You know it’s time to move on when...

[Logo]

Spending time with your friends goes from fun and relaxing to stressful and annoying.

 

I feel like my friendship has run its course. Either I recently changed or we’ve all become too relaxed around each other to the point that words and behaviors are crossing lines I’m not comfortable crossing.

[carhill]

Few friendships are perfect because few humans are perfect.

 

Generally friendships exist because of common ground on interests, philosophies, viewpoints, communication styles, etc.

 

If things change and common ground is no longer, next. Billions more around. The inhibition to change is our, if extant, desire for the familiar. A comfortable place where everyone knows our name and we can order 'the usual'. Friendships are like that sometimes. For those of us who like that place they can be hard to give up.

[Logo]

Few friendships are perfect because few humans are perfect.

 

Generally friendships exist because of common ground on interests, philosophies, viewpoints, communication styles, etc.

 

If things change and common ground is no longer, next. Billions more around. The inhibition to change is our, if extant, desire for the familiar. A comfortable place where everyone knows our name and we can order 'the usual'. Friendships are like that sometimes. For those of us who like that place they can be hard to give up.

 

 

They started as friendships based on interest and communication style. Viewpoints were initially voiced and I wasn’t very thrilled about many, but I noticed an attempt to adjust and adapt to nurture the friendship. So I stayed.

 

Then as more people joined, from within a group of individuals who once were close friends but lost touch, communication styles started changing significantly. Not on my part, but within the group to accommodate some of those people. In my view, the change was for the worse. Others dropped out of the group , but still circled around like satellites, making contact from time to time.

 

Then I started learning more about philosophies and viewpoints, that one day I found myself flabbergasted. I felt alienated and shocked. So I maintained a cordial relationship, but pulled away a little.

 

Then, communication styles changed to the point that the line between teasing, disrespect and rudeness started to blur.

 

Still, some try to smooth over these bumps in an effort to backtrack their statements. But, I want to feel comfortable and not be judged or wrongfully criticized simply to appease another member in the group.

 

I try my best to standup for myself and be assertive, but until recently I didn’t have to go to such lengths. There was mutual respect all around, some playful teasing, sure, but I felt lines were crossed recently that I’m starting to question these relationships.

 

And that’s where my post today stems from.

 

Thanks for the insightful response.

[Logo]

What really gets me is that one friend threw me under the proverbial bus to appease another friend. I didn't know how to respond or what to say. It caught me off guard because that hasn't happened before.

 

So not only did he turn out to be a hypocrite, but apparently his friendship with someone who hasn't done much for him is more valuable than his friendship with me.

 

It was sickening and eye opening.

[jenitta]

Some people are lucky enough to get good friends for their entire life. In my case, I am. We are 4 friends, have been together through thick and thin since the past 10 years. And hope to be together forever.