Moni_1609 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 I was 1 year and a half with someone I believe was a sociopath or has any other mental disorder. At first he was the most amazing, he told me he loved me very soon and showered me with love, travels, gifts, attention and other things. Then he started being too controlling, he accused me of cheating without any prove, checked my phone even in front of me, punished me with silent treatments for very silly things. I started to being paranoid, even hiding texts from my mom, I felt guilty and I didn’t know why. He manipulated so much, that I started to believe that I was going crazy an he even forced me to have sex with him. He was totally indifferent to my tears or pain, he said extremely hurtful things to me and lied about everything. The last time I spoke with him, he told me to stay away from him, he told me that he was evil, that he was going to hurt me very much and that I will be better without him. I feel extremely confused because one day we were fine and the next day it was awful. We are not together anymore and I do not understand why I still feel that I need him, he is like a drug for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Adiron Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Perhaps he's not the only one with a mental disorder? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moni_1609 Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 Perhaps he's not the only one with a mental disorder? Why do you say that? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 you're in love with the "good" side of him. Mental illness runs in our family, primarily depression, but I do have a sibling who exhibits sociopathic tendencies, and it's scary. he's funny and sweet and loving when the sociopathy isn't running rampant; years ago, I cut off the relationship after he did and said some hurtful things to family, because I couldn't live with the stress of trying to keep my sanity. It doesn't mean I love him any less, just that I realized that I am the only one who gives a damn about my mental health. we talk every so often, but I don't really encourage that relationship because while he may be aware that people are upset with him, I don't truly believe that he understands just what he is capable of doing, of how he wrecks relationships. My thought is that sometimes, the only way you *can* continue to love someone is from a distance, otherwise, that love dies a quick, ugly death from the abuse they heap on you. I would suggest you do the same for your guy: Love him, but from a safe distance, where you can ensure your psychological health remains in a good place, otherwise, folks like that will pull you under without even thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Welcome to LS.... A diagnosis is better left to professional psychiatrists and psychologists. I've interacted with a range of diagnosed mentally ill people and happened to care for a psychotic for a number of years and my experience has been most personality disordered people have some idea that something is off with them but the truly insane have no idea. Their disease is their reality. I ran into something similar with classic unmedicated BP1's or 2's - They suck one in while in the mania then flip. The manic side is often very intoxicating if the person is otherwise very attractive (physically) but watch out when they flip. The dating partner/love/spouse keeps looking for that manic high person they fell in love with and that keeps them in the game. It comes and goes. In those cases indeed I did get the warning/disclaimer and in some cases even an apology. They knew they were sick. Problem with a guy like that is they can kill people if they go sideways. One never knows which way they'll go. The most attractive of them can keep women in the game though. Raw and crazy apparently is attractive if the package is pleasing enough and it appeals to the caretaker personalities out there. Sounds like you figured things out and are staying away from this guy. Good for you. How have your subsequent dating interactions with other men gone? You OK? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Agree with the above poster. Those who suffer from BPD or sociopathy can be charming on one hand, then psychotic on others. We tend to want the good side of them all the time, and they know that they can take advantage when the good side comes out. When the bad side does, all they do is turn up the charm and you take them back. But there's nothing you can do about it unless you decide to see them for what they are. Link to post Share on other sites
BaronChairman Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 A nice side can win quite a bit of goodwill from anyone. That's why there's stockholm syndrome, where captives sympathize with their captors. Link to post Share on other sites
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