Deep or Superficial = Easily Bored?

[Logo]

I could literally entertain myself and keep myself busy for hours on end without feeling bored. I may not always like the solitary nature of spending time alone, but I don't feel like every moment in life has to be a roller coaster ride full of thrills and excitement. Although, I do love adventures and challenges.

 

But there are people out there who need constant stimuli. They need to be constantly entertained and kept busy and wooed.

Are those people typically superficial, lacking in substance? Or are they deep people who need stimuli to keep their senses alive and going?

 

Just curious how others feel about it.

[Happy Lemming]

Yes, I've dated women who needed constant stimuli, albeit briefly.

 

Like you, I'm not easily bored. I can find joy in reading a good book, cooking a nice meal or going for a pleasant bicycle ride.

 

When you date a person that requires "roller coaster ride" stimuli, it seems you are always the one who is date or trip planning. If the person isn't satisfied with your efforts, complaints/insults will follow. Moreover, it seems the more radical the event/adventure, the more money it costs.

 

Personally, I think part of the problem is social media. It seems certain individuals want to brag about trips/adventures, etc. on these sites. I know my present long term girlfriend is constantly comparing our trips/adventures to her friends' vacations, who post on social media websites.

 

Just my thoughts/opinion...

[carhill]

While I personally can't stomach the rollercoaster long term, for a wide range of the behaviors from stimulus junkie to withdrawn and sullen, spend some time with an unmedicated bi-polar patient/person.

 

If one likes the energy and constant stimulus pursuit of the mania, watch out when things turn on their head.

 

Some people are high energy Type A personalities and are always on the gas. Sleep little, can't stand sitting still, always a new project, everything moves at warp speed.

 

Both types can be productive, loving and loyal, though their personalities/mental state can rub some people the wrong way, same as a person who presents like a lump on a log moving at a snails pace can rub people the wrong way.

 

'Why are you wasting time posting on a relationship forum when you could be out living life?'

 

I ask myself that question occasionally. Answer: I feel like it. Been out and done plenty of the life thing. Happy to be near 60 and healthy. Enjoy people and enjoy solitude too. Everyone has their own style.

[stillafool]

I could literally entertain myself and keep myself busy for hours on end without feeling bored. I may not always like the solitary nature of spending time alone, but I don't feel like every moment in life has to be a roller coaster ride full of thrills and excitement. Although, I do love adventures and challenges.

 

But there are people out there who need constant stimuli. They need to be constantly entertained and kept busy and wooed.

Are those people typically superficial, lacking in substance? Or are they deep people who need stimuli to keep their senses alive and going?

 

Just curious how others feel about it.

 

I don't know but I too enjoy spending time alone (and a lot of it). Sometimes I worry that I like too much alone time. I sometimes envy "People who need People" as the Streisand song says.

[Logo]

Don't get me wrong. When I'm with a woman, in a relationship, I enjoy going out and spending time outdoors as much as possible. I try to do that with friends, too.

 

But when I'm single, some of these activities aren't exactly a one-person activity, but I manage to keep myself busy.

I should have clarified my question, perhaps, with a little more detail.

 

 

Can one rush to conclude that people who are easily bored are more likely to be less faithful, while people who are more introspective and have substance are more likely to be confident -- stable -- and be more faithful?

 

Some people have little to no impulse control, others have it. Some people have loose boundaries, while others have well defined boundaries.

 

I'm just curious what others' experiences have been like with exes; perhaps there's a pattern of a personality trait that leads people to be less faithful and cheat.

 

Please don't tell me that "anyone" is prone to cheating; I have a hard time believing that.

[Chilli]

Funny , my daughter and l were talking about this stuff yesterday.

We're about the same , we like people when we like people and about the same amount of people but we both need our space and plenty of people gaps as well.

We both love a party too but when it's done giveme space and we'll need plenty of time alone next. And we're both completely our own people, she was even like that at 4 or 5 , l was too.

None of the girl pressures for her at school, it was her thing her way when she felt like it , where as all the others were always dependent on popularity and watching watching and keeping score. We were always so proud of her sense of self and always encouraged her assured her being her own person was a real quality to have.

 

Interesting reading carhills stuff there though,l've always wondered about the real people person types we were talking about that.

They seem like they just can't be alone, the second they are they're on the phone getting someone else over fast.

5 people leave 3 more arrive, a constant stream, on and on , got a brother like that. He baffles the mind has people staying weeks at a time , a days peace and someone else comes and on and on and on. In 12 mths he'd probably only spend a few weeks tops , without someone staying.

no thanks just shoot me.

Edited June 8, 2018 by Chilli

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I could literally entertain myself and keep myself busy for hours on end without feeling bored. I may not always like the solitary nature of spending time alone, but I don't feel like every moment in life has to be a roller coaster ride full of thrills and excitement. Although, I do love adventures and challenges.

 

But there are people out there who need constant stimuli. They need to be constantly entertained and kept busy and wooed.

Are those people typically superficial, lacking in substance? Or are they deep people who need stimuli to keep their senses alive and going?

 

Just curious how others feel about it.

 

I think this is a related theory I've read about a while ago:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter_vs._farmer_hypothesis

 

Snippet:

A key component of the hypothesis is that the proposed "hyperfocus" aspect of ADHD is a gift or benefit under appropriate circumstances. The hypothesis also explains the distractibility factor in ADHD individuals and their short attention span for subject matter that does not interest the individual (which may or may not trigger hyperfocus), along with various other characteristics such as apathy towards social norms, poor planning and organizing ability, distorted sense of time, impatience, attraction to variety or novelty or excitement, and impulsiveness. It is argued that in the hunter-gatherer cultures that preceded farming societies, hunters needed hyperfocus more than gatherers.