Temporary Foster Parent Emergency placement

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Hi Parents...

 

My week with little tyke has taken a turn and he will now be with me from 2 to 3 months while my friend, his mother is receiving care in hospital. The original thought was to have him with Grandpa but it is thought at 77 he is not the first choice. The good news is Grandpa and I get along famously so the plan is to soend half of the day with Grandpa (Who looks, acts, and is as fit as a 45 year old) plays tennis daily and so on). He is fine with little tyke being here.

 

I have lots of questions so if anyone wants to wade in on any or all of these please feel free. Please note: at almost 50 I have never been a parent before so if any of the questions sound dumb apologies this is my first time out of the gate!

 

1. Food. He goes to food therapy weekly (has failure to thrive and a feeding tube in his stomach so he gets fed through a pump 3 times a day) and also eats a bit of food of limited quantity type and preparation. The feeding pump takes an hour and he is able to drink milk in a sippy cup during this time and water is allowed during the day. He is to be encouraged to drink water and eat some of his allowed food during the day, but he never asks for any.

 

I sit with him during the feed and the milk and the purée I feed him. Since the pump stays on so long, is it acceptable to also do colouring or reading together whilst he is in his high chair?

 

To get him to eat additional food is it ok to ask him to eat additional food?

 

2. Reading. He seems to like to be read to A LOT and I like reading to him. Is spending an hour or so at each feed Reading overkill?

 

3. Plastic bibs, washing machine or dishwasher?

 

4. Is there a preferred laundry soap for toddlers?

 

5. Should I ask him what he wants to wear he is 2.5 years old or should I choose? I’ve been choosing.

 

I have many more but I don’t want to post a book.

[MidwestUSA]

Okay, I'm not a parent either.

 

Congratulations!

 

Two of the triplets that I care for have feeding tubes (they had trachs as well, which are now closed). You can do whatever your heart desires while the pump runs, as long as you keep him relatively still, and don't yank on that extension tubing. Whatever makes him happy. We try for learning experiences, but fun is allowed. Of course if they doze off, they doze off (not as common now as two years ago).

 

Absolutely encourage him to eat. I'll warn you, it can be discouraging. He may start to feel full while the pump is running, so you should also try for oral intake when the pump isn't running. Does he spit up a lot? We went thru hell with that.

 

I'm not clear on how the feeding people work with them, I haven't witnessed it. How much does your tyke weigh? Just curious. What were some of his early problems? Was he a preemie?

 

I'm not sure how you can read too much. Let him be your guide. If he's inattentive and bored, then call it. It's the girls' favorite thing too (next to videos, which are used more as a treat. They are always grabbing for my phone and finding my photos/videos. Kids these days!).

 

I do the plastic bibs by hand while I'm doing their bottles, but I'm sure either of the other ways is fine. Sometimes a simple wipe is all that's needed. Don't melt them on super hot!

 

Absolutely let him pick his own clothing, within reason. Give him a few things to choose from, not an entire department store.

 

Tell me more!

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Hello Midwest I will answer in line as it may be easier.

 

 

Okay, I'm not a parent either.

 

Congratulations!

 

Two of the triplets that I care for have feeding tubes (they had trachs as well, which are now closed). You can do whatever your heart desires while the pump runs, as long as you keep him relatively still, and don't yank on that extension tubing. Whatever makes him happy. We try for learning experiences, but fun is allowed. Of course if they doze off, they doze off (not as common now as two years ago).

 

He has the tube and the pump and he doesn’t doze, he really has been starved for attention while my friend was in a long episode and didn’t really tell anyone until it was a desperate situation so he really likes any attention you give him and the only video he likes is of a construction site. You can’t get near a play pen with him because my friend would often put him in there when she was crying or if she needed a nap because of her medication ( just found this out !) so if you even walk by the playpen he starts screaming “no pen! No pen!” So I’ve put it in the loft. I should also mention he has only one kidney.

 

Absolutely encourage him to eat. I'll warn you, it can be discouraging. He may start to feel full while the pump is running, so you should also try for oral intake when the pump isn't running. Does he spit up a lot? We went thru hell with that.

 

No spitting up but I’m concerned he doesn’t drink enough water!

 

I'm not clear on how the feeding people work with them, I haven't witnessed it. How much does your tyke weigh? Just curious. What were some of his early problems? Was he a preemie?

That’s a good question on the feeding people. They take him into a room with other children no parents allowed I will ask on Tuesday. They did weigh him last Tuesday and I didn’t think to ask his weight but apparently he’s 27% under the weight for his age. He is also very short and is still able to fit in clothes marked 1.5-2 years. He was not a preemie but they have concluded that it was from a lot of the medicine she was taking (this was told to me by Grandpa)

 

I'm not sure how you can read too much. Let him be your guide. If he's inattentive and bored, then call it. It's the girls' favorite thing too (next to videos, which are used more as a treat. They are always grabbing for my phone and finding my photos/videos. Kids these days!).

 

I do the plastic bibs by hand while I'm doing their bottles, but I'm sure either of the other ways is fine. Sometimes a simple wipe is all that's needed. Don't melt them on super hot!

Thank you. Do you use an anti bacterial wash or regular washing up liquid?

 

Absolutely let him pick his own clothing, within reason. Give him a few things to choose from, not an entire department store.

 

I am at my house so he has limited clothing here. Part of Granpa’s concern is that my friend often dressed him as a fairy or unicorn (I am embarrassed to say this because it is pretty far out but she’s been sectioned because they believe it might be not bipolar but something called unstable personality disorder? But she often dresses as a fairy herself) so I brought only the “normal clothes” no rainbow stuff either. Is it over stepping the mark if I get get some tops and shorts for him while he is with me? I am able to afford it.

 

Tell me more!

 

He is also very chatty although not all of it is real words I don’t think. Is this normal?

 

Also I think it would be good for him to have some play dates because he’s never had any. Do you think this is a good or bad idea?

 

Thanks!!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Hello Midwest I will answer in line as it may be easier.

 

 

 

 

He is also very chatty although not all of it is real words I don’t think. Is this normal?

 

Also I think it would be good for him to have some play dates because he’s never had any. Do you think this is a good or bad idea?

 

Thanks!!

 

Sounds like he could have a speech delay, but I would imagine if he's getting regular feeding therapy they would stay on top of that too? I don't know. My son only said "ick" and "ack" at 24 months and then started speaking in sentences suddenly at 28 months. Is this child hooked up with early intervention services?

 

Play dates are a great idea .

 

I don't think buying him some outfits would be out of line at all .

[Mr. Lucky]

 

1. Food. He goes to food therapy weekly (has failure to thrive and a feeding tube in his stomach so he gets fed through a pump 3 times a day) and also eats a bit of food of limited quantity type and preparation. The feeding pump takes an hour and he is able to drink milk in a sippy cup during this time and water is allowed during the day. He is to be encouraged to drink water and eat some of his allowed food during the day, but he never asks for any.

 

I sit with him during the feed and the milk and the purée I feed him. Since the pump stays on so long, is it acceptable to also do colouring or reading together whilst he is in his high chair?

 

To get him to eat additional food is it ok to ask him to eat additional food?

 

My middle son, now six-feet tall, was born at 30 weeks and, amongst various ailments, also had failure to thrive and both a feeding tube and pump. I would do any activity at the table that keeps him busy and that he finds enjoyable. I'd also do anything that encourages additional consumption to ease the transition from assisted feeding. Unless there are other neurological or coordination issues, most kids grow out of the problem pretty quickly.

 

How wonderful of you to step up !!!

 

Mr. Lucky

[knitwit]

Are you on Facebook? There are several private Facebook groups for Foster Parents (including a PA Foster Care and Adoption board- based on your name I'm assuming you're from that great state). You can search and join. There are many foster parents with medically fragile tykes who can help answer your questions and maybe even have some play dates.

 

It's wonderful of you to step out and help out like this!

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Are you on Facebook? There are several private Facebook groups for Foster Parents (including a PA Foster Care and Adoption board- based on your name I'm assuming you're from that great state). You can search and join. There are many foster parents with medically fragile tykes who can help answer your questions and maybe even have some play dates.

 

It's wonderful of you to step out and help out like this!

 

Thank you. I don’t use Facebook but I will look into local groups.

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

My middle son, now six-feet tall, was born at 30 weeks and, amongst various ailments, also had failure to thrive and both a feeding tube and pump. I would do any activity at the table that keeps him busy and that he finds enjoyable. I'd also do anything that encourages additional consumption to ease the transition from assisted feeding. Unless there are other neurological or coordination issues, most kids grow out of the problem pretty quickly.

 

How wonderful of you to step up !!!

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I’m so happy your son is happy and healthy. (And tall!) I have got some colouring books now too so we will see how that is for him too! I’m feeling very blessed we will get to spend this time together.

[Mr. Lucky]

I’m feeling very blessed we will get to spend this time together.

 

It's a journey with special challenges when your child has these kinds of issues.

 

Once, my wife and I were with him at the bank when he somehow grabbed and pulled out his NG feeding tube. No big deal to us, we just reinserted it, something we'd both become adept at. Unbeknownst to us, upon witnessing this and thinking an emergency was occurring, the branch manager called 911 and summoned paramedics, who arrived with full siren and gear.

 

We laugh about it today but it was pretty embarrassing then. Kids and their never-ending ability to keep you humble!

 

You sound like a generous and loving friend, everyone involved is lucky to have you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Thank you for your kind words. It’s actually me who feels lucky to be tasked and trusted with something so important and as I was never able to have children of my own I feel really blessed that the universe is gifting me this privilege of have the time and also their respect that I have the opportunity to look after little tyke and Help my friend too.

 

It's a journey with special challenges when your child has these kinds of issues.

 

Once, my wife and I were with him at the bank when he somehow grabbed and pulled out his NG feeding tube. No big deal to us, we just reinserted it, something we'd both become adept at. Unbeknownst to us, upon witnessing this and thinking an emergency was occurring, the branch manager called 911 and summoned paramedics, who arrived with full siren and gear.

 

We laugh about it today but it was pretty embarrassing then. Kids and their never-ending ability to keep you humble!

 

You sound like a generous and loving friend, everyone involved is lucky to have you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Feeding Clinic today! He has a new approved feeding list. They said he did well and now we are going home for a feed too!

[nospam99]

Belle Thanks for keeping 'us' up to date. No toddlers in my home for more than 20 years now (and there'd better be no grandkids on the way) but I love little kids (especially if I'm NOT THE ONE who has to diaper them). It's uplifting to read about his progress. Bless you for the love and care you're giving this child.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Belle Thanks for keeping 'us' up to date. No toddlers in my home for more than 20 years now (and there'd better be no grandkids on the way) but I love little kids (especially if I'm NOT THE ONE who has to diaper them). It's uplifting to read about his progress. Bless you for the love and care you're giving this child.

 

Ditto! :love:

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Thanks everyone! We are learning “the wheels on the bus”! He doesn’t mind my horrible voice! I am enjoying this more than He is!

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Hello friends!

Today is my last day and overnight with Little Tyke. It’s been the most amazing experience ever, and he is potty trained! I’m going to miss him terribly but Social Services said that they would look to me again if the need ever arises. My friend is much better and I will be there to support her as needed/wanted. Grandpa is very grateful and brought me flowers and a box of chocolates today when he picked up little tyke to spend 2 hours doing their favourite thing: watching construction!

 

Thank you all for your support and ideas. I’ll keep you updated as to how he is getting on!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Hello friends!

Today is my last day and overnight with Little Tyke. It’s been the most amazing experience ever, and he is potty trained! I’m going to miss him terribly but Social Services said that they would look to me again if the need ever arises. My friend is much better and I will be there to support her as needed/wanted. Grandpa is very grateful and brought me flowers and a box of chocolates today when he picked up little tyke to spend 2 hours doing their favourite thing: watching construction!

 

Thank you all for your support and ideas. I’ll keep you updated as to how he is getting on!

 

God bless you .