2muchl8 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 What are some common lies the married person tells the om/ow? I feel like they have certain lines to keep us hooked on them and the fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Overtaxed Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Some that I heard: My wife and I don't have sex (reality was, they had sex occasionally, including, I'm pretty sure, one of the days he had sex with my wife). I'm only staying for the kids (his wife was totally unaware he was looking to leave. On d-day, he immediately chose his wife and started tearing my W apart as the "cause" of everything). I've never done this before (had an A). This was the 3rd time his wife caught him. I've always been in love with you. Reality is, I'm not sure he knows what love actually is, other than "I want to f**k you". If how he treated my W and his was/is love, trust me, you don't want any of it. God wants this for us. Yes, he actually said that. My W was lacking for religion, I'm an atheist, and he used God and his "authority" with God often in the A. I didn't know they'd be here (his friends at a public place where he was with my W). Reality was, he wanted to show her off to them and probably laugh about it afterwards and give the play by play (I don't know the 2nd part for sure, but I suspect it to be true). I'm sure there are others, that's just a smattering that I remember. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2muchl8 Posted June 27, 2018 Author Share Posted June 27, 2018 Very disturbing. I've heard some of those. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 The most common lies are also, often, the most believable, because they could be true. Every cheater has their first affair sometime. Odds are it's not you. But it could be. Plenty of people live in sexless marriages. It certainly could be true. But it might not be. Some parents honestly do stay together 'for the kids' and split up as soon as the kids reach a certain age. It could be true. But it could just be an excuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 In no particular order..... 1. I'm separated 2. I'm living at my (relatives) 3. We're not having sex 4. It's complicated 5. You misunderstood 6. I don't want to be married anymore 7. I'm looking out for the children's welfare 8. (MW's) H is abusive/violent/lazy/alcoholic/drug abuser/philanderer 9. I filed for divorce but spouse isn't cooperating. Now, today, with MW's I just sit back and listen. They want to tell their story. Link to post Share on other sites
What_Did_I_Do Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Here are more lies told (no particular order): 1. We are just roommates 2. We don't/haven't had sex in (fill in the blank) years 3. We have nothing in common 4. I'm only staying for the kids, if not for them I'd have left a long time ago 5. No one has ever loved me like you do 6. I will protect you no matter what (nope MM...you want to protect your a**) This is more of an excuse but something I was told repeatedly: 7. If we ever became a legitimate couple, the kids/extended family/society/people everywhere would hate us There's more but these are the most common. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 I had an affair & the things I said weren’t a lie. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, OM did make me happy, I did Love him. What a lot of people want to believe is that everything that is said in affair is a lie...that’s not always true. Sometimes it’s honesty but that doesn’t mean most will walk away from comfort. If you read A post a lot of times you’ll read on how anyone has an affair is awful, a WS is usually shamed to the worst degree to family & friends & broke down...so I’m thy situation when you have the BS saying they’re willing townrok on it...what person wouldn’t say no? They’ve been threatened with their money, kids & reputation. Sometimes, yes WS is lying to OM/OW but sometimes they’re telling the truth but go back bc their whole extistence is threatened. Then that turns into “if that WS leeally loves you they would have left”....then after they go back, they have to go to therapy & forever tell their spouse it was all lies, I don't know who I was, OM/OW seduced me & I was stupid...now some really do feel that way but many don’t. It’s just to make their BS get over it & life to get back to normal. At the end of the day, some of it’s truth & some of its lies but ultimately it doesn’t work out bc of what I meNtioned. There’s tons of anonymous articles about it. Read the ones from the WS...it will give a clearer perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 Here are more lies told (no particular order): 1. We are just roommates 2. We don't/haven't had sex in (fill in the blank) years 3. We have nothing in common 4. I'm only staying for the kids, if not for them I'd have left a long time ago 5. No one has ever loved me like you do 6. I will protect you no matter what (nope MM...you want to protect your a**) This is more of an excuse but something I was told repeatedly: 7. If we ever became a legitimate couple, the kids/extended family/society/people everywhere would hate us There's more but these are the most common. These lists are unsettling. In this one, I heard 1, 2, 4 & 5. Although we aren't together anymore, he still swears by these. Funny thing is his kids are grown and married, but he says he stays to be a good example of commitment and that his ex-wife had told them of his past when he wasn't such a good person, bc he is divorced from their mom. This is his 3rd and longest marriage and they have no kids of the marriage. He doesn't want his kids seeing him as their mom portrayed or think divorce is the answer. So he stays and says he's miserable but "it is what it is." Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 "I don't want my kids to think divorce is the answer so I'll show them that cheating is the answer instead" wow that's some logic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 “I love my wife” Link to post Share on other sites
CloudyHead Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I posted this in 2015 and it is relevant today. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/561687-things-mm-say-you Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Here are more lies told (no particular order): 1. We are just roommates 2. We don't/haven't had sex in (fill in the blank) years 3. We have nothing in common 4. I'm only staying for the kids, if not for them I'd have left a long time ago 5. No one has ever loved me like you do 6. I will protect you no matter what (nope MM...you want to protect your a**) This is more of an excuse but something I was told repeatedly: 7. If we ever became a legitimate couple, the kids/extended family/society/people everywhere would hate us There's more but these are the most common. #5 and #7 #5 was pretty much verbatim: "no one has ever made me feel as special and loved as you do" Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 “I love my wife” Mine said that. I do believe that, insofar as he can love anyone beyond himself. Link to post Share on other sites
clw Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Word for word from his texts I don't know if I will leave my wife, is this what you are hoping for? I have deep unexplainable feelings for you I will always protect you What I wouldn't do to spend the whole day with you I'm wondering if I should spend the night with you or move my travel plan Sorry you are feeling this way..and believe me I was and still trying and never lied about anything I always have your best interest at heart You are giving up without even trying? I am so disappointed ...and so many more Link to post Share on other sites
What_Did_I_Do Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Shoot, I forgot the granddaddy of them all: 8. I've never lied to you. Why would I lie? I have no reason to. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Shoot, I forgot the granddaddy of them all: 8. I've never lied to you. Why would I lie? I have no reason to. Oh, yes! That one, also. "I'd never lie to you because we were/are friends first and our that is the most important part of our relationship." (We were friends many years bf A began.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Oh, yes! That one, also. "I'd never lie to you because we were/are friends first and our that is the most important part of our relationship." (We were friends many years bf A began.) That’s another one - “the friendship is more important than the sex” I asked him once if we could just go back to being friends. He said yes and then 2 days later he got me alone with him and said “I have condoms”. So much for friendship. Really, how could I ever have fallen for this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 im not sleeping with my wife Link to post Share on other sites
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