Still niggles me

[Macaronie]

This happened nearly a year ago and despite my friends telling me it wasn't my fault I still feel that Im to blame. My friend and I were going on holiday together and two weeks before the event (that I saved up and looked forward to all year) she caught chicken pox. She felt better after a week but obviously still had the spots, she still had another week for the spots to dry out but she cancelled on me 4 days before we were due to go. I was furious with her as if it were me, I'd have just put some makeup on to hide the spots on my face and would've gone anyway.

 

I went on the holiday alone (it was for 2 weeks) and backpacked around the place luckily meeting some friendly people to tag along with. My phone went wrong whilst I was out there and I only had limited contact with people - my other friends were constantly trying to contact me to see if I was okay - being alone in such a far flung country - but I didn't have any messages from her. She did however post a flawless selfie of herself - without the spots during my time away.

 

When I got back we talked it out and I apologised for being angry with her (I actually didn't go mental, I just said I 'hope she thought her decision was worth it' - my exact words before hanging up on her) but after I apologised to her I did ask her if she could understand how upset I was. She couldn't though. She didn't have a clue as to why I was angry with her at all.

 

Have I missed something, I used to adore this friend, she was so kind and sweet and felt like a true friend. The horrible thing about it is that I knew she'd back out of going on holiday as soon as she got chicken pox as in recent years she got a bit obsessed with how she appears to other people.

 

Am I the bitch or is she?! Oh and please be as brutal as possible as I guess this is purely a one sided issue and of course my friends and family would take my side. I need some perspective!

[preraph]

You are. Chicken pox are extremely communicable and I'm sure her doctor told her when it was safe again. You got to go and she didn't. Who do you suppose got the worst end of that deal?

[basil67]

I don't think either of you are horrible. She cancelled because she felt that she wasn't going to have a good time if she was all scabby and feeling bad about herself. This is understandable.

 

You reacted strongly due to understandable disappointment but apologised later.

 

If you value the friendship or even your peace of mind, it's time to let it go.

[Macaronie]

Well I guess I've done all I can really do. I apologised for my behaviour - I don't know what else I can do. Im not going to beg her to reconsider her stance as you cant force someone into talking to you again. Such a shame that a good friendship has gone down the drain - I hope she misses me as much as I miss her but I kind of doubt she does if she is still angry with my reaction.