What is your worst fear about being single?

[hotpotato]

My greatest fear about being single is getting too used to being single. I spend a lot of time by myself. Its easy to get accustomed to do what I want when I want. If I dated again, it would be can adjustment.

 

As far as emotional support...I guess I can't miss something I never really had. I'm more worried abt getting the support then it be taken from me.

 

I can't say I miss the romance because I didn't find much of that in the dating world.

 

I do fear getting too old to date.

 

I don't worry about sex because men give sex freely. Even women id call unattractive manage to have sex apparently. Its easy for me to attract younger guys in their 20s because I take care of myself. I don't expect much younger guys to want to date me.

[kajo13]

My greatest fear about being single is getting too used to being single. I spend a lot of time by myself. Its easy to get accustomed to do what I want when I want. If I dated again, it would be can adjustment.

 

 

My sister was single for about five years with sporadic dates, but mostly on her own. She had a similar fear that she'd grown too set in her single ways. But she met someone (after doing some serious inner work and mindset shifts) that is perfect for her. It didn't take long at all for their lives to mesh together. I adore him and he treats her like gold. They got engaged last month and I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. Granted, she's always been a bit of a sourpuss, so this joyful change is most welcome.

[Eternal Sunshine]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

 

 

1. I enjoy being alone, probably too much. I am never bored when I am alone but am frequently bored in company of others.

 

 

2. I have a close family who supports me through anything.

 

I have never found emotional support during my past relationships. If anything, they acted like anything negative that happened to me was a burden and I ended up having to minimize it.

 

 

3. Yeah, that's a legit worry but I have just stopped dating.

 

 

4. I would probably choose not to marry even if I found a perfect partner. I used to think it was important when I was young and naive. I have seen too much now - most marriages are trainwrecks.

 

 

5. There has always been plentiful of availability of sexual partners. One of the perks of being a woman.

 

 

6. There are few couples that are genuinely happy - I do feel some level of envy for them. The rest make me relieved to be single. I would not put up with what most women put up with.

 

 

Embarrassed about being single? More like annoyed because some people expect me to justify why.

[Malin889]

I was in a very bad relationship for a long time, which resulted in a child, and I have to say, I'm much much happier being single. It's been a few years now, I just bought my own home, with no one to tell me how to decorate it. It's nice to go out with friends, to go out on dates, but it's also nice to go home and put my feet up and not worry about a guy calling me ten times a day getting angry for me for no reason! But yes, it would be great to be able to make out with someone whenever I wanted... but that's it.

[guest569]

I only fear being single directly after a painful breakup and considering a future without that person. I’m not one to seek a relationship for the sake of being with someone/anyone. Company is nice but I don’t fear being alone.

[Mentor99]

Being single was better than being in unhealthy relationships, but now that I'm a relationship it's far better than being single. I didn't really fear being single though, but new I wanted to be in a healthy relationship and it took a bit of work, and a lot of self reflection, but I eventually got there.

[Art_Critic]

When I have been single in the past I never feared being single at all..

I was quite content with the life I had built myself and was very busy.

 

I will say though that the hardest part that I used to get tired of was at times not talking to anyone for days.. 3 day weekends were the worst, I would to the cabin in the mountains on a Friday night and come home Sunday evening and had not spoken to a single person in that time...

 

While I wasn't lonely or even close to it I think we all like to hear others peoples voices, even it is just at work...

 

I would miss sex.. still do

[Sbla22]

I think to be truly happy single you need to be constantly busy.

 

If you're a single female you probably have lots of guys showing interest in you so that always makes people feel good. Plus single women tend to have more single friends I find.

 

As a single male I find it hard. Firstly, from an early age we are encouraged to compete with one another. Being single is like losing the competition while the winners are off having sex and enjoying intimacy.

 

I also find it hard as a 27 year old (nearly) to have lots of single friends.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love reading, go the gym a lot, big football fan. I have things I do and enjoy but Saturday nights are so tedious for me. My friends are out with their girlfriends. I spend them alone watching telly mostly.

[Garlend]

Yes, I am married. And I am horrified by the very thought of losing my wife and soulmate, who is, indeed, my better half. All the happiness and troubles we've shared or endured over the years has proven we are one.

 

I'm sorry, but being single again is not even an option for me to consider. I just couldn't handle it. All I ever wanted is what I have now. And I dread losing her.

 

It's like I told my little lady. She is much more gregarious and spiritually stronger than I am. And even though she said she would be devastated if I should die before her, I know she would be able to overcome the grief and eventually move on as I told her she should.

 

Is it really any wonder why the loss of a closely bonded spouse soon leads to the death of the survivor.

[Mysterio]

When I hear the words single. To me I think one has no physical affection on a regular basis Thats what bugs me about being single. The lack of affection.

 

Seeing a Hooker/Porn/Strippers. Those types of activities don't appeal to me.

 

I have lots of friends, so its not like I feel lonley. I also do tons by myself as well. I was looking at my friends list. Just based on how much I see and interact with my friends. I am sociable in person 76 times a year. Always make new friends as well. Not every year but it seems like romantic prospects are far and few between. Friendships are in abondance.

[Chris2016]

I don't know, I think I'm becoming immune to any future fears of being single. I've been single for so long with no change in sight that I kind of am starting to not give a rats arse anymore.

[Chris2016]

When I hear the words single. To me I think one has no physical affection on a regular basis Thats what bugs me about being single. The lack of affection.

 

Seeing a Hooker/Porn/Strippers. Those types of activities don't appeal to me.

 

I have lots of friends, so its not like I feel lonley. I also do tons by myself as well. I was looking at my friends list. Just based on how much I see and interact with my friends. I am sociable in person 76 times a year. Always make new friends as well. Not every year but it seems like romantic prospects are far and few between. Friendships are in abondance.

 

Where do you make new friends? Through friends of friends?

 

I have my core friends for about 30 years. Of course they're all married w/ family now; they do their own thing. I only see them very so often. Would be nice to build rapport and relations with others in my age group. I tried meetup, but hard to build in depth connections there.

[BaronChairman]

I'm an introvert, so being alone doesn't bug me, but I do need physical affection.

[Mysterio]

Where do you make new friends? Through friends of friends?

 

I have my core friends for about 30 years. Of course they're all married w/ family now; they do their own thing. I only see them very so often. Would be nice to build rapport and relations with others in my age group. I tried meetup, but hard to build in depth connections there.

 

I do social and recreational activities. I just wind up with friends. Not counting just FB friends. I have 6 female friends and 15 males. Now I don't see them everyday. Enough that I have some variety. I also do a lot of things on my own. so I would say I interact with all of them2 to 4 to 6 to 10 times a yr.

 

No all are married. A couple of them are divorced. Life is dynamic. I hate to say it. I think those of us that are single. The best is yet to come. We all should be able to make it to our late 80's Early 90's.

 

Perhaps we are really not missing out. I feel like a lot of us have an awareness of our lives. Not to be negative or anything like that. No woman that has vile intentions towards me or will use me, is going to get me to romantically commit to me. Where as when one is younger. Your more vulnerable.

[Morello]

Yes, I am married. And I am horrified by the very thought of losing my wife and soulmate, who is, indeed, my better half. All the happiness and troubles we've shared or endured over the years has proven we are one.

 

I'm sorry, but being single again is not even an option for me to consider. I just couldn't handle it. All I ever wanted is what I have now. And I dread losing her.

 

It's like I told my little lady. She is much more gregarious and spiritually stronger than I am. And even though she said she would be devastated if I should die before her, I know she would be able to overcome the grief and eventually move on as I told her she should.

 

Is it really any wonder why the loss of a closely bonded spouse soon leads to the death of the survivor.

 

I'm not sure what I fear about being single, but I do know what I fear about being married: the above.

 

I think when you reach a situation like that, you have always a lot to lose. You might end up attracting the very thing you fear. Happens quite often.

 

If your self-worth and willing to live is all based on one person, life will always be very risky. And your last statement was just the icing on the cake. It's like you've already convinced yourself that life is only worthy to be lived if you're loved by this one person.

 

I understand what being closely bonded with someone means. I mean, it probably means different things for different people anyway. But I'm afraid you might be setting yourself up for a huge problem in case your relationship fails. ANd the reality is that most relationships fail at some point. It's very rare to find those couples that have been together for 30 or 40 years with true love involved.

[Poutrew]

I don't fear being single, but I do fear dying alone, so I guess that means 1) for me.

 

This is really an illusion, and NOT a valid reason to get married. Firstly, your partner may die before you, leaving you in the same position you would have been in had you never married. Also, death is a personal experience we are never going to share with anyone... it really doesn't matter if you are alone in the hospital room with just a disinterested nurse feeling for your pulse to be nonexistent so she can record T.O.D. and take her lunch break, or if there is a room full of grieving family members wailing about how devastated they will be when you shuffle off... the act of death is personal and yours alone.

 

 

The way I deal with it is to know that one day I WILL die, and no matter what or how, or where, I WILL die alone. When I accept that, then I can do my thing, whatever that is. Acceptance without desperation is the beginning of living a healthy life... for some, religion can be a comfort and lead to the recognition of inevitability, and for them, I say More Power To You! Personally, I do believe in some sort of 'afterlife', and I truly hope I will get to be in a good place, but of course, you can never know... But, however it turns out for me personally, I know for a fact that there is no human (such as a wife, child, etc.) on this side of the veil that can alter my eventual fate.

 

 

So, like Alfred E. Neuman says, "Why worry?

[bradt93]

I think to be truly happy single you need to be constantly busy.

 

If you're a single female you probably have lots of guys showing interest in you so that always makes people feel good. Plus single women tend to have more single friends I find.

 

As a single male I find it hard. Firstly, from an early age we are encouraged to compete with one another. Being single is like losing the competition while the winners are off having sex and enjoying intimacy.

 

I also find it hard as a 27 year old (nearly) to have lots of single friends.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love reading, go the gym a lot, big football fan. I have things I do and enjoy but Saturday nights are so tedious for me. My friends are out with their girlfriends. I spend them alone watching telly mostly.

Why are you considered a "loser" if you're not having sex. I'm 29 years old and I'm still a virgin, because I never socialize and I was always shy.

[Garlend]

I'm not sure what I fear about being single, but I do know what I fear about being married: the above.

 

I think when you reach a situation like that, you have always a lot to lose. You might end up attracting the very thing you fear. Happens quite often.

 

If your self-worth and willing to live is all based on one person, life will always be very risky. And your last statement was just the icing on the cake. It's like you've already convinced yourself that life is only worthy to be lived if you're loved by this one person.

 

I understand what being closely bonded with someone means. I mean, it probably means different things for different people anyway. But I'm afraid you might be setting yourself up for a huge problem in case your relationship fails. ANd the reality is that most relationships fail at some point. It's very rare to find those couples that have been together for 30 or 40 years with true love involved.

 

We have been married for 28 years. And we have literally saved each others lives several times in different ways while virtually sharing a single life together. We have survived intrusive intervention by others seeking to destroy what we have because of envy. We have survived numerous health threats up to this point. We have endured financial hardships. We have survived many heartbreaking losses together. And we have shared a great deal of tenderness and good times together as well.

 

Right now my little lady is undergoing a serious health condition that could lead to her loss of life if not corrected. I am frantic, because I feel so helpless. I would be lost without her by my side.

 

I'm sorry. I don't intend to offend any of you good people by expressing my astonishment that many of you don't seem to understand that the marriage covenant includes the following simple, yet essential condition:

 

Ask not what your spouse can do for you. Ask what you can do for your spouse.

 

It's really as simple as thinking of your other half first. For example, "Honey, would you like another cup of coffee?" All the way to reading to them while they lay in a coma in a lonely hospital bed. And then pushing them around in a wheelchair for several months while they slowly recover so you can enjoy being together on a sunny day.

 

Romantic love doesn't end at the altar either; unless you let it end there. We actually enjoy comfortably cuddling and smooching more now than when we first got together. But, of course, cuddling often leads to other kinds of more energetic activity as you should well-know.

 

I'm an INTJ personality type, btw. As a quiet introvert, I function quite well without eliciting the attention of others. But I desperately need that one other soul to share my life with. And now that I have her, I don't want to lose her...God help us overcome this terrible threat.

[snowboy91]

1- Being alone

2 - Not having support during hard times

3 - Stuck dating losers - forever

4 - Never getting married

5- Not having a sexual partner/intimacy

 

6- Being envious of couples or embarassment about being single.

 

Having just got out of a relationship, in the lead-up and after the fact I realised none of that seems to scare me.

 

1) Great friendships. In the end I felt more alone at home, in the relationship than I did when I was spending time with my friends. We just clicked better.

 

2) See 1. The amount of support I've had since my BU has been overwhelming.

 

3) Not really. I don't like to define anyone as a "loser" unless they are seriously inept in some way.

 

4) Not sure how I feel about marriage personally. Half (or so? Not sure of exact number) of marriages end in divorce. And many other ones that don't are miserable. Thus, a lifelong loving relationship is the exception rather than the norm. If I am to get married, it has to be really right for me. Not for the sake of a label.

 

5) Events leading up to and after the BU have suggested this is not an issue.

 

6) Envious? Nope. Well, not yet. Maybe if I'm still single in another 10 years. Embarrassment? Nope. Single at this age is the norm, luckily.

 

I think the worst fear of being single is really just a worry about losing connection with my friends in the future. If they start getting married and having children, they will have less time for me. But I also know enough people who don't ever want kids to alleviate that fear.

[JP92]

I had a bunch of fears before my last relationship and now regret not staying single. At least you're safe when you're single. You're not putting yourself through the risk of giving too much of yourself to another human only for them to shatter your heart and set you back. Some people cope with things better than others, but not me. My heart is way too fragile to risk being hurt the way I was hurt and in the fashion I was hurt. I have nightmares thinking about it. Someone I loved hurt me in a fashion that nobody has ever hurt me before. The devil disguised as an angel.

[Mysterio]

For me. No matter the diversity of friendship and support of family. I still feel that missing something.

 

It can't be about sex or being told that I am loved in a romantic way, can it.

 

I feel that I am single more because I am slightly shy when it comes to the opposite sex, in terms of bing romantic towards them. So I am not out macking chicks. It takes a lot of mental stamina for me to ask out a woman, that is do to my thinking that everything has to be ideal. Like I have to know that she is single at least. When I talk to women. A lot of them don't seem to be able to convey that. In my had I don't want to ask them out, unless I know that single status.

 

No matter what. A lot of my single friends feel like they are missing out by not having that special someone. I don't know why we can't override it. Is it a problem. Yes and no. I can function, but I feel frustrated on a daily basis. no matter how busy I am.

 

Once again I have stated this before. Really being alone to me is no family and friend support. Going without physical affection is the hard part. There is no altrnative. No hooker or FWB will work for me. It has to be a woman that wants to explore a LTR with each other that is the ticket.