Am I Wrong?

[RN2017]

Am I wrong for how I feel. I recently have reconnected with an ex boyfriend of 11 years . Back then we were about 20 and 23 when finally broke up but we met at 16 and 19. Long story short he met someone else and basically told me that he was going to be moving in with her. Boy was I heart broken. I truly loved him. Well as time past he call off and on the next few months basically checking in. Eventually I moved on bc I was devastated about year after the break up I became pregnant by my new boyfriend one day he popped up at my house and saw that I was pregnant and then told me he had a baby on the way. I always wondered if he was so in love with this girl or was happy with her why was he popping up at my house. A few months later he called to see if I had the baby. Once again why is he so concerned about me his ex. Our kids were born a month apart. Then he wanted to see my baby. And he was still living and with this girl. I always felt he cared more than he thought he did. So we both marry our significant others. Don’t speak for about 8 years. Reconnect we are both now unhappily married. Now that gives you some background..,,...I want to know am I wrong because I seem to be having a hard to letting go of the fact he broke up with me to be with someone else. Then had a baby and got married. I feel like everything I wanted from him he gave to someone else, How do you get pass that or do you ever? He told me his young and stupid back then. Oh and come to find out this women is 10 years olde than him and had child that like 12 at the time and he was 23 at time. I am just so confused on that part. I just feel like I wasn’t what he wanted then why now.?

Edited June 8, 2018 by RN2017

[Zahara]

Is this the same ex you were posting about back in July 2017 along with your other threads? If it is, then you didn’t just recently reconnect. You both are cheating on your spouses. It would be best to detangle yourself from your dead marriage and move on from your husband and this guy. All you’re doing is waffling between two unhealthy situations.

[Chilli]

Don't get it. You married someone else and had a baby too.

The only difference is that he decided to break it off way back when.

But 12mths later you were pregnant to someone else anyway, l mean in only 12mths.

 

There's really not much difference tbh.

[d0nnivain]

If your marriage is unhappy get out of it or work to fix it. Do not engage in an affair with another married person. That just makes everything worse & teaches your kids the worst possible life lessons.

 

You are right to feel concerned. This guy dumped you for her once. He married her not you. He had a kid with her, not you. Him coming back now seems more like wanting what you can't have & longing to go back in time when life was simpler -- no responsibilities. I think he's sniffing around you more for what you represent -- youth & freedom -- then because he wants you.

 

If you two do manage to get divorced & get together it won't last long. There is too much bad history & resentment to overcome.

[anika99]

Nothing has changed. He was a cheater 11yrs ago and he is a cheater now. However you can't claim any moral high ground because you are also a cheater. Either fix your marriage or end it. Staying married and cheating doesn't fix your problems.

 

As for the ex you are having an affair with, yes you should have a hard time believing him. He didn't want you back then and he doesn't actually want you now. He wants you as an accessory, as an affair partner, nothing more.