Internet KILLED how relationships and dating work

[warp123]

Women have it easier, they just have to choose. As easy as swiping left or right on their phones. On top of that, guys trying to hit on them on facebook, instagram...

 

You dont even have the chance sometimes, it has happened to me and probably to you. You have a great date but not a second one, maybe theres nothing wrong, but the other person has too many other options, why not just keep looking a bit more and dish this chance, theres has to be more. This is the same as with money, when you have so much available, you dont appreciate what you have.

 

Even if you get into the relationship stage they know that if its not you, theres 100 waiting in line. No point in """wasting""" time trying to fix a relationship, its easier to get a replacement.

 

It also easy to fall into temptation (cheating), alternative secret email addresses, dating apps, silencing notifications or conversations, apps that hide another apps... jesus theres even a dating site for married people willing to cheat... what the hell is wrong with this world.

 

These lifetime relationships dont exist anymore. Extreme promiscuity is settling in, its here to stay. Its the relationship model for the future. Theres no place for romance, just quick satisfaction. Once the initial love rush is gone, theres no point in keeping the fire lit, just have to move on to the next person. We are doomed.

[Chilli]

Yet another guy shooting himself in the foot all over the internet.

 

When are you blokes gonna get it through your head and stop splattering this stuff everywhere building the illusion up even more.

You bet th internet is killing relationships and you guys spreading stuff like this is 50% of it.

 

lt appears they have it easier. But don't you read any of the threads round here and everywhere else. They don't , it's an illusion and you just build that up even more/.

There's just as many women all over the internet and on date sites that can't find love as men.

 

Sure they might get a few more offers or easier in that way , but the result and burn out is not different in the end. There's 100s of threads everywhere by women with all the same shyt as you.

l've met plenty of women , good ones , exhausted been single for years and years.

Stop spreading the bs and use your brains.

[Sbla22]

Hit the nail on the head in many respects. I reckon out of say 15 first dates I went on in the last 2 years, if the woman didn't have probably dozens of other online choices available to them it would have gone further. Granted, sometimes you just aren't a match regardless but there's a definite one chance only pressure a lot of guys have on first dates now. Personally I like to give women a few chances but a woman might say 'I had a great time on the date but didn't feel a connection' which I think a lot of the time now means 'I had a great time, I found you attractive, but there's ten other guys I am talking to so I am willing to let you slip away'

[Els]

Oh for chrissakes. For every woman in a heterosexual monogamous relationship there is a man in it as well. Your brilliant "model" only applies to polygamous societies or socities where men outnumber women 100 to 1 - and even in the country with the most skewed men:women ratio, China, the ratio is less than 2 to 1.

 

 

 

Maybe take up some basic math?

[kendahke]

Women have it easier, they just have to choose. As easy as swiping left or right on their phones. On top of that, guys trying to hit on them on facebook, instagram...You dont even have the chance sometimes, it has happened to me and probably to you. You have a great date but not a second one, maybe theres nothing wrong, but the other person has too many other options, why not just keep looking a bit more and dish this chance, theres has to be more. This is the same as with money, when you have so much available, you dont appreciate what you have.

 

Incel alert

 

Keep in mind that ev.er.y.bo.dy. is entitled to their preferences in who they want in their intimate space. There is no one, except a parent to a minor child, that can interfere in that.

 

There are just as many women on the internet looking for love who get stood up or worse, get left at the table on the first meet because they didn't live up to some clown's expectations. They get swiped left on, too. They get led to believe that something wonderful is blossoming only to find out that she's one of many he's running the smack down on, too. So please, enough of the pity party.

 

You aren't entitled to have a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with you. That is the bottom line of life and the sooner you're square with this, the happier you'll be.

 

 

 

Even if you get into the relationship stage they know that if its not you, theres 100 waiting in line. No point in """wasting""" time trying to fix a relationship, its easier to get a replacement.

 

It's a relationship, which is not a contract for marriage. You've got your expectations all messed up---and expectations are future resentments under construction. There is no such thing as devotion from the first meeting, unless something is wrong with you. No, it's not worth fixing something that is an obvious incompatibility issue early on in knowing them. If you know that person can't make you happy, then they've got to go. Oh well---it'll suck for a while then you'll be over it, unless you're just being dramatic, overbearing and selfish.

 

 

 

It also easy to fall into temptation (cheating), alternative secret email addresses, dating apps, silencing notifications or conversations, apps that hide another apps... jesus theres even a dating site for married people willing to cheat... what the hell is wrong with this world.

 

These lifetime relationships dont exist anymore. Extreme promiscuity is settling in, its here to stay. Its the relationship model for the future. Theres no place for romance, just quick satisfaction. Once the initial love rush is gone, theres no point in keeping the fire lit, just have to move on to the next person. We are doomed.

 

Some people aren't trying to be down with religious restrictions on how they want to live their lives. That's cool--you do you and let them do them.

 

You'd do well recognizing women who aren't of the same belief as you and stay in your lane, because it sounds like you're mad because someone who doesn't believe as you do has decided to live their life the way they see fit and now things aren't falling into place like all those fairy tale stories they told you growing up.

 

Some relationships should end--should never have started in the first place.

 

But I'm curious... what exactly do you think should happen to fix your problem, warp?

Edited June 21, 2018 by kendahke

[warp123]

Incel alert

 

Starting with insults, good job. With 6000 posts maybe the virgin its you here. For a start ive had sex with dozens. In fact im so done with it that for the last couple of years i reject dates where its obvious that the woman only wants sex, and focus on the ones who appear to be serious. (before this i dated for whatever the result)

 

Women get more picky because the availability and ego boost. On one side the hotter guys are easy to reach, on the other side, the others will try to hit on them, giving the woman herself an extra prestige that is only in her head.

 

As an example, and i hope you understand what i mean: a 10/10 guy will date girls down to a 7/10... but a 7/10 girl will only be interested in 9/10 or 10/10 guys... theres your maths.

 

Maybe these girls "left at the table" arent telling the whole story. Maybe they lied using old photos where they were younger and fitter, maybe they are crazy or maybe said something offensive. A decent girl wont be left at the table, theres has to be a good reason for it. I have been catfished and stood there like a champ.

[d0nnivain]

The internet has changed many things not just dating. Business is a good example. But throughout history people have always lamented that technological innovation changed things in a bad way & those folks lamented the "good old days." Listen to people's rants about how rock & roll & the pill increased promiscuity. I'm sure some thought the lightbulb & the automobile were bad & lead to the downfall of society.

 

Despite the ability to cheat or refuse to work to "fix" a bad relationship, there are still people out there willing to be faithful. You just have to find one.

 

More importantly, when we talk about "fixing" a bad relationship, we're talking about improving communication, not a wholesale overhaul of somebody's personality. When I was single & dating there was no "fixing" addicts, liars, cheaters, abusers, etc. With that stuff, for me it was always one strike & you're out.

[mortensorchid]

Did the internet kill relationships? Well that's the million dollar question isn't it? I don't think it's right to blame technology for these things. Here are a few other arguments that may make you see things otherwise : Cell phones. Many people said that the advent of cell phones and text messaging also killed relationships and aided infidelity. Because now you don't have to worry about calling a landline phone and the wrong person picking it up because it's in the pocket of the person you're trying to reach, and you don't even have to worry about being caught saying something out loud you shouldn't because you're silently texting it. Also remember that before the invention of the Model T people never traveled more than 100 miles away from the place they were born for business or personal reasons. There was also a huge sexual revolution that happened because of it as well. And since both of those inventions, how many occasions of infidelity (or otherwise relationship) have involved the use of a car or a telephone?

 

 

So it's not right to blame technology for how relationships have changed or why they are bad, they are bad because people are bad. They take tools (such as the internet / technology) and use them for latent reasons. I was saying to someone I don't get what has happened to this world in the last few years - people are so vain and narcissistic and ignorant. They will not admit they are wrong about things or could be wrong about things. All I can say is that people take these things and use them in ways that were not intended to the point of abuse, which is sad. But that's people to begin with.

[kendahke]

Like I asked, what is your solution?

[dude360]

Careful. This is a feminine zone so you're gonna trigger a lot of people.

[d0nnivain]

Careful. This is a feminine zone so you're gonna trigger a lot of people.

 

What is that supposed to mean?

[William]

Got a report on this thread for inclusion in our larger comprehensive thread regarding gender experiences in dating.

 

For now, I moved it to GRD since it's not about a particular personal dating experience and more about the effects of the internet on dating/relationships.

 

I noticed someone took a gender-bashing, and decidedly personal, shot upthread. Good way to get suspended on my watch. Let's move back to the topic and leave the gender bashing out of it. Thanks!

[RideTheLightening]

lt appears they have it easier. But don't you read any of the threads round here and everywhere else. They don't , it's an illusion and you just build that up even more/.

There's just as many women all over the internet and on date sites that can't find love as men.

 

This is wrong. You are basically complaining about 1st world problems.

 

Yes, women are at the buffet and can't find something they like to eat. They keep going for the food that looks really flashy and good, but it always turns out to be unhealthy and with a poor aftertaste.

 

The guys with this problem don't get to eat. They starve to death.

 

Comparing these two situations is just bloody stupid and shows displays a complete lack of understanding. Although I do agree that complaining about life and technology is just shooting yourself in the foot.

[carhill]

IMO, the internet is simply a tool, an information appliance. How the mechanic wields the tool determines the results.

 

For myself, the internet facilitated many dating, relationship and marriage opportunities. What I made of that was up to me.

[RideTheLightening]

Starting with insults, good job. With 6000 posts maybe the virgin its you here. For a start ive had sex with dozens. In fact im so done with it that for the last couple of years i reject dates where its obvious that the woman only wants sex, and focus on the ones who appear to be serious. (before this i dated for whatever the result)

Women get more picky because the availability and ego boost. On one side the hotter guys are easy to reach, on the other side, the others will try to hit on them, giving the woman herself an extra prestige that is only in her head.

As an example, and i hope you understand what i mean: a 10/10 guy will date girls down to a 7/10... but a 7/10 girl will only be interested in 9/10 or 10/10 guys... theres your maths.

Maybe these girls "left at the table" arent telling the whole story. Maybe they lied using old photos where they were younger and fitter, maybe they are crazy or maybe said something offensive. A decent girl wont be left at the table, theres has to be a good reason for it. I have been catfished and stood there like a champ.

 

Here is the thing... life is unfair. There is nothing you can do to make it fair. Your job is to go out into the world and put yourself in the best situation possible.

 

You must make an enormous commitment to self improvement. You need to realize that dating is essentially a competition that never stops. The worse you are at playing the game the worse your results will be. Improve yourself, and learn how to play and that will put you above most of the other guys out there. The benefits will then come rolling in.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Oh please. Do you know how tiring it is to go trough bags of garbage to find a speck of gold? At least when men get a match, she is more likely to have clicked on you, rather than put a phone under the table and swiped everything female

[Els]

This is wrong. You are basically complaining about 1st world problems.

 

Yes, women are at the buffet and can't find something they like to eat. They keep going for the food that looks really flashy and good, but it always turns out to be unhealthy and with a poor aftertaste.

 

The guys with this problem don't get to eat. They starve to death.

 

Comparing these two situations is just bloody stupid and shows displays a complete lack of understanding. Although I do agree that complaining about life and technology is just shooting yourself in the foot.

 

They "starve to death", huh? Wow, and people say women are melodramatic....

 

Have you tried starving for more than a day or so? Trust me, it's not anywhere near comparable to not having a relationship or sex with a hot young girl.

 

This scenario is more like someone at a seafood-only buffet complaining there's no steak, while someone at a buffet without seafood is complaining there's no seafood.

 

First world problems indeed.

[RideTheLightening]

Oh please. Do you know how tiring it is to go trough bags of garbage to find a speck of gold? At least when men get a match, she is more likely to have clicked on you, rather than put a phone under the table and swiped everything female

 

I don't see how this matters. Are you upset that not every guy you match with thinks you are his first choice? I mean the only reason men do this is because they only get a match one time in 300 swipes.

 

You would try to save time as well if you only got 1 or 2 matches a week... or month.

 

They "starve to death", huh? Wow, and people say women are melodramatic....

Have you tried starving for more than a day or so? Trust me, it's not anywhere near comparable to not having a relationship or sex with a hot young girl.

This scenario is more like someone at a seafood-only buffet complaining there's no steak, while someone at a buffet without seafood is complaining there's no seafood.

First world problems indeed.

 

This is your privilege talking.

 

The suicide rate for men in this situation is extremely high compared to the general population. We are social creatures, and being rejected from the group is psychologically damaging and painful beyond anything you can probably comprehend.

 

Your lack of empathy for people in this situation is sad.

[TheFinalWord]

Women have it easier, they just have to choose. As easy as swiping left or right on their phones. On top of that, guys trying to hit on them on facebook, instagram...

 

You dont even have the chance sometimes, it has happened to me and probably to you. You have a great date but not a second one, maybe theres nothing wrong, but the other person has too many other options, why not just keep looking a bit more and dish this chance, theres has to be more. This is the same as with money, when you have so much available, you dont appreciate what you have.

 

Even if you get into the relationship stage they know that if its not you, theres 100 waiting in line. No point in """wasting""" time trying to fix a relationship, its easier to get a replacement.

 

It also easy to fall into temptation (cheating), alternative secret email addresses, dating apps, silencing notifications or conversations, apps that hide another apps... jesus theres even a dating site for married people willing to cheat... what the hell is wrong with this world.

 

These lifetime relationships dont exist anymore. Extreme promiscuity is settling in, its here to stay. Its the relationship model for the future. Theres no place for romance, just quick satisfaction. Once the initial love rush is gone, theres no point in keeping the fire lit, just have to move on to the next person. We are doomed.

 

Yes and no. No doubt social media has changed things, or maybe its just making what's always been there, more obvious.

 

There are a lot of simps out there, helping to foster the problem. Double tapping every instagram "star" showing her ASSets. Creating mass Pavlov dog social experiment. A lot of these instagram stars use photoshop, implants, steroids and filters to look better than they really do. Airbrushing used to reserved for supermarket magazines. Now anyone with a camera can make themselves look like a model.

 

But most people long to find a real relationship. It's only a small percentage that want only casual all the time (mostly men TBH) or maybe it's just for a small bit of time. It's also a lot about timing. I can't tell you the number of times I've hit it off with a woman, but the timing was just not right for one of us, and then things fizzle out.

 

A lot of men get overly invested in a woman too quickly when she may not even like you. Really there is nothing you can do to create chemistry with a woman. Her instagram followers have little to do with that. You can get in better shape, improve your fashion, and improve your social skills, but you can't really control chemistry. Most women need to feel instant chemistry and you may just not do it for her. Don't get all butthurt if she blows you off. Attraction isn't a choice IMHO. Even an objectively good looking guy like a Brad Pitt; at best only 80% of women find him attractive. The main thing men can work is being just as choosy as they perceive women to be. You have access to the same social media. Don't get salty if rejected (she may have a cute friend), don't over-pusure as though you have no life or options, and DO NOT play the white knight. A person has to earn being treated like GF. Don't give it automatically because she's cute or you think you can convince her to like you. If there is chemistry, those things can kill it pretty quick. It's a numbers game. Don't invest emotionally until you've had at least 3-5 dates. I also don't believe in the myth of "the one"...in reality there are lots of people that could be a match for you. You just have to go through a lot of people to find someone worth investing in.

Edited June 21, 2018 by TheFinalWord

[Fair]

Women have it easier, they just have to choose.

 

Even if you get into the relationship stage they know that if its not you, theres 100 waiting in line. No point in """wasting""" time trying to fix a relationship, its easier to get a replacement.

 

It also easy to fall into temptation (cheating), alternative secret email addresses, dating apps, silencing notifications or conversations, apps that hide another apps... jesus theres even a dating site for married people willing to cheat... what the hell is wrong with this world.

 

These lifetime relationships dont exist anymore. Extreme promiscuity is settling in, its here to stay. Its the relationship model for the future. Theres no place for romance, just quick satisfaction. Once the initial love rush is gone, theres no point in keeping the fire lit, just have to move on to the next person. We are doomed.

 

There's nothing that turns me off faster than men whining how women have it easier. Women do NOT have it easier... just read the rest of what you wrote and realize that women have to put up with all the same b.s that has befallen the dating world today. How do you think you're alone in this?

 

Now if all men were faithful saints as some like to portray their entire sex as being, who are patiently waiting for a good woman to come along and stay with them forever... of course, then we'd have it easier, but good gawd, finding a good man is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

[Els]

I don't see how this matters. Are you upset that not every guy you match with thinks you are his first choice? I mean the only reason men do this is because they only get a match one time in 300 swipes.

 

You would try to save time as well if you only got 1 or 2 matches a week... or month.

 

 

 

This is your privilege talking.

 

The suicide rate for men in this situation is extremely high compared to the general population. We are social creatures, and being rejected from the group is psychologically damaging and painful beyond anything you can probably comprehend.

 

Your lack of empathy for people in this situation is sad.

 

 

Right. Try living in a third world country for a while and get back to me, why don't you?

 

 

 

If you are truly "psychologically damaged", the solution is psychological help, not a (hot, young) girl.

[Adiron]

Women have it easier, they just have to choose.

 

Women certainly do not have it easier. I've heard just as many women complain about how difficult it is to find a good guy and how so many have simply given up on dating as a result. An attractive girl may get a lot more messages but it's mostly garbage and doesn't get her any closer to finding the sort of guy she's looking for.

 

It also easy to fall into temptation (cheating), alternative secret email addresses, dating apps, silencing notifications or conversations, apps that hide another apps... jesus theres even a dating site for married people willing to cheat... what the hell is wrong with this world.

 

That has a lot more to do with the persons moral character and the quality of their relationship than the fact that the internet has provided tools to facilitate an affair.

 

a 10/10 guy will date girls down to a 7/10... but a 7/10 girl will only be interested in 9/10 or 10/10 guys... theres your maths.

 

That's not math. That's you making stuff up as you go along because it makes you feel better about your personal failures as if it's up to science and not your own abilities.

 

We are doomed.

 

You are doomed. Because of your lousy blame everyone but yourself attitude.

[Imajerk17]

I admit to finding this thread confusing. Are you arguing that the Internet ruined dating or are you instead claiming that women are too picky? Or both...

 

1. Women as a gender have always been pickier, in this sense that they feel the spark far less often than we do. This certainly was the case long before the Internet. It goes with the fact that she has to be the one to carry the baby for 9 months. So indeed, the woman who is a "7" (your terminology not mine) will get interest from random men because she looks nice in her sundress and flip-flops, whereas we guys do need to have something else besides being decent-looking.

 

[That isn't to say that women's *standards* when it comes to the "logical" metrics such as looks career success ect are higher. As women fall in love average-looking guys all the time, there is something going on besides that.]

 

 

2. If a woman doesn't want to go on a second date with you, it is not due to all her options waiting for her on her computer when she got back from her first date with you (sorry to say). For better or worse, people are pretty good actors, someone can be a really good date/express interest even when they aren't sure of whether they are interested. That isn't gender-specific by the way.

 

 

3. OP I find it strange that you are able to have sex so easily but you have a tough time getting a woman you are into to see you again. [Most guys who write these threads have a very difficult time getting a second date.] Women are the ones who tend to bond after sex so if you are able to inspire enough attraction to sleep with her then you have an "in [pun partially intended].

Edited June 21, 2018 by Imajerk17

[beatcuff]

...You dont even have the chance sometimes...Extreme promiscuity is settling in, its here to stay. Its the relationship model for the future. Theres no place for romance, just quick satisfaction. Once the initial love rush is gone, theres no point in keeping the fire lit, just have to move on to the next person. We are doomed.

too funny -- back when i was a kid... ok before my time but i am guessing that is what they said about the 60's, i mean the 70's, oops the 80's... you understand PEOPLE have been swiping left and right since --- forever. back in my day (80-90's) you went to a bar/night club: no no no chat no no no no chat no no, new day more of same... the means/method has changed but the game has not. a/k/a instead of complaining, time to look within.

[Mr. Lucky]

too funny -- back when i was a kid... ok before my time but i am guessing that is what they said about the 60's, i mean the 70's, oops the 80's... you understand PEOPLE have been swiping left and right since --- forever. back in my day (80-90's) you went to a bar/night club: no no no chat no no no no chat no no, new day more of same... the means/method has changed but the game has not. a/k/a instead of complaining, time to look within.

 

Thank you. As someone who (ahem) slightly predates the WWW, the only thing that's changed is the pace. And, at least to me, that's a good thing as it allows one to separate the contenders from the pretenders much more quickly. Men successfully navigating this process would have had the same luck in 1960, or 1860 for that matter...

 

Mr. Lucky