end up locked up or worse. Best thing is, anyone can take the aforementioned video - I'm a 5' woman and I'd do it in a heartbeat. Seriously, think with your brains instead of your balls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 l'd be hoping to figure out what she did first before l got involved if l got involved, knowing what women in bars after a few drinks around lots of guys can be like , right in front of their bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Would any guy on here for example saw a girl they didn't like, but saw her being physically abused like at a bar or being cursed at by another random even though you don't like her, would you confront the guy that's bothering her or would you stay out of it since its her problem? I would confront the guy and I would say hey I know this girl, leave her alone. It's just a question I posted out of curiosity. Years ago, I did this very thing under the circumstances you describe. And when she calmed down, the girl told me to "mind my own business" and went back to the abuser. So while I'd do it again, doesn't always turn out the way you'd expect ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 I don't think I mentioned anything about looks, I said physically abused like hitting or slapping a woman. You said some one you didn't like. I assumed you meant someone you didn't find attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 When in doubt call a bouncer over. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 (edited) Yup, barkeep or bouncer or cocktailer. Their turf, they handle and likely have many times. They know how to handle mean/violent people/drunks. Battery on a person would likely find more than one person intervening. Be aware, if doing so, to smile since you'll likely be on CCTV. Can't recall if LEO's are exempt but local IA prohibits carrying concealed and drinking alcohol. Violation leaves one subject to revocation of their LCH and/or citation/arrest depending on what went down. That may vary around the country. Personally, I'd never go in a bar armed even if I could. Too many things can go wrong. As an example, my exW's dad, who owned a bar in Chicago, was shot and paralyzed in his own bar by a cop who thought he was banging his wife. He was in a wheelchair the rest of his life. Edited June 4, 2018 by carhill 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 As an example, my exW's dad, who owned a bar in Chicago, was shot and paralyzed in his own bar by a cop who thought he was banging his wife. He was in a wheelchair the rest of his life. that's terrible carhill Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Yup, underscores how quickly things can go sideways. IIRC, exW was 9 or 10 at the time. Five kids at home. Life changed in an instant. Save for the Steve Seagal types, guys who whack women are generally subdued/dissuaded with equal or greater force/numbers. A savvy barkeep or bouncer or a couple patrons distracting are usually good enough. Some though, alcohol makes them invincible. One reason I tend to avoid bars at my age. Too many unknowns. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 I would alert Staff and if its on the street. I don't know. I just get to the venue I am into right away. I don't talk to people on the street or try to get involved with everyone out there. If I do that. I will never get anything done. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Carhill. Blessings for your X's dad. Sorry to hear that. People now a days need to keep their head and wits about them. Not so much your X's Dad, but all of us, when we are out and about. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 IIRC, the shooting occurred in '68-69 and he died a few years later from complications of the event. I saw some clippings exW saved as it made the papers because of it being a cop. Fuzzy on the details though. TBH, when things start getting loud in a bar, and not funny laugh loud, I tend to head for the door. Pretty rare but it has happened. The vast majority of experiences have been pleasant and memorable, whether when drinking or as DD for the group. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 TBH, when things start getting loud in a bar, and not funny laugh loud, I tend to head for the door. Pretty rare but it has happened... Yes, I do the same thing. If things appear to be getting out of hand, I'm out the door. I've also learned to "pay as I go" when at a bar (in cash). I don't open a tab. If things start to get crazy, I'll throw some extra cash on the bar as a tip, and get out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 I don't do bars. Never have. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Only time I go the bar is when there is a live band playing. No Live band. No me. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 I would like to think that I would confront, but unfortunately the idea just scares me. I know violence is never OK, but you never know the back story of that argument. I'd call bouncers/security, or the police if I think they will make it in time. I'm a fairly small guy so I'd get flattened at the best of times, and you never know if they have a knife hidden somewhere. There's no point trying to help if you are just going to add yourself to the casualty list. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 I do the stair climber and I lift weights. I'm not concerned with my muscles, more concerned with my weight than anything, but I lift weights to give my muscles the extra boost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 I don't do bars. Never have. I don't either, but it was just I asked, because I read about a lot of fights going on in bars. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Yep, the local western bars were epic. There was a reason the horses knew how to find their way home on their own. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 (edited) (sigh) XXXXXXXXXX Edited June 6, 2018 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
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