No husband support with medical or health related issues

[JuneL]

So what does he do after work and during the weekend, except for engaging in those unfunished home depot projects?

[JuneL]

Btw, why hasn’t your hubby come back?

[cliptec]

So what does he do after work and during the weekend, except for engaging in those unfunished home depot projects?

 

he comes home very late because he wakes up late and goes to work late. On weekends he'd wake up very late, dilly dally, play soccer, watch tv, think of a project and not finish it.

[SJS]

In addition to what others have said, I think you should both sit down and read the 5 Love Languages together. It seems like you have different ones and you are resentful that he doesn't recognize yours (sounds like his is more acts of service, i.e. fixing the gutter so it doesn't overflow and leak and freeze, but yours is more receiving gifts).

 

I would also advise watching what you say and how you say it, knowing he's reading this. If I read that my spouse equated our marriage to being drowned and chained, I probably wouldn't stick around.

[JuneL]

Your husband mentioned earlier she’s willing to do marriage therapy. Are you doing that soon?

[cliptec]

Your husband mentioned earlier she’s willing to do marriage therapy. Are you doing that soon?

 

I've only heard him say something about that but i do not i dont think we're going to do that anytime soon. He's good at mentioning things but doesnt follow through. Just because I laugh sometimes from watching the tv or reading something funny, he thinks we have no problem.

[Maxpower3979]

Maxpower3979, do you see the difference between this:...and this:...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Mr. Lucky,

 

Yes. We both made accurate statements. I was talking about the events, and she was talking about her feelings. We are talking past each other.

 

When she fell, she called me from the ground, and I threw on pants and rushed out the front door to help her up. While I disagree with the statement that I didn't ask if she was okay (How could any human being not say "Are you okay? What happened?"?), I think that's exactly how she felt. She felt like I didn't say anything because she felt like I didn't care. Sadly, I think it's safe to assume that I focused more on the cause of the problem (the ice) than the result of it (her pain). I was shocked that she continued into her car a few minutes later, and left for work.

 

This is a recurring issue with me. I know I can protect her from experiencing that again by fixing the ice problem, but I have no confidence in my ability to comfort her. Analytically, I saw that she experienced pain, and did my best to ensure that she would not experience it again. Emotionally, I should have been more caring, perhaps by convincing her to skip work that day, making soup, setting her up on the couch in a way that puts no weight on that side, etc. Perhaps her memory of that event would have been of how much I cared about her.

 

Mr. Lucky, is that the point you were trying to make?

 

Oh...and we have our first couple's therapy session tomorrow! Woo!

Edited July 17, 2018 by Maxpower3979