noelle303 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 Our lawyer says that the court is on his side and the other man, who is currently unemployed will have an uphill battle. Also the longer he waits or has knowledge of this other child before doing anything legal about it, will also greatly hurt in his favour. The last contact my husband had with the other man's wife said she was going to file for divorce from the other man. So by moving away, we're making it that much harder for the soon to be divorced, unemployed other men who have two kids as his own. As for my husband and I, we'd share custody equally. I'm a good mother as he is father. Your lawyer is wrong. If the other man in questions files a paternity suit and proves that he's the biological father to a baby, all he has to do it say that he had no idea until then that he's the biological father. The courts will not separate a biological father from his child unless there is reason for it. And him not having a job at the moment is not a reason to forever separate them. Bit of personal experience: my xMM did not see our daughter for the first 5 years of her life and was not on the birth certificate. However, when he decided he wanted contact with her - I was told by my lawyer that he'll most likely get some sort of visitation being the biological parent. So we settled things in mediation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 Right now I'm not even sure if the other man even wants to be apart of her life. She is five and half months right now. I know my husband talked to the other man's wife, and while I don't know what was all said, I know my husband who is the legal father as of right now, said if the other man so much as tries to fight him he'll fight. I'm not going to side with the other man. Because frankly before I blocked him he was threatening to take my kid from me and on and on and on. So now I haven't heard from any of them. My oldest daughter is going to find out tomorrow about our impending divorce. I agreed to wait until after father's day. But we don't have any intention of mentioning the other man unless we have too. If he wants to be involved then he can be the one to make efforts to do so. The only thing I really regret was even having him do the DNA test. I should have just went to my husband about it first. But what is done is done. As for the seperation, it's happening. I signed the papers for the least on the one bedroom apartment. Our house which we had just listed received an offer. So it should close. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 (edited) Your lawyer is wrong. If the other man in questions files a paternity suit and proves that he's the biological father to a baby, all he has to do it say that he had no idea until then that he's the biological father. My lawyer said something about how we can petition to throw out his paternity suit on the grounds that the child was born into a legitimated marriage, thereby presuming the child to be legitimate. At the end of the day, the other man can do whatever he wants, and he'll have to pay child support if he wants to choose to stir the pot. So far he's dealing with an ugly divorce last I heard. So I'm not even going to worry about it. I'm not chasing him down when my daughter has a loving father who can provide her the world. Edited June 17, 2018 by TheRainbow Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 I have a 19mth to ex MM. i got a dna prove hes the father, i told her wife. a year on shes still with him and she blames me. not that fact hes a cheats:mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 18, 2018 Author Share Posted June 18, 2018 I have a 19mth to ex MM. i got a dna prove hes the father, i told her wife. a year on shes still with him and she blames me. not that fact hes a cheats:mad: I assuming that you weren't married. But from what my lawyer said and from reading. A married man is the legal father, and a baby born into a legitimate marriage is therefore legitimate. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 Do you plan to tell your daughter when she is older that the father she has known her entire life is not her biological daughter? You certainly have your legal ducks all lined up in a row... I can appreciate that he is not a good guy and why you would want to keep him away from your daughter. I can’t say that I would do things differently. I’m just curious to know what you think will be the emotional consequences of this decision when your daughter learns the truth and realizes that you have kept her biological father from her and/or you have kept the truth from her for years? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 18, 2018 Author Share Posted June 18, 2018 (edited) Do you plan to tell your daughter when she is older that the father she has known her entire life is not her biological daughter? You certainly have your legal ducks all lined up in a row... I can appreciate that he is not a good guy and why you would want to keep him away from your daughter. I can’t say that I would do things differently. I’m just curious to know what you think will be the emotional consequences of this decision when your daughter learns the truth and realizes that you have kept her biological father from her and/or you have kept the truth from her for years? The only thing I can do is tell her the truth. That I had an affair with a married man while her dad and I were trying to conceive. That at the time it was the best thing in my opinion for her. Or something to that degree. Any consequences from that decision I'll just have to deal with. But if the other man chooses to do nothing, then that'll just reinforce my decision. The more I think about it, I don't think he even really cares. I think he's mad at me because I refused to continue the affair, and as a result lost his job. Edited June 18, 2018 by TheRainbow Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 The only thing I can do is tell her the truth. That I had an affair with a married man while her dad and I were trying to conceive. That at the time it was the best thing in my opinion for her. Or something to that degree. Any consequences from that decision I'll just have to deal with. But if the other man chooses to do nothing, then that'll just reinforce my decision. The more I think about it, I don't think he even really cares. I think he's mad at me because I refused to continue the affair, and as a result lost his job. If I were you, I’d leave that decision to the bio father. That way, the blame doesn’t fall on you — and there will be blame. It’s a very serious thing to keep a child from its bio parent. Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 The only thing I can do is tell her the truth. That I had an affair with a married man while her dad and I were trying to conceive. That at the time it was the best thing in my opinion for her. Or something to that degree. Any consequences from that decision I'll just have to deal with. But if the other man chooses to do nothing, then that'll just reinforce my decision. The more I think about it, I don't think he even really cares. I think he's mad at me because I refused to continue the affair, and as a result lost his job. And if she ever needs an organ donation or other medical treatment or info that only the bio parent can provide, what then? What if your husband isn’t so amicable after he moves on with his life or dies, will you be able to provide all of the things she needs? It seems like you are counting on other people to pay the price for the choices you are making. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 My lawyer said something about how we can petition to throw out his paternity suit on the grounds that the child was born into a legitimated marriage, thereby presuming the child to be legitimate. At the end of the day, the other man can do whatever he wants, and he'll have to pay child support if he wants to choose to stir the pot. So far he's dealing with an ugly divorce last I heard. So I'm not even going to worry about it. I'm not chasing him down when my daughter has a loving father who can provide her the world. Exactly, presuming. Your husband was presumed to be the father at birth and he currently is the legal father. However, if the OM files a paternity suit and there is grounds to believe he is a potential father, the court would not dismiss the suit. Yes, the OM would be liebale for child support - however, my fOM was perfectly willing to pay child support if it would mean that he would have contact with his daughter. So don't assume that just because he would have to pay, that he wouldn't want to be in his child's life. There are men who accept those responsibilities. I also have to mention that I could never deny my child a relationship with her biological father if he is willing to be in her life and is not a danger to her. I think that that's such a violation of her own rights to know her origins and roots. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 I assuming that you weren't married. But from what my lawyer said and from reading. A married man is the legal father, and a baby born into a legitimate marriage is therefore legitimate. im not married. single. hes married to another woman Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 24, 2018 Author Share Posted June 24, 2018 So far the other man hasn't tried to be in contact with me since I went no contact with him. I'm not even going to worry about it unless he decides to pursue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 Yeah I don't think he really gives two ****s about the baby. The other man messaged me from a fake account calling me names and blamed me for all of his woes. A tangent and not one word about the baby. I ignored him. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Yeah I don't think he really gives two ****s about the baby. The other man messaged me from a fake account calling me names and blamed me for all of his woes. A tangent and not one word about the baby. I ignored him. Very sad. Does his wife know about the baby? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 Very sad. Does his wife know about the baby? Yeah, my husband told her about the baby. And also to let her know that he wanted the other man to back off. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Yeah, my husband told her about the baby. And also to let her know that he wanted the other man to back off. Ok. Well, I guess the numbskull MM has made his choice. Not much you can do about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 Ok. Well, I guess the numbskull MM has made his choice. Not much you can do about it. I'm glad honestly. I don't want him involved anyway. Faith is better off with my soon to be ex husband as a father. No competition there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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