Worried about his friend

[astrid44]

Hey,

So I've been dating this guy for about 5 months now. He lives about an hour away by train, so its not exactly long distance but we only see each other once a week.

Basically my worry is he has this female friend that he's very close with. He hangs out with her one on one (going to dinner ect), and has lots of pictures of the two of them together on his walls. This didn't bother me too much as I knew she had a long term boyfriend.

 

However, recently I found out she's broken up with her boyfriend and has been taking comfort hanging out with my boyfriend. Its making me a little uneasy, im sort of worried he's fancied her all along and had only written her off as a possibility because of her boyfriend who she's now broken up with. And Im definitely worried she might like him.

 

I want to broach the topic with him (hopefully when i see him this weekend) but I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it. Should I ask him straight up if he fancies her? Should I ask if they have any history? I need some help!

 

Thanks guys,

xx

[astrid44]

Side note: I feel like in past relationships I've always tried to be super "chill" and not mention when something's bothering me and I dont want to do that anymore. I want to be upfront. I'm just not used to doing that and I dont want to say the wrong thing

[smackie9]

Once a week isn't a relaitonship. It's casual, and he's being casual with her. He's been dating the both of you. You acting chill and don't want to be a bother is what he would call "perfect". He can have his cake and eat it too with no worries.

Edited June 16, 2018 by smackie9

[carhill]

IMO, focus any talk on your interactions, not others. Clarify your relationship. If you're spending consistent time together over five month, including stayovers and sex, having a conversation about being a committed couple is normal. Tell him how you feel and ask open ended questions. If he's not on the same page at this point I'd call that an irreconcilable difference.

 

Back before I got married, my exW and I had a similar deal for about 18 months, except we drove. We switched off weekends, one weekend I'd drive to her place an hour away, the next she'd drive to mine. We stayed in touch via phone during the week off and on. It was obvious to us, and to our friends and family, that we were a couple. How does it go for you?