todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 I dislike it when houseguests take over.....which happens....i dont like it house guests when they sleep all day and are supposed to be looking for other accommodation....and i dont like it when they eat all my food......without asking...i already share everything i have but i dislike it when they eat more than their share....or my dinner as well as their own.... i like it when houseguests are respectful and helpful and pay their own way...it makes me feel ...not as tired and drained......that includes for me ...family houseguests.....as well as randoms..... you know what i love...is when i open my door and its one of my own treasured friend on the doorstep expecting nothing.....but my friendship.... and they bring me bread or food.....to feed to multiples when i havent even asked they give me strength...to handle house guests...and my friends leave my house with me and a smile on my face...just because......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 If you hate it that much, then you shouldn’t let people stay over. It’s your home. You have the right to do as you please. It's not always so cut and dry when it comes to family and close friends. I mean, nobody likes to help someone else move or to help pick someone up from the airport or anything like that, but most people will go out of their way at least a little bit to help a close friend/relative if asked. If you don't help people when they ask for help, you'll eventually have nobody at all to help you when you need help. That being said, I do agree that there should be limits. My personal limit is 1-2 nights tops, unless there was a literal emergency like their house caught fire and they have nowhere to stay. Just saying that it's not as simple as "never doing anything you don't want because you have the right to". Link to post Share on other sites
Garlend Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 We only accommodate guests we know and trust until bedtime. Then they return to their own homes. I suppose we would allow someone we know to stay throughout the night due to an emergency. Link to post Share on other sites
mossycup Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Don't feel bad! You can't control how you feel, it's how you feel. You could make yourself do it, but you won't enjoy it so unless its an emergency, why? I refuse to have house guests. I always volunteer to pay for the hotel. Not everyone can afford that, but, it's a way that I show I care without having to have people in my house. Usually they don't take me up on it though, they know it's just politeness. Another thing I do is make the hotel arrangements, for people who don't know the area. Link to post Share on other sites
mossycup Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 If you don't help people when they ask for help, you'll eventually have nobody at all to help you when you need help. I wan tot be careful around this line of thinking, because it requires context. There are many ways you can help, and I think it is cruel of a person to deny help to a friend because that friend wasn't able to help them, in a tit for tat way. I agree that if you literally never do anything helpful and then ask for help all the time, that's not great. But if there are areas where helping someone hurts me, I say no. I say yes where I can, though. So if OP really has a hard time with guests staying over, why say yes? But OP can say yes to other things, like the airport pick up, or covering hotel costs, or whatever. I realize that I am very fortunate to have a family that understands this concept and doesn't ever shame or pressure me into helping when it hurts me. Not everyone is so lucky. I guess saying no is a case by case situation for people who have others in their life who may be putting pressure on them. I wish OP wellness and strength in being able to say no without guilt, and say yes to the things she can do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WasOtherWoman Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 Thanks for all the comments / support everyone! So... my last round of houseguests JUST left this am. It has been almost three weeks straight of having people here. This was not exactly planned as the "middle guests" were not expected AND stayed longer than we had planned (a whole other story). I am so done with all of this.... By last night i was ready to evict everyone and lock all my doors. Deep breaths. No more guests for at least a few months. I will now resume my at least ten loads of laundry..... the last set of houseguests were the worst ever. Lots of my neighbors (when they moved to paradise where we live) have a list of "houseguest rules" because when you move somewhere warm and sunny you suddenly become everyone's vacation destination apparently. Ugh.... thanks for listening everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 Glad they’re gone. 3 weeks of a stream of guests is a lot. Like I said before - it’s your home. You have the right to say no. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WasOtherWoman Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 Glad they’re gone. 3 weeks of a stream of guests is a lot. Like I said before - it’s your home. You have the right to say no. We also need to limit the time duration. Some of this was family, so difficult for a hard "no", but definitely will never again be more then 4 days three nights for ANYONE. What.a.nightmare. Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 I am the same way. I don't like waking up to a house full of others to then serve breakfast to. It's not that I am selfish, I am just NOT a morning person at all. I like to do my own thing in the morning. I have my routine. I don't mind them coming over in the daytime, but once I turn in to bed I just like them to go elsewhere until I am dressed for the day the following day....lol Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 (edited) Yep , can't stand it. Not that l have many wanting to stay these days but it use to be. Hate every minute and just want them to go. Unless it's someone good and you all end up having a ball , but those ones always had to leave quickly usually , and the ones you couldn't stand would just stay , and stay , and stay , with all the time in the world. One of my brothers lives alone 1/2 the time, his gf comes and goes. But for everyone else he's place is a revolving door sometimes he'll have a string of 1 month even 2 , of people just staying going, someone else , then seomeone else , only hours or same day in between. l dunno how he lives like that. Edited July 5, 2018 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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