stu1234 Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Been with my girl for 22months, we for the first time had a break a month back and it went for a week we met it was absolutely fine she stayed the night and things were good - she went away with family for 11 days and we had a mini arguement while she away. None of these arguementa are ever big it's always something petty like "I wrote to you at 9am you replied at 10pm" ****. It sounds pathetic but it came up read and it annoyed me - but she was with family and on holiday so I should have been better than that. I have been insecure of late and she hasn't reassured me very much. She's now back we saw eachother once that didn't go particularly well either in truth. Now she's short on texts and doesn't respond as much doesn't seem as interested. I ask her if she will come over and yday it was I'm with my family helping my sister with her uni work, today it's I feel sick my stomach hurts. I'm feeling really weird for the first time she has been so loyal and we've had an incredible ride no cheating or anything of that nature. I'm her first love and I want her first to be her last. We spoke a few days ago and both agree we've worked hard and we don't want to break up but the tone is changing and she isn't making as much effort as before to talk with me. I quit my job yesterday finding things stressful hated being there it was making me angry I'm happy I'm now free but the one thing I do want doesn't seem to want to work. I'm holding on and biting my tongue not saying how much this is annoying me because when I mentioned the fb thing before she thought it was pathetic. I know I'm insecure but I love her and I want her to come back to my arms. How do I play this right to resolve things. I don't think there's any other guys, maybe her mum or friends might say if she isn't happy to move on but she won't pull the trigger and if she did that'd be okay we could both heal but this middle part now where I just wonder is painful. I read a good quote today. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care about eachother enough to make it work. I hope we can make it work. Should I play it cool if she says no not tonight or do I ask if there's bigger issues. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care about eachother enough to make it work. I think that's a good quote to, however I am certain we are interpreting how it applies to your situation completely the opposite. I bet to you, its aspirational, it gives you hope. If only she would care and do x, y and z you'd have a great relationship. To me, it means this relationship has no hope. To me, it means this thing is over because she doesn't care enough to make it work. I suggest you follow your quotes advice and abandon any hope of this relationship working. No matter how much you care for this relationship, it won't be enough to compensate for her lack of caring for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Sorry, OP. It sounds like she’s already checked out of this relationship and your insecurity is pushing her even further away. I think it’s time for you to move on gracefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Been with my girl for 22months, we for the first time had a break a month back and it went for a week we met it was absolutely fine she stayed the night and things were good - she went away with family for 11 days and we had a mini arguement while she away. None of these arguementa are ever big it's always something petty like "I wrote to you at 9am you replied at 10pm" ****. You consider these mini arguments but to her they may have been too many and they piled up and she reached her breaking point. You cannot convince someone to put in efforts in a relationship, they have to come to that realization on their own. I think you need to walk away and maybe then she'll come to the realization she is about to lose something. If not, then it means she was done-done and has reached her point of no-return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stu1234 Posted June 14, 2018 Author Share Posted June 14, 2018 Thanks for all your comments and honest (unfortunate) responses to my situation. When you say it is best to walk away do I do so after a conversation with her or do I simply stop being responsive. I'm wondering if I should say that I don't feel she is putting effort in anymore and I'm going to go. Or if I just leave her NC until she comes around or doesn't. It seems that door number 2 leaves my heart lingering Link to post Share on other sites
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