Wife Left Me for Her Married Boss

[sczinger]

My WS wife took a job as a restaurant manager in March of 2016. It was a new establishment and very high end. Business is very good to this day.

I had a regular 9-5, and she had been looking for something more fulfilling and better pay for quite some time. We were married after an 8-year engagement later in September of 2016. She worked late nights, and I worked days.

 

We loved each other dearly and valued the times we were both off together, usually late, late weekend nights and the two evenings a week she would be off when I got home at 5.30 PM.

 

I am 57, and she is ten years younger, both in good shape. Her kids are grown and out of the house as is my one daughter. This is the second marriage for both of us. In September of 2017, shortly after our 1 year anniversary, she seemed to act a little different. Just my gut talking.

 

She would work most Friday and Saturday nights till the restaurant closed at 12 and count money. It seemed to be taking a little longer, however. I felt compelled to track her with an iPad for three weeks. I did this for about three weeks and discovered nothing. I felt terrible that I would even suspect anything. We got along great, never argued and had a wonderful sex life. I decided to remove the iPad the next day. The next morning, when she was off work, she texted me she was running to the store and asked if there was anything I needed. I said no. 20 minutes later iCloud showed she was at a park at 9 am about a mile from the restaurant she worked. I jumped in my car and went to the location and found her truck and her general managers, AP, truck parked nose to nose. I walked up to his truck where both of them were “talking inside” and knocked.

 

She was very quiet as she stepped out. I said “so this is what it feels like” and drove away. My next actions show how a person’s mind can hear and think what it wants and how the WS can prey on those emotions of the BS that dearly loves them. She told me later at home that he had been chewed out by the owner regarding the restaurant’s financial numbers and needed to talk. She apologized for lying about where she was.

 

Because of her impeccable past with me I tended to believe her. I wanted to believe her. Two months later as I returned home at the end of the day and after she had acted perfectly normal, she suddenly said she was not “in love with me anymore” and was going to move out. She started blaming me saying things like "I was too old and my friends were too old and she wanted a more exciting life with younger people" That I had all of her pet peeves and she wanted to travel more and go to concerts and blah, blah blah... I'm sure he has promised her travel and going out more, and she thinks the grass is greener.

 

She had gotten her tax check that day and had the funds to move out. She told me she didn't want anything from the marriage. It became a business at that point so I filed immediately, no kids, and uncontested by her, the divorce was final in 10 days. She moved out within a week. The OM wife got in touch and asked if I thought there was something going on between the two of them. I had not shared the meeting in the park with anyone to that point, but I felt impelled to share it with her. She had been tracking his emails and texts. Now, the AP is spending time at her new apartment while the APs wife confronted him with all the emails and texts. He asked for a separation, but his wife went ahead and filed for divorce, not what he wanted. His wife and I have compared notes and everything jives. Both marriages have now ended in divorce and I've chosen not to receive any updates about them form his wife. So far as I know, it is still a secret at their work. I have gone no contact since she moved out. She has emailed me a couple of times needed some little things she left behind. I did not respond, simply mailed them to her.

 

The two of them continue to deny having a "relationship" before the divorce, even though they both know they were tracked and the body of evidence his wife and I have amassed. None of this should matter to me since I’m single again, but still going through the grieving process.

 

I want her to know that I am aware of all her lying and cheating to give me some closure. I can’t begin to think this will last for them since he has an 11-year-old daughter and his wife has not worked for seven years.

 

With all that she has done, I still love who she was and miss her dearly. I still can't believe she did this to me. I could never take her back if this fails for her. I hope I couldn't.

[GorillaTheater]

It looks like you've done everything right so far; now comes the hard part of waiting for your heart to catch up with your reality. The good news is that it will in time.

 

 

The time will come when you're feeling particularly fiendish and take a date to their restaurant, and laugh about it afterwards.

 

 

It hurts now, but you'll heal. I'm sorry about how it feels now, though.

[carhill]

Welcome to LS....

 

Considering your first inkling of an issue occurred only nine months ago or so, I'm really impressed that you moved so fast on this and the divorce is already done. Wow. That portends well for the future and moving on. Stay strong. She showed you who she really is and that's cool. It's all good information. Unfortunate that the M lasted only one year.

 

IMO, it's OK to remember the good times, balanced with the reality of how things went. I look at it like this; I loved who and how I was when I loved her and was married to her. That's in the past. Valuable, but past. Our M was longer and it took me a couple years to get to that place. Good luck in your journey

[sczinger]

Thank you Carhill. When she said she didn't want anything, I'm glad I pulled it together long enough to run downtown, get the self-help divorce kit for uncontested with no minors. I turned the paperwork into the courthouse on a Tuesday and it was final the following Thursday.