Trading Favors

[Shining One]

My girlfriend and I are both making various repairs and improvements to our homes. We help each other out as our various abilities allow. I also have several friends who help me out from time to time. She made a comment the other day about how it must be nice to have friends like that. I explained to her that it's common among my friends to trade favors. I asked her why her friends don't help her. Her response: "Girls don't do that."

 

I have two questions: Is it true that women don't trade favors with each other? If so, why not? By trading favors, I don't mean literally trading one favor for another. I mean using your skills to help a friend and that friend also uses their skills to help you, not necessarily at a 1:1 ratio. An example: One of my friends is very handy. His entire garage is basically tool storage and a workshop. He has helped me with various home improvements. In turn, I've helped him and his family with various technology services over the years.

[d0nnivain]

Women do help each other out. Unfortunately I don't know too many women who know a lot about home repair so we aren't able to perform small home repair tasks for each other.

[preraph]

So much of home or auto repair requires more physical strength than some women have. I mean, last time I tried to help my friend paint, she had her mom and mom's friend helping her, but I wasn't much use at all. I have painted in the past, but past the point where I can do much of it.

 

I have had a friend help me just lift something before. None of my friends or my sister has healthy backs and different things hurting them. Plus everyone is working so much, it's really hard to even find time or find any time at the same time.

[Els]

Nah, not true. I've had female friends help me and vice versa. Not necessarily home repair per se, but I've had female friends help me out with immigration paperwork, my wedding, general advice, so on and so forth.

 

 

 

I don't see why it has to be gender limited though - male and female friends can help each other out, too.

[LurkerXX]

I have helped with everything from leveling the posts for a carport, to wedding photos, drywall, advice on moving (which I did a lot in my days doing wildlife work). I have received help with tailoring (extra short person here), learning

how to drive a tractor and use a frontloader, evaluating homes and land, advice on dating. No trading favors is not weird between women, or even between genders as long as there is a clear understanding.

 

Help with moving is the gold standard for gving and receiving, which I have had both.

[Garlend]

Hopefully, this isn't going to be misinterpreted as tooting my own horn, but I actually like to help neighbors and other folks I know when their lives become complicated through no fault of their own. And I never expect a "favor" to be returned.

 

Sadly, I once gave a really nice bicycle to a very troubled lady who works with my wife, and she mistakenly thought I expected certain favors as payment. This really hurt me, because I would never expect such a thing.

 

If they're laying around on drugs, however, forget it. If they don't care, don't expect others to.

[Shining One]

I don't see why it has to be gender limited though - male and female friends can help each other out, too.

I asked about female/female friendships because I have no firsthand experience with those.

[CrazyKatLady]

Nobody teaches women skills they will need in life unless it's their father or some other male figure or a strong female mentor or family member who is from a generational line of artisans. I wouldn't advise a female to trade favors for any kind of service, to many predators would surface.