How do I respond to this?

[blackbird_brokenwing]

This past Friday I invited a former coworker to a local show. We’ve been Facebook friends for over 6 years but haven’t talked much since he was fired 4 years ago. We recently both became interested in this cold case and have been messaging about it, and a few weeks ago I’d invited him to another local show (where I was on the guest list +1 so I got him in free). This past Friday I had another friend supposed to come, she couldn’t make it, so she gifted me her ticket as an apology to try and find someone else to accompany me. Thus I invited former coworker since we’d had a pretty good time a few weeks ago.

 

That day about 9am I asked what the evenings plans were. If we wanted to grab dinner before like last time. He said he’d get back to me when he was off work. So he texts at 6pm and says he’s home but he’s not hungry. So I said, well then we can just meet for the show about 8pm? (doors opened at 8) He said, well his other two friends were going to the show too (very first I’m hearing of this) and they were willing to give him a ride, so he is going to go to the restaurant with them at 7:30 and will meet up with me whenever I want to get down there.

 

I said I’d pass on dinner, I’d rather eat at home and save money plus I didn’t really like where they were eating. I text him at 7:45 and say I’m on my way and should be there about 8, if he wanted to meet me at the venue (the restaurant was 3 blocks from the venue).

 

I don’t hear back for 30 mins. By then I’m sitting at the venue waiting. He finally says “hey I owe you for the ticket but don’t have cash, come down and I’ll buy you a drink.” Feeling slightly irritated now because it’s clear he hasn’t left the restaurant and by now I’ve been waiting at the venue for 15 minutes, plus I don’t want to walk the 3 blocks there and 3 blocks back, AND I’m not much of a drinker, I kindly said no thanks, I’ll pass. The ticket was a donation anyway, I wasn’t expecting to be reimbursed. No response. Ten mins later I asked how long he would be. No response. By 8:30, I decided I’d go into the venue alone. The show started at 9 and I wanted a decent spot.

 

I message him saying I’m heading in. I didn’t hear back until after 9, with him saying “we’re on our way.” By now I’m over it. I feel used, like he very clearly made dueling plans with his other two friends and even after he’d said he wasn’t going to eat, he then went to eat with others and when he said he’d come meet me when I arrived, he then tried to talk me into going down there with them anyway. I had no idea these other friends (that I’d never met) were coming and the fact that I didn’t hear from him for 30-45 minute pockets after he clearly said he’d come meet me at the venue when I arrived, I wasn’t feeling very generous about giving a free ticket. Maybe that’s petty of me but his whole treatment of me was pretty crappy.

 

So I played tit for tat. He didn’t want to respond to me (or even read my messages) for such long periods of time, I guess I couldn’t hear my phone now that the show had started. Suddenly about 9:30 I’m tapped on the shoulder and I’ll be DAMNED but if some woman I don’t know says “are you X’s friend? Yeah he needs his ticket.”

 

... are you for real? You showed this woman my picture and directed her to come find me? I said “he’s going to have to figure something out.” I wasn’t about to be used for a free ticket after all that. I was shaking when I said that but she looked sassy and just walked away.

 

Haven’t heard a peep from him until just now he texts me “so you’re gonna have a problem with me but you’re not going to talk to me about it?”

 

What the hell. I feel like it’s pretty obvious why I wasn’t too happy. I was totally ditched and then he doesn’t even say a word for 3 days?? I am not hankering for this dude’s friendship and was completely fine going to the show alone, but I had a free ticket and had enjoyed his company a few weeks ago well enough so I thought it’d be fun. But anyway, how should I respond??

Edited June 19, 2018 by blackbird_brokenwing
Typos

[blackbird_brokenwing]

P.S. not that it matters, but he is a trans man so the argument of “men can be oblivious” doesn’t fly, hahah. He’s been very perceptive in the past.

[preraph]

I used to get free tickets to things and I had so-called friends do me that way too. They buddied up so I'd get them a ticket -- and then instead of accompanying me, they'd bring a friend along. I don't put up with people like that. I'm not their ticket dispenser. If someone offers you a free ticket to a show and you accept, you should be on standby for whatever plan the giver has for the evening. He did the opposite, and I don't blame you for getting sassy with him for it and holding the ticket. he had it coming.

 

And don't respond at all. Don't talk to him again.

[Logo]

With friends like that.........

 

 

I'm glad you didn't give the ticket to the woman he sent. He doesn't deserve it.

 

 

 

You tried to do something nice and this is what you get? Next!