What is your worst fear about being single?

[kajo13]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

[Gaeta]

None

 

I was single from age 40 to 48 and had a blast. I invested in my carrer, put my kid through Uni, got in shape, got a dog, and had sex with younger hotties. It was a time to discover myself and experiment. It made me independent, resourcefull, emotionally secure.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

 

I don't fear being single, but I do fear dying alone, so I guess that means 1) for me.

[littleblackheart]

What makes me anxious is letting my guard down and entering another dysfunctional relationship. Being single keeps me safe, I feel.

 

I'm not alone, I'll always have support, I don't feel envious or embarrassed, I don't date and I was married once so only point 5 applies; it's still not enough of an incentive to give away my peace. I have too much baggage anyway so I feel I'm doing the right thing not putting myself out there.

 

 

Being single is the only thing that works for me.

[babysacay]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

 

My worst fear being single is catching an STI that can't be cured. I use protection when not in a relationship but when I'm exclusive with someone, I noticed I have a hard time waiting until they can get tested, even though I always request that they do. I'm working on it. I have family and friends for support and I know there are lots of good men out there. I used to fear never getting married, but not anymore given the number of bad marriages I have seen. And I'm never embarrassed to be single.

[Chilli]

Mine would be that lucks ran out. First time l've ever been single really.

l've been very lucky in love, known two incredible women , lived some surreal life, but it's down the toilet right now that's for sure.

 

l fear though l've had my run.

Spose l could live it out partying it up instead, wish l could afford a playboy mansion haha.

[Happy Lemming]

No fear, whatsoever... My life has been a BLAST!! And it ain't over yet, there is plenty of adventure left in me.

 

I've been single my whole life, dated around and moved around without having to consult anyone else.

 

I've been able to take risks with real estate projects, that I know a wife would not have allowed. I've been able to invest money the way I wanted, which allowed me to retire early. I just have to take care of me, my way.

 

Never had to listen to anyone nag me or put me down in my own home, especially after putting in a long day at work.

 

As far as your list:

(1) I like being alone in my home, peace and quiet.

 

(2) As far as hard times - I have financial "circuit breakers" I've built into my long range investments, so if I fall on hard times I click over one of those "circuit breakers".

 

(3) I've never dated losers, if a woman turns out to be incompatible with me; I get another one. NEXT!!

 

(4) I have no desire to get married and lose half of everything I've worked so hard for.

 

(5) Sexual Partners - easy to find. I've never had a problem finding the next woman. "Variety is the spice of life" - William Cowper

 

(6) Never been envious of other couples, never been embarrassed about being single. That being said, I do wear a cheap wedding band to get through airport security. In my experiences, it seems I get double and tripled check by the TSA when flying, when I appear single. I've had better luck when wearing the wedding band and don't get searched multiple times.

 

Just my two cents...

[No_Go]

My fear was I'd start liking it too much and never force myself on a date again, so I'd run out of time to have kids:D

 

My last streak of being single (which lasted about an year) I truly enjoyed and it gave me the chance to catch up on personal milestones. It was a wonderful time.

 

My longest single streak (up to age of 27 - I never went on a date by age of 27) was a formational experience. I'd not have been who I am now if I distracted myself with relationships in my 20s...

[grays]

Not sure how many of you have experience with this, but for me being single with the hopes of eventually settling down w someone is a lot like being infertile. If I was able to know that there woyld be a healthy baby or a lovable partner at the end of the process, that would make it so much easier to roll with the punches. I actually really enjoy being single but I don't like the fear that I may not ever meet someone that I click with.

 

For me a big fear is having to rely too much on my children when I get older. I'd rather have a partner and hopefully be able to take care of each other. And I do wish I had someone for support (and to support) in hard times. I have some close friends but when things are really tough what I want is to be able to let go/relax with someone's arms around me.

[Mysterio]

As far as your list:

(1) I like being alone in my home, peace and quiet.

 

(2) As far as hard times - I have financial "circuit breakers" I've built into my long range investments, so if I fall on hard times I click over one of those "circuit breakers".

 

(3) I've never dated losers, if a woman turns out to be incompatible with me; I get another one. NEXT!!

 

(4) I have no desire to get married and lose half of everything I've worked so hard for.

 

(5) Sexual Partners - easy to find. I've never had a problem finding the next woman. "Variety is the spice of life" - William Cowper

 

(6) Never been envious of other couples, never been embarrassed about being single. That being said, I do wear a cheap wedding band to get through airport security. In my experiences, it seems I get double and tripled check by the TSA when flying, when I appear single. I've had better luck when wearing the wedding band and don't get searched multiple times.

 

Just my two cents...

 

Lemmings. You have a great life there. I would like to know more about your Circuit Breakers and why you think getting Divorced if Married you would lose everything. Just get a Prenup.

Edited June 8, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[Happy Lemming]

 

Lemmings. You have a great life there. I would like to know more about your Circuit Breakers and why you think getting Divorced if Married you would lose everything. Just get a Prenup.

 

Pretty much any asset can be liquidated for short term cash. There is a market for any cash producing asset. From, stocks, bonds, Notes Receivable, Real Estate, etc. any of which can be turned into cash. As far as "flipping a circuit breaker", I would pick which item to liquidate based on the amount of cash needed.

 

Yes, you are correct about a prenuptial agreement, but often women are hesitant to sign them. I've also seen instances where a woman tries to "break" the prenuptial agreement, citing "bad boy" behavior, then you are back to paying attorney's fees; seeing how much justice you can afford. It is never clear and simple.

 

I've seen a lot of married guy friends get taken to the cleaners.

 

No thank you, I'll stay single and happy!!

[bathtub-row]

I’ve been single for so long now that I actually have more fear about being in another relationship. I’ve been thinking about meeting someone new but there’s a part of me that’s afraid of giving up my freedom. I suppose it’s a tradeoff either way.

[mingomatic]

people know you're dead because your apartment starts to smell.

[Fair]

Sooner or later we're all going to fear being alone. There's always those happy go lucky types that pop up and say they don't fear it at all, but they're probably young with plenty of time.

 

That will change.

[carhill]

Getting married again

 

What is your worst fear about being single?

 

Welcome OP, are those your biggest fears about being single? How's dating/mating going for you?

[Logo]

None

 

I was single from age 40 to 48 and had a blast. I invested in my carrer, put my kid through Uni, got in shape, got a dog, and had sex with younger hotties. It was a time to discover myself and experiment. It made me independent, resourcefull, emotionally secure.

 

It sounds like fun, I can get a dog, get in shape, invest in my career, now the only catch is finding “young hotties” (20s? Or 30s?) as you’ve described them to have sex with, discover myself and experiment. It almost sounds as fun as being back in college, except I can’t think of any young hotties in their 20s who prefer older men.

 

Let’s face it, it’s a lot more fun to be a single female than it is to be a single male, especially with the whole “MILF” allure being injected like propaganda into the brains of younger male “hotties” who are ready and willing to experiment.

 

It’s also easier to find people to have sex with as a female.

 

Men on the other hand have to do most of the work, the approach, the rejection.

 

It’s all fun and games until someone finds themselves sexually frustrated.

[alphamale]

I was married for 4 years and hated every minute. On the other hand I love being single and the freedom that comes with it. I do, however, have a very close family unit.

[kajo13]

Getting married again

 

 

 

Welcome OP, are those your biggest fears about being single? How's dating/mating going for you?

 

 

Not starting a family and lack of intimacy (not just sex). I've done the dating and the flings, but they're so transient. And it was fine for awhile, but I want to build a life with someone now. So I started doing some meditation work at my yoga studio to kind of clear the way, so to speak. Met someone about two months ago... I'll keep you posted.

[carhill]

Perhaps we could delineate between being single and being celibate and not pursuing intimacies. Being single could easily mean transient social interactions, including sex, which leave a person fulfilled and satisfied.

 

As example I was single most of the time from 18 until I got married in my 40's. Part of that time I was both celibate and solo, meaning not pursuing relationships. Other times I was dating and enjoying the company of women but still single, not living with anyone or not married.

 

What I've noticed in life is apparently bonded relationships aren't a guarantee of anything. Spouses ditch each other, children abandon parents and vice-versa, on and on. Social mores have become increasingly flexible and serving of self over intimates and groups. Community has deteriorated.

 

If I had to identify a 'fear' it would be a more practical one where, should I experience a health problem, the main support would come from paid carers, whereas when my parents were ill or at the end of their lives I pitched in and took care of them and managed things. I see less and less of that today with friends who have children and grandchildren flung around the world. The oldsters are on their own and, if no healthy and caring partner, can be in a pickle. That would tie in with your #2 reason, not having support during hard times.

 

I accept the fear as valid but can't hold in high confidence that the solution or treatment is investment in another human. After investments in many, many during life, I discovered the real value was the giving and loving, not anything the other said or did. It all can go sideways in a moment and often has. Pretty normal IME.

[Logo]

I can’t really explain it, but being in a relationship with a woman after I’ve gotten to know her and we’ve developed our own culture, rituals and inside jokes, that bond, and the joy of having such a deep bond with someone transcends everything I have experienced in life so far. There’s something about nurturing strong emotional and physical intimacy, coupled with sharing my life with another person that makes me feel elated, happy, strong and grounded.

 

Perhaps it’s the feeling of knowing that someone who doesn’t love you unconditionally has developed those feelings for you.

 

I think of all the things I enjoyed when I was in a relationship, even the scent she left on shirts, for example.

 

Research has shown that love is, in a word, like a drug. So maybe love is addictive.

 

Maybe I’m confusing passion with love, but I know that sharing my life with a woman and having a deep and meaningful connection with her, transforms me. I become a better version of me. I can’t explain it.

 

I used to dream of starting a family and enjoying seeing my children grow, there’s joy in that, knowing that I’ve helped bring to this world the wonder of human life and teaching them about life, how to be good and kind human beings, or even how to ride a bike.

 

But for now I’ll settle for having a partner, at the very least.

 

Now that I’ve explained what I miss, I can tell you that my fear is that the proverbial ship has sailed.

 

I’ve also grown so cynical of relationships. They seem fickle and transient that I don’t want to invest time and energy only to have that relationship disintegrate because she’s changed or changed her mind. Recovering from a breakup is emotionally exhausting. Sure, there are no guarantees in life, but if the divorce rate is about what? 45%? Then what’s the breakup rate between non-married couples?

[heartbrokenlady]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

 

 

1 - I like the closeness of being with a partner

2 - This. I had a major illness and my partner supported me through it. It made a huge difference.

3 - NO! I'm not doing this one. I'd rather be alone.

4 - Yup. Took me until mid 50s to feel I'd like this and I've missed the boat.

5 - Yup. I'm not spreading it around for the sake of it and so am now in enforced celibacy. It sucks.

6 - Not embarrassed but definitely jealous.

[Sbla22]

I can’t really explain it, but being in a relationship with a woman after I’ve gotten to know her and we’ve developed our own culture, rituals and inside jokes, that bond, and the joy of having such a deep bond with someone transcends everything I have experienced in life so far. There’s something about nurturing strong emotional and physical intimacy, coupled with sharing my life with another person that makes me feel elated, happy, strong and grounded.

 

Perhaps it’s the feeling of knowing that someone who doesn’t love you unconditionally has developed those feelings for you.

 

I think of all the things I enjoyed when I was in a relationship, even the scent she left on shirts, for example.

 

Research has shown that love is, in a word, like a drug. So maybe love is addictive.

 

Maybe I’m confusing passion with love, but I know that sharing my life with a woman and having a deep and meaningful connection with her, transforms me. I become a better version of me. I can’t explain it.

 

I used to dream of starting a family and enjoying seeing my children grow, there’s joy in that, knowing that I’ve helped bring to this world the wonder of human life and teaching them about life, how to be good and kind human beings, or even how to ride a bike.

 

But for now I’ll settle for having a partner, at the very least.

 

Now that I’ve explained what I miss, I can tell you that my fear is that the proverbial ship has sailed.

 

I’ve also grown so cynical of relationships. They seem fickle and transient that I don’t want to invest time and energy only to have that relationship disintegrate because she’s changed or changed her mind. Recovering from a breakup is emotionally exhausting. Sure, there are no guarantees in life, but if the divorce rate is about what? 45%? Then what’s the breakup rate between non-married couples?

 

 

Yes this really resonates with me. Especially the part about being a better version of yourself.

 

When I'm in a happy relationship I just feel like everything else I do is so much more meaningful. My job is a classic example. When I've had a **** day at work I then have an hour commute home. Sometimes on that drive home recently I just think what is the point? I have no one to come home to who will just be there to hug me, comfort me and love me. I think I have developed immense resiliance being single for 7 months now. It has made me appreciate relationships so much.

 

I went on a first date last night and she wants to see me again so I'm hopeful but had a lot of these over recent years so not getting ahead of myself.

 

I think my biggest fear is not getting married and having children and sharing my life with someone. I have always wanted this and it's a very strong desire in my heart. I am 27 next month and I reckon realistically I have until 33-35 to have a child with someone so this scares me.

 

My parents got married at 27 and had their first child. Sometimes I feel like a failure for not even being in a relationship at the minute. Everyone I work with is in a long term relationship or married and many are of a similar age to me.

 

I feel like I have tried so hard over the last few years to improve myself, try and make sure I have everything in my life sorted but without a woman at times it all feels pointless and incredibly lonely.

[Happy Lemming]

Everyone I work with is in a long term relationship or married and many are of a similar age to me.

 

But are those individuals happy?? They may communicate that they are happy, but may not be.

 

ALL of my married friends told me the "grass is greener" on my "single" side of the fence. (I never married and dated many, many women)

 

ALL of these friends are miserable in their marriages. And... the complaints I hear. WOW!!

 

One friend who got divorced told me, he is sooo much happier being single and loves it.

[Logo]

Sbla22,

 

You’re in your prime. So don’t be ‘scared’ for one second. This is the perfect time for you to date date date. Date as many women as you can. You have plenty of time, but right now, you’re at your peak. So take advantage of that. The minute you’re in a long term relationship for a couple of years, maybe, don’t hesitate to propose. Don’t rush, but get out there and date as many women as you can.

[Morris17]

My worst fear about being single is that i'll be alone forever and that i'll never get into a relationship with anyone.

 

I've been single for all 25 years of my life and just last week i went on my first ever date. I'm seeing him again tomorrow and i can't wait but i also feel nervous. I know that it's unlikely that the first guy i date will turn into something but i'm enjoying the now.

 

I do worry about the future with my love life due to how slow things have moved in all these years but a lot of that is down to my own insecurities and me being afraid to take that first step of going on a date.