In search of adventure and meaning...

[BelleSkye]

A life of purpose...

 

*Warning* big rant coming up.

 

Went through it all. Big break up in 2015. Left the ex fiancé and his city to travel the world. 11 countries over 2 years - some on different continents - I am still proud of taking the risk or chance to leave my old city of 8 years.

 

Had a modeling contract, dated a few millionaires. Got the job I always wanted. Finally registered on the science council. Back in my home city (probably the best city in the world - the beaches are amazing here). Learnt to ignore narcissistic parents. Made new friends. Had my heart broken again and broke a few hearts along the way.

 

But...I want more.

 

Marriage and children are definitely not for me.

 

I want more purpose in life. I want to do more charity work - especially for animals - or animal rights specifically.

 

The guys I date are rich. And controlling. They want a trophy wife. I am tired of being fine dined from morning to evening and wish...I met someone who had the same passion as me. I am tired of being a piece to show off. I just want something real. With purpose. They never share the same drive as me when it comes to animal rights. I can't stand the materialism. And consumerism.

 

In my home country, South Africa, there are not many activist animal rights groups to join. I always feel like I would fit in much better with organisations such as PETA or Greenpeace. Unfortunately, it's not that easy for South Africans to join such organisations.

 

Not sure what else to put here over Loveshack. Other than, there is so much more to the world than our heartbreaks. There is so much genuine suffering (like torture, imprisonment etc) going on in some places that some people would give anything to feel a heartbreak like ours over this forum.

 

When I got my heart broken recently - I mulled over the thought of 'freedom". I am grateful I am free. Not kidnapped like the Fritzl girl (if you don't know the Fritzl case, I suggest you read up on it). I am grateful I am not trapped and tortured for entertainment - like the elephants in Asia or in circuses across the world.

 

I am grateful I had a guy break up with me instead of being trapped in a relationship which added no meaning to life.

 

If I do meet a guy, I hope he has adventure with purpose. I am tired of these millionaires who think site seeing and fine dining is adventure. I hate being controlled with money.

 

Oh Universe. I'm putting it out there.

 

Let me find more to this life. There has to be more to life than trying to figure out why he broke up with me or why I can't be with him / don't want him...

Edited June 10, 2018 by BelleSkye

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

If I do meet a guy, I hope he has adventure with purpose. I am tired of these millionaires who think site seeing and fine dining is adventure. I hate being controlled with money.

 

Oh Universe. I'm putting it out there.

 

Let me find more to this life. There has to be more to life than trying to figure out why he broke up with me or why I can't be with him / don't want him...

 

How about starting with not dating millionaires? I'm not trying to be sarcastic. If you're finding it that unfulfilling, you simply can just not do it, right?

 

Can you move to another country?

[d0nnivain]

Try starting a PETA chapter where you are. Open a rescue. Don't just sit there & lament that these things are "not done" in your country. Lots of things weren't done in lots of places before somebody changed them.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Try starting a PETA chapter where you are. Open a rescue. Don't just sit there & lament that these things are "not done" in your country. Lots of things weren't done in lots of places before somebody changed them.

 

Yes. Reminds me of this song:

[BelleSkye]

How about starting with not dating millionaires? I'm not trying to be sarcastic. If you're finding it that unfulfilling, you simply can just not do it, right?

 

Can you move to another country?

 

Of course! I understand where you are coming from. No insult taken.

 

The last relationship - well, he was definitely NOT a millionaire. Just a simple guy. I was content. I was in love / happy. It was also long distance. I could not visit him in America because of work commitments on my side so he ended things with me (was quite sudden...I was actually blindsided from the whole experience). But he has every right to continue dating whoever he wants in his area. I have to accept and move on.

 

I have tried working in another country. Its not that simple. Believe me. I have tried. Still working on it. Unfortunately everything does revolve around money. I hope to earn much more in the future so that I can pay a few people's salaries working at animal shelters etc.

 

I just really want to make a difference.

[BelleSkye]

Try starting a PETA chapter where you are. Open a rescue. Don't just sit there & lament that these things are "not done" in your country. Lots of things weren't done in lots of places before somebody changed them.

 

Definitely. I have my dream job right now. It is demanding. I am grateful. Hopefully this job will give me the opportunity to get a better paying job in their near future and I will have the network and resources to be more efficient in my endeavors.

 

I am a bit meh that this particular path is a lonely one. Not many people share this same passion as me in my city.

[d0nnivain]

I am a bit meh that this particular path is a lonely one. Not many people share this same passion as me in my city.

 

There are like minded people out there. You simply haven't found them yet.

[basil67]

Belle, it sounds like you've made a lot of bad choices in your life. Dating men with money for dinners or hope for political or career gain is never going to end well.

 

You need to do the hard yards on your own. What qualifications do you have for a career in animal welfare? Perhaps qualifications as a vet or even experience as vet nurse? You also mention giving legal advice....are you a lawyer? Can you specialise in that field?

 

No matter what, if you want a career which isn't offered where you are, you'll need to up and move to where it's at.

[basil67]

Try starting a PETA chapter where you are. Open a rescue. Don't just sit there & lament that these things are "not done" in your country. Lots of things weren't done in lots of places before somebody changed them.

 

For what it's worth PETA don't have much credibility where I am. Too many fringe dwellers as members.

 

I'd be going a bit more mainstream myself.

[ZA Dater]

A life of purpose...

 

*Warning* big rant coming up.

 

Went through it all. Big break up in 2015. Left the ex fiancé and his city to travel the world. 11 countries over 2 years - some on different continents - I am still proud of taking the risk or chance to leave my old city of 8 years.

 

Had a modeling contract, dated a few millionaires. Got the job I always wanted. Finally registered on the science council. Back in my home city (probably the best city in the world - the beaches are amazing here). Learnt to ignore narcissistic parents. Made new friends. Had my heart broken again and broke a few hearts along the way.

 

But...I want more.

 

Marriage and children are definitely not for me.

 

I want more purpose in life. I want to do more charity work - especially for animals - or animal rights specifically.

 

The guys I date are rich. And controlling. They want a trophy wife. I am tired of being fine dined from morning to evening and wish...I met someone who had the same passion as me. I am tired of being a piece to show off. I just want something real. With purpose. They never share the same drive as me when it comes to animal rights. I can't stand the materialism. And consumerism.

 

In my home country, South Africa, there are not many activist animal rights groups to join. I always feel like I would fit in much better with organisations such as PETA or Greenpeace. Unfortunately, it's not that easy for South Africans to join such organisations.

 

Not sure what else to put here over Loveshack. Other than, there is so much more to the world than our heartbreaks. There is so much genuine suffering (like torture, imprisonment etc) going on in some places that some people would give anything to feel a heartbreak like ours over this forum.

 

When I got my heart broken recently - I mulled over the thought of 'freedom". I am grateful I am free. Not kidnapped like the Fritzl girl (if you don't know the Fritzl case, I suggest you read up on it). I am grateful I am not trapped and tortured for entertainment - like the elephants in Asia or in circuses across the world.

 

I am grateful I had a guy break up with me instead of being trapped in a relationship which added no meaning to life.

 

If I do meet a guy, I hope he has adventure with purpose. I am tired of these millionaires who think site seeing and fine dining is adventure. I hate being controlled with money.

 

Oh Universe. I'm putting it out there.

 

Let me find more to this life. There has to be more to life than trying to figure out why he broke up with me or why I can't be with him / don't want him...

 

 

 

Those two things made me read: Cape Town.

 

 

Nobody should control anybody, in my view that isn't the purpose of life. Equally people should believe in something but few actually do so I understand why you are finding things more difficult.

 

 

Once again hello from probably the only other person on here from Cape Town.

 

 

Ironically I knew someone very similar to you, with a very similar story...

[bathtub-row]

I say join or create things you want and the right guy will probably fall into your lap. As far as being controlled by money - most people are, whether they’re rich, poor, or somewhere in between. It makes the world go around. Not all millionaires are jerks and not all middle class men are nice. Regardless, figure out how to do the things you want to do and enjoy your life. Dating someone in another country isn’t the right path to take unless you have plans to move there.

[Mentor99]

Having narcissistic parents can have a huge impact on someone. At the root, the child isn't there own person as all they felt they were was a reflection of their parents. The can leave you without a "core". No real understanding of your core values, or even what those are.

 

I dated a woman once who had a narcissistic mother, and when I asked her about her core values she couldn't nail them down. She said it was a fluid concept. She spent her life chasing feelings, because living according to her core values just wasn't something possible. She was beautiful and charming, but didn't have anything to anchor her. She was always running to the next thing. Got the temporary high and then ran again.

 

OP if your parents truly were narcissists, you might do well to look into therapy.

[SunnyWeather]

I'm not really clear what you are asking for here. There seems to be blurry lines between your professional world and your private life. If you want a life of adventure and meaning, (and a lavish one at that) then find a way to do it on your own terms.

 

It sounds like you are still building your professional chops, but are doing so in a way that involves being in a sexual relationship with the boss. That's never going to get you very far. Sure, you'll make some contacts and widen your network, but it sounds like you want to be respected and trusted in your business judgements. You need to build a professional reputation that takes time and effort to gain a track record, not by jumping the shark and having relationships with the higher ups that land you in 'trophy' positions.

 

If you're building a life and career on your own terms, you will be able to create a life that can have adventure and meaning that perhaps, will put you in the orbit of a like-minded partner who respects you and shares similar values.