brayden99 Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 so i’m 18 and my girlfriend is 17 and she texts her boss way too much. like non stop and me and her are together everyday. its been going on for 3 months now. but her boss is 29 and i’ve seen his text were he said he has no interest but he said she said she calls him baby and i love you. i know invasion of privacy. i couldn’t help my self. i don’t want to jump the gun and call her out on it. and i’ve seen where she would talk on facetime with him for hour or two a few nights and phone calls. i don’t know if i should say anything or let it be. i don’t know what to do. she keeps telling me no nothings going on. But there’s clearly something because she wouldn’t ever tell me she talked on the phone with him. and their texts are nothing about work. so it has me very worried. should i ask her again or let it be what do i do. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 (edited) There is something going on, they are having an emotional affair. Sorry but she may down play this attention she is getting from him,....you need to kick her immature butt to the curb. You can do better. She is cheating on you.....she gives attention to another guy...older guy eww. Edited June 17, 2018 by smackie9 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brayden99 Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 There is something going on, they are having an emotional affair. Sorry but she may down play this attention she is getting from him,....you need to kick her immature butt to the curb. You can do better. She is cheating on you.....she gives attention to another guy...older guy eww. tonight we went to the movies and i brought up the calling him baby out of sarcasm like oh i bet you call him baby to **** with him because she jokes about him wanting to **** her. i leave for bootcamp next month for the marines and i got her a promise ring too. but this past month she’s been too much with texting him. well when i said that to her she said your a bad liar the her mood changed immediately when we got in my truck leaving she said your scaring me and i want to go home. so idk what the **** is up w that. i didn’t do anything “scary” but either way. her parents are also bringing me on the cruise with them next month too. so i might just ride this a little longer that way they didn’t waste all that money and i didn’t either. then i’ll being it up again. if i’m gonna be gone for 13 weeks for boot camp and she can’t atop texting him right now and having phone calls and facetimes at night when she says she’s watching netflix then what the **** she gonna do during the months she won’t be able to see me... **** my life Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 She's over the line and not worth your time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 No need to wait. She knows she's being inappropriate and is mad you called her out. Don't ever expect honesty from her - she is always gonna work two guys at the same time. She gives women a bad name. She's not worth bothering with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brayden99 Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 No need to wait. She knows she's being inappropriate and is mad you called her out. Don't ever expect honesty from her - she is always gonna work two guys at the same time. She gives women a bad name. She's not worth bothering with. i think im gonna end it before i go to bootcamp next month. but i go on a cruise with her and her family like in 3 weeks or something like that. why not get something out of it atleast. and get another **** in or two. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 i think im gonna end it before i go to bootcamp next month. but i go on a cruise with her and her family like in 3 weeks or something like that. why not get something out of it atleast. and get another **** in or two. Because that's just so wrong. Using people will cause a backlash of all that negative energy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 i think im gonna end it before i go to bootcamp next month. but i go on a cruise with her and her family like in 3 weeks or something like that. why not get something out of it atleast. and get another **** in or two. It makes you no better than her. Explain it to her parents and cut it off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 i think im gonna end it before i go to bootcamp next month. but i go on a cruise with her and her family like in 3 weeks or something like that. why not get something out of it atleast. and get another **** in or two. That is just a horrible way to think. Your soon to be EX GF crossed a lot of lines. It's better that you break up before you go off to the Marines. Do not give her the promise ring; she's not worthy of your loyalty. The cruise is complicated. Somebody paid a LOT of money for you to go on that trip. At this late date her parents cannot get a substitute & will lose the money. In your shoes I would talk to your parents & between the 3 of you, possibly you can come up with 1/2 the money to repay the girl's parents when you break up. I don't think you need to pay it all because you were willing to go until you found out she was saying I love you to a grown man, her boss. That whole relationship is inappropriate on so many levels -- sexual harassment & possibly endangering the welfare of a minor since she's only 17. I would get the money together, break up with her & then have your parents ask for a meeting with her parents so the adults can talk about what you learned & exchange the money. If her parents have any sense, they will thank you for your candor & offer, but decline the money then investigate what is going on with their little girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brayden99 Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 That is just a horrible way to think. Your soon to be EX GF crossed a lot of lines. It's better that you break up before you go off to the Marines. Do not give her the promise ring; she's not worthy of your loyalty. The cruise is complicated. Somebody paid a LOT of money for you to go on that trip. At this late date her parents cannot get a substitute & will lose the money. In your shoes I would talk to your parents & between the 3 of you, possibly you can come up with 1/2 the money to repay the girl's parents when you break up. I don't think you need to pay it all because you were willing to go until you found out she was saying I love you to a grown man, her boss. That whole relationship is inappropriate on so many levels -- sexual harassment & possibly endangering the welfare of a minor since she's only 17. I would get the money together, break up with her & then have your parents ask for a meeting with her parents so the adults can talk about what you learned & exchange the money. If her parents have any sense, they will thank you for your candor & offer, but decline the money then investigate what is going on with their little girl. 800$ in like two weeks? and i never actually seen a text where she said i love you to him. the guy is very manipulative so i don’t know exactly what goes on. which probably just sounds like i’m making excuses but i really don’t know what all is going on. and i’ve alrwady bought her the promise ring i gave it to her last month. this is just a **** thing. anytime i bring him up she jumps to saying she’s in a bad mood. i hate this sh*t Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 800$ in like two weeks? and i never actually seen a text where she said i love you to him. the guy is very manipulative so i don’t know exactly what goes on. which probably just sounds like i’m making excuses but i really don’t know what all is going on. and i’ve alrwady bought her the promise ring i gave it to her last month. this is just a **** thing. anytime i bring him up she jumps to saying she’s in a bad mood. i hate this sh*t So what . . . .You heard her say I love you. Newsflash: just because it's not in text doesn't mean it didn't happen. If you heard it, it happened. What's your suggestion about the money situation? You think it's OK to just stick her parents with the bill? This is why I told you to get your parents involved. My husband is a Marine. Marines have integrity & loyalty. They are the few & the proud. You are weeks away from joining their ranks. Start living up to that code. Talk to your parents -- your superior officers -- about this situation & come up with a plan that has integrity on your side. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 How you live your life matters. Start now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 I'm sure she will have np finding a replacement for the cruise after you dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 I'm sure she will have np finding a replacement for the cruise after you dump her. It's not always that easy to change the identity of the guest. This is what Carnival cruise line says about the issue: https://help.carnival.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/3527/~/name-changes NCL considers it a full cancellation subject to penalty: https://www.ncl.com/about/cancellation-fee-schedule So while I'm sure this girl will get a new BF fast somebody may lose the price of the OP's ticket or have to pay change fees. I do think those should be the girl's responsibility but I still think this young man needs to tell the parents why he's bailing. If there really is a 29 year old predator . . . boss . . . out there hitting on a 17 year old both the employer & the parents need to be aware of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brayden99 Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 It's not always that easy to change the identity of the guest. This is what Carnival cruise line says about the issue: https://help.carnival.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/3527/~/name-changes NCL considers it a full cancellation subject to penalty: https://www.ncl.com/about/cancellation-fee-schedule So while I'm sure this girl will get a new BF fast somebody may lose the price of the OP's ticket or have to pay change fees. I do think those should be the girl's responsibility but I still think this young man needs to tell the parents why he's bailing. If there really is a 29 year old predator . . . boss . . . out there hitting on a 17 year old both the employer & the parents need to be aware of this. what makes all this worse is the fact that he’s not just her manager he’s the district manager. and idk what i’m gonna do yet this is all confusing on my half i don’t want to just dump her even if that’s the right thing to do. i’ve never been in this postion. it really is easier said then done Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 I believe I would talk with her and her parents at the same time. Just say that due to recent events you’re unable to go on the cruise with them. But that all “gf’s name” has to do is ask her boos and he would be more then willing to take my place. Good bye. Then leave. Be a man of honor and integrity. Do drop to your gf’s level. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 It is confusing but make no mistake the only one keeping you in this drama is you. You can make all the excuses to justify staying in this but self worth and respect come at a heavy price. Many try and live life based on what others want. Is that who you are or want to be? Get strong and stay there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 what makes all this worse is the fact that he’s not just her manager he’s the district manager. and idk what i’m gonna do yet this is all confusing on my half i don’t want to just dump her even if that’s the right thing to do. i’ve never been in this postion. it really is easier said then done Welcome to adulthood. Recognizing that you need help to deal with this is the best first step. Seriously. Talk to your parents. You have every right to drop someone who is unfaithful to you. But as somebody old enough to be your mom, I have safety concerns for this girl. Hence you need to get your parents involved. She is probably flattered by the attentions from an older man. That holds an allure for many young women. She doesn't understand that she's being victimized. His actions in carrying on with her violate most states' laws against sexual harassment & bosses need to step in. But you get to let the adults with experience (both sets of parents) straighten some of this out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 Joining the service is a good time to be single. Your GF is young and feeling the oats of her sexual power. In my generation a lot of guys ended up with kids at your age and being in the service and their wives/girlfriends doing whatever back at home while they wore a bullseye in 'Nam. If things feel wrong and her talk isn't blowing your skirt up, don't worry about the cruise thing, end it, focus on boot camp and your upcoming commitment to your country. There will be plenty of women coming into your life. No rush. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 (edited) Its not worth it, don't wait around for her excuses to pile up, This relationship is broken to pieces already like a broken coffee cup, Leave her faster than you can say goodbye, don't give her the time of day, It's time to forget about her selfishness and to get out of the way. Trust me when I say, she'll never give him up, I came across this same thing, Woman banging her boss at work for those promotions and enjoying the fling, She'll change her story about **** you catch and make you seem like you're crazy, Make a clear headed decision to move on, don't try to do it when you're hazy. Edited June 18, 2018 by DrReplyInRhymes Link to post Share on other sites
RideTheLightening Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 So what . . . .You heard her say I love you. Newsflash: just because it's not in text doesn't mean it didn't happen. If you heard it, it happened. What's your suggestion about the money situation? You think it's OK to just stick her parents with the bill? This is why I told you to get your parents involved. My husband is a Marine. Marines have integrity & loyalty. They are the few & the proud. You are weeks away from joining their ranks. Start living up to that code. Talk to your parents -- your superior officers -- about this situation & come up with a plan that has integrity on your side. I don't think we live in that kind of society. Nobody respects "integrity" or "loyalty". These are outdated concepts. If they were married and this meant divorce... would the judge cut out alimony payments because he showed "integrity" or "loyalty"? I sincerely doubt it. I think it's most important for him to find a way to get closure in what is a very bad situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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